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Of Ping Pong Balls And Dogfights
• A-Rod likes his balls. • Carl Monday remains unstoppable. • Clinton Portis likes it when dogs fight. • Dan Shanoff live blogged the draft lottery, and it was not a happy night for Celtics fans. • AJ Hawk will be more careful about wedding photographers in the future. • NBC switches from playoff ov...
If Donnie Calls, Tell Him If It Was Gonna Be Anyone, We're Glad It Was Him
Forget about it is like, if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it! You know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mi...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as all the clocks slowly begin to melt ... • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. This one decides the series! Let's go! (Shotgun!). [ESPN] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta [TBS]; Chicago Cubs as San Diego. Considering the weather, the Cubs just may stay. [WGN] • Boxing: Women's, junior wel...
Shane Victorino And His Skirt Can Be On Your Dashboard
Pity poor Shane Victorino. The Phillies outfielder/journeyman is being honored with his own figurine at a Phillies game on June 3, which has to be a thrill for any major league baseball player. (It was certainly a thrill for Mr. Celery!) Why Shane Victorino? Well, he's Hawaiian, and that makes him u...
The Real Tragedy Is That My Cell Phone Was In There
Well, if your golf cart has to plunge off of a gigantic cliff with you in it, we suppose it might as well be in Fallbrook, Calif....
Well, We Suppose This Ruins Pitino's Master Plan
Yes, friends, it is a sad day in Celtics land. (It's a sad day in Grizzlies land too, but nobody cares about the Grizzlies.) All the hopes and dreams of Bill Simmons — who should have plenty to write about over the next five years — and those Golden Tee-playing Boston fans went up in a poof of lotte...
Yet Another Great Reason To Live In Portland
Before we talk about the disappointment of all the teams who didn't win the first or second pick in last night's NBA Draft Lottery, let's look at the team that did win, the Portland Trail Blazers. (The official favorite team of Henry Abbott at True Hoop, who was at the lottery last night and, amusin...
Live Blogging The Recitation Of Team Names
It's rare that the landscape of the NBA can change so dramatically in one night, but tonight it definitely one of those nights. Fittingly, it has nothing to do with an increasingly meandering playoffs....
How To Make Love To That Team's Biggest Fan
In one of those perfect ideas that make the Internets such a blessing on our daily lives, Every Day Should Be Saturday and Ladies ... have come up a guide to seducing a particular team's fan. Want to know how to bed that Cardinals fan? What do you say to a Knicks fan to sneak 'em in the sack? How do...
Time For The Drama Of Postage Being Opened
Tonight's the NBA Draft Lottery, which, if you've watched the last half of the season, you know is the most important night of the past 365 days for half the teams in the league. Which is depressing, but whatever....
AJ Hawk Has Brady Quinn's Back
Last week, we published some rather unusual photos of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn and the wedding of his sister and Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk. Well, Hawk spoke this weekend about the photos and he isn't too happy....
This Looks Like Our Prom Picture
• ESPN Mobile is indestructible. • Eric Mangini, trying to grapple with the Pats. • Brady Quinn, DANCIN'. • Ken Griffey Jr., having some fun with hecklers. • That whole suspension thing kind of mucked matters up. • It's Arena Football Day in Bristol! • Do not cheat if you're fishing. • Charming , La...
You're 32 Years Old, And You've Achieved Nothing. Jesus Christ Was Dead And Alive Again By 33. You Better Get Crackin'.
Think of it as a hobby. Something you do to relax. You're an "assassination enthusiast."...
Interleague Play Is Back, If Anybody Notices Anymore
We've never had a major problem with interleague play. It's possible this is because our Cardinals get to play the Royals six times a year — and boy could we use the help — but mostly, it's because the game has been so twisted and pretzeled over the last decade that, hey, what's one more switch? Peo...
Naked People Are Funny
Nothing beats a good streaker, kids, particularly when it's a Philadelphia streaker. And we're not particularly envious of that usher either....
That's Not How Personal Training Typically Works
The Arena Football League is full of happy success stories. Kurt Warner. That weird video game that's oddly fun to play. Jon Bon Jovi. And now, to add to the list, the high school coaching adventures of Tom Porras, a former AFL quarterback. He was fired last week as track coach (and "personal traine...
About Last Night ...
What you missed after the knitting accident ... • NHL: Over? Did you say over? Nothing's over until we decide it is! Sabres 3, Senators 2. • NBA: Not many people happy with David Stern right now. Spurs 88, Suns 85. • MLB: John Lackey is the wind beneath our wings. Angels 5, Mariners 0....
Brady Quinn, Always With The Hetero Photos
Last March, Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk married Laura Quinn, whom you might remember as the double-jerseyed sister of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn....
The New (Old) Mind Behind US Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Big Unit Is Back In Stock! (Please Allow 14 Business Days For Shipping)
Notes from a day in baseball:...