abl Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

His Name Is Also What the Police Did
Kansas Jayhawks basketball player Chase Buford — son of San Antonio Spurs general manager R.C. Buford — was arrested on suspicion of driving while hammered. [KMBC]...

Diagramming Sarah Palin's "Full-Court Press" Metaphor
Last Friday, Sarah Palin shrugged into her respectable Republican cloth coat and announced she was resigning from office. Along the way, she dropped a somewhat baffling basketball analogy, which we've helpfully diagrammed for you below, just as Palin described it....

Exit Music For An Acta
SI.com reports Manny Acta's time managing the Washington Natinals will be over soon. President Stan Kasten won't confirm or deny that report, only saying that he's "perplexed" by the abysmal 16-43 record, which probably means he's done....

Yorvit Torrealba's Son Rescued From Kidnappers
The Colorado catcher's 11-year-old son and two of the boy's uncles were kidnapped in Venezuela, but escaped before any ransom was paid. The incident was kept quiet by police and MLB until it was resolved. (Safely, thank goodness.) [Denver Post]...

But Do They Use Flex-o-Lite Paddles?
Last time we featured table tennis, the conversation focused on female players dressing sexier to attract more fans. But now, a pair of 14-year-old identical twins from Brooklyn are going to save the sport the old-fashioned way: with their paddles!...

I Have Seen The Devil, And He Is A German Cycling Fan
Dios mio! El Diablo! Lucifer, a.k.a. Deutschland's Didi Senft, crashed the Giro of Italy earlier this week in his own unique, horrifically terrifying fashion. You know times are tough when even Satan needs corporate sponsorship....

Matt Vasgersian: “I Am An Enormous Jagoff”
Our Deadcast guest this week is Matt Vasgersian, anchor for MLB TV, FOX play-by-play announcer, and fan of the site. And, untethered by network restrictions, Matt had some pretty cool shit to say....

ESPNU/Time Warner Cable Experiencing Technical Difficulties, Porn (NSFW)
There can't be that many people watching ESPNU at 3:17AM, but on Saturday there was at least one, and he got a little surprise while hunting for a late-night sports fix (very NSFW)....

Freddie Mitchell Is Here To Set The Record Straight
Last we'd heard from Freddie Mitchell, he was being investigated after a 7-pound package of weed was delivered to one of his restaurant businesses in Florida. Before that, he was allegedly substitute teaching. Now? Blogging....

Yankees Blowout: Can't You Smell That Smell?
So the Yankees lost yesterday by a fat, glorious pile of runs, 18 of them to be precise. How, you might wonder, have the city's clever and fiercely original tabloids responded? With olfactory puns!...

Breaking: Some Sports Franchises More Equal Than Others
"Don't get me wrong I love America," a reader writes. Whatever Wen Ho, think I don't get my fill of pinkos whining about Fox over at Torture Points Memo?...

Please Do Not Jostle Billy On The Ice
Toronto warmly embraces new non-contact youth hockey league. Just kidding; it's being shunned like the angel of death. [CityNews.ca]...

And Everything Was Going So Well For The Cardinals
The return of Chris Carpenter to the Cardinals' rotation was a brief one. DL likely. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]...

And Now A Story About Heroes, Presented Here In Various Sizes
If you're just now learning of this story, I'll guess that there's something caught in your eye; just like there was with me when I first read it. Dang grass pollen allergy season....

The Horrbile Truth: Lady Terrapins Eat Kids
It's their team motto, and it's simply left to us to interpret it. "We Eat Kids." What kind of sick antics are going on behind the scenes at the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament?...

The Cable Guy Finally Shows Up
Sources have told the San Francisco Chronicle and NFL Network that the Raiders have settled on Tom Cable as head coach. Press conference possibly today. [San Francisco Chronicle]...

Presidential Smack Talk With Kevin Johnson
Terrible: With two million people at the inauguration you have to figure at least one of them would be a Steeler fan. [Mondesi's House]...

Al Davis Taking His Sweet Time, But It Looks Like Cable
Although the Raiders have given no official indication on who they're leaning toward as head coach, it's probably going to be Tom Cable, and it could be very soon. [San Francisco Chronicle]...

Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Six years ago today the internet heaved the mighty Black Table upon an unsuspecting internet nation, so it's my duty to pay respect....

"Ping, Pong! Someone's In The Door!"
Go ahead and start your Christmas wish list for 2009 [Mental Floss]...