as Page 2033 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Connecticut Man Ordered To Publicly Apologize To Whale Mascot
Kevin O'Connell got drunk and went to the Connecticut Whale minor-league hockey game on Jan. 28. When he got there, he tackled and punched team mascot Pucky the Whale, who was greeting child fans. In court a few days later, he said he did so because of a bet....
Rinku And Dinesh Are Coming To A Crappy Disney Movie Near You
Disney has hired screenwriter Tom McCarthy to write the script for "Million Dollar Arm," the inspiring story of two young Indian men who won a reality show and then got signed by the most miserable team in the major leagues. Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel requested in 2009 that we not equate their sto...
We Are All Dave McKenna VIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets a proper defenestration. Today's topic: Dan Snyder is a self-defeatingly petulant shit....
This Pink Nightmare Is An Actual Hockey Jersey
The ECHL's Alaska Aces will suit up Sunday night in this Valentine's Day nightie jersey. Remember kids, pink is an acceptable uniform color only if you're fighting breast cancer, or are Bret "The Hitman" Hart....
HS Hoops Team Gets Its Racist Coach Suspended
Last night, Emma brought you the sorry tale of Jason Popp, whose 15-0 Richmond Heights High School boys' basketball team was trying to overthrow him since he regularly called them the n-word....
Dan Snyder Is So Awful People Will Pay For Vanity License Plates To Insult Him
For when a bumper sticker is not enough, the people of The District have found a new venue to publicly display their shared hatred for everyone's favorite petulant shit, Dan Snyder. Does Dave McKenna drive a Jeep?...
There's A 14-Year-Old In Canada With A 39-Inch Vertical Leap
This young man is Jamar Ergas. He is in the eighth grade and can pull off a 360-degree dunk. Ergas will enter the ninth grade at Christian Faith Center Academy in Creedmore, N.C. next year and, barring any rule changes, will play one season of college basketball somewhere around the year 2015....
Listen To Jim Gray's Awful Super Bowl Sign-Off
Jim Gray delivered the Super Bowl sign-off for Westwood One Radio. It was already quite the piece of work, but adding the "Rudy" theme song really just brought it to another level....
HS Baseball Coach Cuts Double-Amputee Pitcher; Quickly Becomes Worst Human Ever
This young man is Anthony Burruto, a sophomore at Dr. Phillips High School in Orlando and an aspiring pitcher. Burruto was born without a shinbone in his left leg and without a fibula in his right, and doctors amputated his lower legs when he was just a baby. He's been playing baseball since he was ...
We Are All Dave McKenna VII
Have you read Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder" yet? You should. We'll be linking to it every day until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is thrown to the dogs. Today's topics: Dan Snyder — petulant shit, rough talker, lapsed free-speech warrior....
Here's The Crazy 4-Point Play That Ended The Villanova-Rutgers Game
After trading threes in the final minute, Rutgers senior Jonathan Mitchell converted a four-point play and the unranked Scarlet Knights knocked off No. 10 Villanova, 77-76. Impressive, but worthy of the storming of the court? I always lose track of the rules....
Zurich Soccer Fans Are Enthralled By Gene Simmons's Tongue
Your morning roundup for Feb. 10, the day we regretted the harm our actions have caused our family, our staff, and our constituents....
"Dear Pathetic, Ignorant Twats": The Duke/UNC War Of Words Heats Up
It's an annual tradition for the editors of the Duke Chronicle and the Daily Tar Heel to exchange trash talk letters in advance of their schools' first matchup of the season. We got them both, and boy, do the young minds of Tobacco Road have a way with words....
We Are All Dave McKenna VI
This is Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets tossed into the Potomac. Today's topics: the Redskins' top PR guy covering himself in stupid, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....
Beer Commercials' Real Target Audience
Tom Scocca explains that all-male, groin-punch-infested beer ads are designed not for adults but teenage boys. Apparently, boys go to great lengths to procure beer. Who knew? But Scocca, like us all, still can't comprehend the Pepsi Max spots. [Slate]...
HS Hoops Team May Boycott Its Racist Coach
At Richmond Heights High School in Cleveland, the boys' basketball team has started the season undefeated, at 15-0. But earlier this week, the players and their parents came together to attempt to unseat their coach, Jason Popp, as he allegedly calls them the n-word on a regular basis....
The Man In The Orange Suit Could Not Believe His Eyes
Your morning roundup for Feb. 9, the day we realized we'd developed a dangerous addiction to Hint Of Lime Tostito chips....
NHL Hall-Of-Famer Gets A Little Handsy
Paul Coffey misses the camaraderie of the NHL. We really hope that's the explanation for this....
We Are All Dave McKenna V
Presenting, once again, Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets laughed out of court. Today's topics: Baja Fresh, propaganda, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....
There Is An Army Of Senior Citizens Spying On Kansas Athletes
A volunteer army, with code names like "Red Dog," roams the halls of KU, making sure the athletes actually attend class. Don't fuck with them. They lived through The Big One....