and Page 1158 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Got Nuttin But Love For You, Baby
I was planning on posting pics of Josh Scobee's shaved scrotum and Dwyane Wade's right-ass cheek, but The Mighty MJD sort of beat me to it. Instead, I offer this odd little video of Track and Field asses set to the musical beats of Heavy D & the Boyz's Nuttin But Love....
Erin Andrews Hates It When Married Athletes Ask Her Out
Erin Andrews wants you to know she's smart. OK? She is. She's not just the sexy blond you see in these photos. As she tells the Atlanta Journal-Constitution,...
A Year From Now, Art Shell Will Be Wearing A Santa Suit In A Mall
I know that the appropriate thing to do here is to make a hateful comment towards the NFL Network, but you know what? I get the NFL Network. The NFL Network and me are on pretty good terms....
Please Do Not Reveal The Surprise Ending Of The Asian Games
You know that Indian athlete whom you thought had won the women's silver medal in the 800 meters at the Asian Games? The one you kind of have a crush on? Well, how can we put this delicately? She actually keeps her toilet seat in the locked and upright position. Um, she never saw Steel Magnolias, ...
It Never Rains Might Rain In Southern California
The Chiefs take the field tonight with heavy hearts; team owner Lamar Hunt having passed away earlier in the week. I don't know if Lamar gets to control such things wherever he is, but the San Diego forecast calls for high winds and a chance for rain. That probably benefits the Chiefs and their po...
The Ryan Leaf Movie Will Probably Be Just Like "Brian's Song"
What you just saw was the trailer for Leaf: An Almost True Story. I read the article at Football Outsiders three times to convince myself that this wasn't a joke. But it's not. Leaf: An Almost True Story is happening sometime next year....
God, The Full Monty, And You
In Western religion, most of us figure that God has already seen us naked on multiple occasions. And he ain't that impressed. Just look at Exodus 19:21 for proof: "And the Lord said unto Moses, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the Lord to gaze, and many of them perish. But ...
Our Interview With John Rocker
Two days before Thanksgiving, at Local 138, one of our favorite watering holes in New York City, we sat down with, of all people, famed immigration expert John Rocker, and talked for about an hour. Really. We did this. See? Sometimes we interview people....
The Dance Craze That's SWEEPING THE NATION
We'd like to thank Mister Irrelevant for introducing our Meat Loaf-loving asses to the dance craze that's sweeping dorm rooms across the country: It's "Da Heizman On Dat Ho," a Heisman Trophy-inspired ditty and rompstomp that all the kids are doing. We think this is a dance we are capable of doing; ...
Careful: That Punter Will Go For The Nuts
It has been a felonious year for backup punters. There was, of course, the famous leg-stabbing punter of Northern Colorado, and now we have Kyle Keown, punter for Vanderbilt who got himself in all kinds of trouble last week....
It's Sleepy Football Night In America
We try to recap each weeknight game the morning after around here, because weekday games are rare and often are the talk of the "water cooler" around "the office" with one's "co-workers." Unfortunately, last night's Steelers-Browns tilt was, well, a completely shellacking that was over early and in ...
Well, It's Not That Big A Deal If You Miss This One
This, it's safe to say, is not one of those night when we're banging our head against the wall for not having the NFL Network. (We're far more concerned about missing the Rutgers bowl game.) The Steelers and the Browns, two teams long since removed from the playoff picture, go head to head tonight, ...
East Coast Mascot Hostilities Show No Signs Of Abating
Karma's a bitch, especially for costumed Ram mascots. University of Rhode Island mascot Rhody Ram learned that over the weekend, when he was assaulted outside of a restroom at a college basketball game. You may recall another, older, incident involving Rhody from the video above, in which the mascot...
Watch Your Beer Around Carl Lewis
The first time we ever remember hearing about steroids, as far as we can recollect, was Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson, a guilty finding made all the more hilarious because he's Canadian. (Kind of.) Well, over the weekend, Johnson revealed that he has finally, 18 years later, figured out who famously...
Barry Zito Talks To Seals
I'd have bet that something called "At Home, with Lisa Guerrero" would've been softcore porn, but it's not. The former Monday Night Football sideline reporter has a TV show somewhere in which she visits people in their homes and does friendly little features on them. Here, she visits Barry Zito....
Free Mikey
The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man returning soup at a deli....
Vancouver Ready To Welcome More Weird-Ass Olympic Events
We had a crazy dream last night. The IOC was making up Winter Olympic sports, and approving them in their meeting in Kuwait City. Yeah we know, off the wall. But ... huh? You're kidding. Skicross?...
The Case Against Brunch Mavens Coaching NFL Teams
You know, it turns out that seeking out your top offensive minds from Idahoans accustomed to making waffles and pouring orange juice down the gullets of nostalgia-seeking tourists isn't the best way to run a football team....
That Smudge On Your Floor? That's The Big Ten
You know, new Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson isn't known as a disciplinarian in the way that Bob Knight is, but, jeez, he sure does make his players do some pretty publicly humiliating things to their teammates when they lose on national television, doesn't he?...
Brandon Jacobs Is Not Impressed With The Titans
We admire Giants touchdown sponge Brandon Jacobs, not only because he went to Southern Illinois, but because he's making every person we know who drafted Tiki Barber in fantasy football want to kill themselves. (Barber still has one touchdown this year.) We admire him because he's a rookie second-...