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Parents Of Armless, Legless Aspiring Cheerleader Claim "Scoring Errors" Kept Her Off The Squad
If what the Omaha World-Herald says is true, 16-year-old Julia Sullivan "likes to dance [and] wants to get people excited for games." Following those passions, she tried out to join her friends on the cheerleading squad not once, not twice, but three times....

Awaiting the ESPYs, But (Still) Missing Norm MacDonald
It's the Wednesday after the MLB All-Star Game, which means if the Triple-A All-Star Game isn't your bag, your only other "sports" programming option for the evening is the ESPYs. Seth Meyers is hosting, but don't count on the gags to be nearly as subversive as some at the WWL will have you believe...

Deadspin Gives Back
It was through tipster Len G.'s "newest favorite billboard in New Orleans" that we met da Gonorrhea BREAKER, da Crabs ASSASSIN, da Chlamydia CRUSHER, da HIV Awareness ENFORCER, Lady STD KILLA, da Condom FATHER, da Trich TERMINATOR, da Syphilis ELIMINATOR, da Herpes HIT WOMAN and da HPV SLAPPER....

Duchess Kate Is The Future Queen Of Mutton Bustin'
Here are the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge surveying the remains of empire at the Calgary Stampede. The Duchess, according to the indispensable (and endearingly capitalized) official website of The British Monarchy, "is a keen sportswoman, and has been involved in many different sports over the year...

Bud Selig Thinks This Is The Last Year For The Playoffs As We Know Them
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Commish is ready for change....

Ryan Howard's RBI Total Does Not Make Him The Greatest Baseball Player In The Universe, Bill Conlin
Bill Conlin wrote something dumb today. In other news, the sun rose in the east. But we're not going to go after Bill Conlin, because it's been done. Instead we're going to try and put in the simplest terms possible why he and anyone else rejecting advanced statistics out of hand are being willfully...

Stare At Colin Cowherd For A While, For A Good Cause
Here is how we know ESPN hates people with cancer: if you want to donate money to The V Foundation, you're forced to hang out with the likes of Colin Cowherd and Mike & Mike....

Heath Bell Is A Crazy Person
Your morning roundup for July 13, the day we met, and then ran away from, Magnet Boy....

Deadspin Classic: And Now A Selection From Tim McCarver's <em>Great American Songbook</em>, Remixed
Tim McCarver spent the evening talking on your television. Now let him sing you to sleep. Originally published Nov. 13, 2009....

If You Want To Call Jose Canseco, His Number Is 818-903-6598
So says the Miami New Times, anyway. Do it, if you have the patience!...

Your MLB All-Star Game Open Thread
The game counts, as does this thread. So what if so many selected players have bailed on the competition—including Jeter? You've got Craig Kimbrel and Jonny Venters and Aaron Crow and Ricky Romero. The players you'll tell your grandkids you saw....

Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...

Hope Solo: "We'll Be Bringing Home The Cup"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the a guarantee from the goalkeeper....

Weak Grounder To Second Starts Nutso Minor League Brawl
Your gladiators: the Spokane Indians and Vancouver Canadian, Class A affiliates of the Rangers and Blue Jays respectively. Your catalyst: I dunno, probably someone saying something about someone's momma....

The Marlins Give Up
Answer quickly, without looking it up: what's the name of the Marlins' stadium?...

Winner And New Heavyweight Champion Of The World, This Guy's Belly
Your morning roundup for July 12, the day we said goodbye to Stoner Avenue. Photo via BlackSportsOnline....

What To Do When You Realize That Horrible Smell Is You
Experts say that to eliminate body odor, one should stick to a diet rich in vegetables and take chlorophyll supplements and wear loose-fitting clothing and bathe regularly and always wear socks with closed-toe shoes and think only pleasant, floral thoughts. But that advice is worth fuck-all when you...

The Fan Who Caught Jeter's Ball Still Has A Few Hundred Thousand Dollars In Student Loan Debt
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Christian Lopez probably should have taken an econ class....

Bad Beats: Adrian Gonzalez Will Win Tonight's Home Run Derby
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....

The Gruesome Reason This Has Been The Best Tour De France Yet
They finally figured it out - men cycling on an open road is boring. But add some obstacles: cars, bikes, barbed wire, random spectators, all out to stop the riders by any means necessary, and we've got ourselves a sport. A living video game. Here's why we've been loving the first week of DeathFran...