abl Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Seriously, Juan Pablo Montoya Can't Get Enough Tacos
I think we all owe Bob Griese an apology. [Twitter]...
Griese Taco Crack Leads To Explosive Consequences
ESPN/ABC announcer Bob Griese has been suspended from working this week's college football games, after saying on air that Juan Pablo Montoya was missing from NASCAR's leaderboard because he was "out having a taco". Whoo-hoo! Ten-day weekend! [SI/AP]...
Randy Hanson Keeps It In Perspective
After learning that former boss Tom Cable would not face charges for breaking his jaw, Hanson said: "It felt like the Rob Lytle fumble all over again." He's like the Al Davis of terrible analogies. [Yahoo]...
No Charges To Be Filed Against Tom Cable
The Napa County DA just announced that Raiders coach Tom Cable will not be prosecuted for any crimes as a result of a "tussle" that broke the jaw of assistant Randy Hanson....
Randy Hanson Worked For The Raiders And Lived To Tell The Tale. Barely.
"From my blindside, Tom Cable threw me from my chair and into a piece of furniture that a lamp sat upon. He was screaming, ‘I'll f—- kill you! I'll f—- kill you!'." [Yahoo!]...
Deadspin Field Trip – DULLES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT!
Funny story: I got to the airport this morning to fly to Minnesota (to cover tonight's game for you, esteemed reader), only to find out Gawker booked my flight for eight days from now. NIBBLES!...
And Speaking Of Winning Organizations...
The Washington Nationals held a everything-must-go! charity auction over the weekend which included autographed baseballs from the likes of Wily Mo Pena and Ray King. [NationalsEnquirer]...
Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
When Did Sportsy Wives and Girlfriends Get So Trashy? (Oh, the Mid 90s, Right)
The "English football" (f'ing soccer) team has banned the amazingly skanky wives-and-girlfriends club from hogging all the 2010 World Cup attention. America doesn't have the Posh Spice nightmare syndrome as bad—yet. But we're working on it....
Awesome Videos Of Animals Playing Sports
Animals are just like us....except they're not. That's why it's hilarious when they act like humans. Seriously, what are they thinking!? Here's a completely random collection of adorable animals adorably playing human sports. Because it's Saturday and you love it.......
But How Can He Talk To The Cops If His Jaw Is Broken?
The Raiders' assistant who was (allegedly) cracked by Tom Cable is now going to talk to the police, since he's determined that his career with the Raiders is probably now over. He's quick. [National Football Post]...
Tom Cable Denies Breaking His Assistant's Jaw, Players Rejoice Anyway
Tom Cable says no punches were thrown, but given the reaction to the non-incident by some Raiders, that seems a little suspicious. [ESPN/PFT]...
Raiders Already In Mid-Season Form
Word out of the group home known as Raiders training camp is that first-year head coach Tom Cable recently punched an assistant coach, fracturing his jaw and putting Oakland at least a month ahead of schedule for its annual meltdown....
Why Your Team Sucks: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
What Does The NFL Shop Know That We Don't?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Vancouver Wary Of MMA "Gangsters"
This is the best news lede of the month: "The potential for an Ultimate Fighting Championship event to draw undesirable gangsters to downtown Vancouver is real, say police." So should we just hand over our wallets and women now?...
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
And Here's The Front Page Of Tomorrow's <em>New York Post</em>
Amazingly, Busted Coverage's ridiculous giant penis-wielding bachelorette story was completely true. This photo tells the tale: the daring lass staring down the determined Tahoe sheriff as Michael Jordan cautiously avoids a messy inflatable dong confrontation. Yay America....
Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis
Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder....
And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis
I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard....