a Page 7890 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Timberwolves GM Wants Fans To Know He Is Aware Of How Much Team Sucks
Mired in a nine-game slide, the Timberwolves are struggling to get acclimated to Kurt Rambis' triangle offense. Further, the team stinks. So, GM David Kahn did the only sensible thing - he wrote a letter to the team's 10 fans....
This Guy Is Trying To Steal John Daly's Bit
And no, I'm not referring to Udorn Duangdecha getting his stomach stapled and surviving solely on Diet Coke and cigarettes - check out those slacks. Crap, they're so loud that Marlee Matlin heard him trying them on. [Devil Ball Golf]...
Your Late Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
It's time for the second round of games on this wonderful Saturday afternoon. There's plenty of options on the telly, with Florida at South Carolina as perhaps the most intriguing. Can you imagine how excited these girls are right now?...
Joe Torre Is Happy For The Yankees - No, Really
Given his acrimonious exit as Yankees manager, one would suspect that Joe Torre would be a bit bitter about the Yankees winning the World Series. Nope. Not at all. In fact, he's as pleased as punch - or something....
I Bet The Graphics Guy Who Cropped Indiana's Logo This Way Feels Like A Boob
Heh. Tit. And for those of you worried about this warping our young people, it has already been changed to a less-offensive image. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make "BOOBLESS" appear on my calculator. (Thanks, reader Josh)...
CFL Player Gets Stabbed After Attending KISS Concert (Updated)
Calgary Stampeders tight end Teyo Johnson got stabbed at a party Thursday night after he went to a KISS concert. Apparently, it has been learned that it was a DJ Tiesto concert - not KISS. Same difference, right? [TSN]...
It's Too Bad The Title 'Psycho' Was Already Taken
So, Ron Artest is making a movie about his life. That's...um, interesting....
To Be Fair, Jesus Was Fiercely Anti-Merkin
Okay, one more Jesus-related post today. In anticipation of College Gameday's appearance in Fort Worth today for the TCU-Utah tilt, one clever TCU fan decided to make it known Lee Corso's long-running feud with the King of Kings. [myFOXdfw]...
Your Early Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
You got Tennessee-Ole Miss on CBS. Go forth and watch collegiate football. Drink beer if you wish. Try to avoid getting arrested....
Chad Ochocinco Fined Veinte Mil Dólares By Liga Nacional de Fútbol Americano
¡Ay, caramba! Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver/prop comic Chad Ochocinco has been fined $20,000 by the NFL for jokingly attempting to bribe an official with a dollar bill during last Sunday's game against the Baltimore Ravens....
Rick Nash Is A Fancy Boy
I haven't seen a hockey player make a move this fabulous since D.B. Sweeney's one-footed salchow in The Cutting Edge....
That's Nice And All, But I Heard Jesus Hates Them
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
And Now A Selection From Tim McCarver's "Great American Songbook" Remixed
During the MLB playoffs, Fox baseball analyst extraordinaire Tim McCarver released a CD of him crooning through jaunty Cole Porter-style songs without a smidge of irony. We had grand plans for this. Some fell through, but one miraculously worked out....
Hockey Player's Attempted Murder Conviction Just A Hilarious Case Of Mistaken Identity
Sportsnet.ca has an epic interview with fresh-out-of-prison former Blues player Mike Danton, who says he didn't hire an assassin to kill his former coach/mentor, David Frost. He was really trying to kill his father. Totally different situation! [Sportsnet, via RiverfrontTimes]...
The Louts Will Rise Again
This swaying stereotype called Michael, apparently an Ole Miss frat creature, has some thoughts on that controversial "South will rise again" chant. It takes him precisely 10 seconds to say the magic phrase. Hint: It's not pro scientia et sapientia....
Night Of The Living Customized Jerseys
They're back. As long as people continue to waste money on customized sports clothing we will continue to celebrate whatever it is they're trying to accomplish. It's not a choice ... it's a lifestyle....
The One Where The Texas Rangers Inform Us Their Six-Shooters Are Not Whores
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
LeBron James Pays Fitting Tribute To Jordan, Gives Fans New Overpriced Jersey To Buy
LeBron plans to surrender his No. 23 in MJ's honor. The real tribute here is less in the number change than in the shrewd business sense to introduce some No. 6 LeBron merch a month before Christmas....
Ten Questions To Ask A Man Before You Agree to Marry Him
It's been my experience in life that, while men are more likely to bitch about the institution of marriage, it's WOMEN who more often end up regretting getting hitched....
Please Don't Mention Eggs To Mike McCarthy. Ever.
The Packers fired a 22-year Lambeau Field employee because coach Mike McCarthy thought he heard the guy tell him, "Don't lay an egg." That sounds about right. I wonder if the Metrodome is hiring? [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]...