abl Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Everyone Hates The Yankees ... Except For Stephen A.
So the Yankees back up a dump truck and cover Mark Teixeira with money, causing former Baseball Commissioner Bowie Kuhn to start whirling dirvishly in his grave. Here's some further reaction:...

Last Minute Christmas Gift Ideas For The Lazy And Insane
Christmas is two days away and you've done zero shopping; nice going, jerk. Fortunately it's not too late to surprise the kids with Inflatable Ben Wallace, the basketball defender aide....

Anonymous Anti-Weis Source Hints That Ditching The Ineffective Coach Is Possible
$4.5 million. That's what the Chicago Tribune's Notre Dame source says it would take to get rid of Charlie Weis after four seasons. Even though there's been no indication from ND's athletic director that he'll be booted, it appears some of the influential alumni members are ready to move on. The Tri...

What's Cuter Than A Mascot Holding A Box Of Kittens?
Those feisty folks at PETA are at it again. This week's target of their ire? The Denver Nuggets. Apparently the Nuggets involved a few live animals during a game and the animal rights organization is none too pleased, calling for action on their website. ...

Mike Mussina Calls It A Career
It hasn't been officially announced yet, but Ken Rosenthal is reporting that Mike Mussina will retire this week, ending an 18-year major league career. He pitched in 538 games for the Orioles and Yankees, appeared on five all-stars teams and in 16 postseason series, including 2 World Series, yet if ...

Today's Drunken Ping Pong Karaoke Peeing Incident Brought To You By China
This story has it all: Ping Pong, drunken urination, karakoe, and of course at the center of it all a man named Wang Hao. Wang, who is China's most famed table tennis player, was involved in an altercation with a security guard on Thursday when the guard tried to stop him from urinating outside of a...

Blue Is the Colour, Football Is the Game
We've had to wait since May's epic Champions League Final but the time has finally come for the Blues of Chelsea to take on the Red Devils of Manchester United. Holy crap, I'm all tingly. Obviously I'm a bit of a homer for Chelsea, which is why I won't be live blogging the contest. That and I'll be...

U.S. Open Update: Scratching Your Djokovic
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin. It's called "Droppin' Deuce With Dylan Stableford." Last night's heavyweight card at the U.S. Open—the best of this year's tourney by far—didn't disappoint. In a battle of big ball smackers with, as we've pointed out numerous times,inc...

U.S. Open Update: Ivanovic Out, But Hot Girlfriend Boxes Intact
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin. It's called "Droppin' Deuce With Dylan Stableford." This week, he's at the U.S. Open, watching tennis and taking creepy pictures of Brooklyn Decker from afar. Heading into the first weekend of the Flushing fortnight, we've lost one sult...

Quiet, Please: U.S. Open Preview
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin. It's called "Droppin' Deuce With Dylan Stableford." It's that time of year again. A time when swaths of Serbians, blistering backhands, awkward celebrity interviews and nimble ball boys invade Queens. A time when tennis—tennis!—takes N...

Table Tennis Needs More Fans; Solution: Women Should Dress Sexier
If only this was the answer to every world problem. Famine? Women should dress sexier. War? Women should dress sexier. You see where I'm going here. That's because I'm following the lead of Claude Bergeret—the Gandhi of ping pong. Bergeret is head of the International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF)...

Milk Mustaches and Shoulder Fingers
Now do you people see what happens when big dairy fills their cows with hormones? We get Olympic swimmers like Maritza Correia with fingers growing out of their damn shoulders. And I know that can't be good for resistance. Body By Milk via SI...

Charles Barkley Knows Not Of These 'Blogs' You Speak Of
So I was mocked repeatedly for my "interview" with Charles Barkley on Thursday, when I introduced myself and told him that I would be blogging his rounds all weekend. Yes, it somewhat resembled Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney. But I'll have you know that from that brief exchange came the ca...

Will Ivanovic, Sharapova Drop the Pretense Already And Start Making Out With Each Other?
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin in something we are now calling "Droppin' A Deuce With Dylan Stableford."...

The Off-Season Adventures of Orson Swindle
Spencer Hall (aka Orson Swindle), as part of his duties for the revamped Sporting News was sent on assignment to some sort of evil workout camp for college athletes. In addition to the typical combine style drills Spencer requested an "unconventional workout" because that's just how he rolls....

Charles Barkley Doing His Best To Ignore His Gambling Problem
"It's for charity!" That's Charles Barkley's excuse as to why, only a little more than a month removed from his on-air vow to not gamble for a "year or two", will be back at the poker tables July 2nd in the "Ante Up For Africa" tournament. ("It's for charity!")...

The Deadspin Editor Search Continues
So, several people have asked why I've been silent on Will's announced departure from Deadspin (if my mailman can be considered "several people"). Well, it's simple. I maintain that he's not leaving. You see, it's all an elaborate hoax, perpetrated by the same folks who faked the moon landing and bu...

Previewing the Running of the Horses
The Preakness Stakes is finally upon us and Maryland students couldn't be more eager to get fucked up in celebration (it's not a real party without Scott Van Pelt). Since I know incredibly little about horse racing, I've turned to Randy, a lover of both equines and Deadspin. His words are after the ...

Ah, The Cultural Rewards Of Major League Baseball
The life of a Japanese player, when assimilated into a Major League Baseball clubhouse, can be difficult. You have to learn parts of other languages, deal with cultural differences you hadn't anticipated and, mostly, deal with the odd duck that is Jonathan Papelbon....

Soccer. Balls.
For those lukewarm soccer enthusiasts who contend that more public nudity would greatly improve Europe's favorite foot-oriented sporting event, this is somewhat fantastic news. Recently, "more than 1,800 men and women have posed nude for US photographer Spencer Tunick in Vienna's Ernst Happel stadi...