aw Page 445 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
So here is the final FAILgate for this year, replete with a voting poll where you, Deadspin nation, will get to decide which lucky individual walks home with the coveted "Deadspin Prize Pack."...

Matt D'Agostini Got Knocked The Fuggout
Chicago Blackhawks Andrew Ladd absolutely leveled Montreal Canadiens right winger Matt D'Agostini early in last night's 3-2 Chicago victory. More talk about head shots! Whee!...

Rock ChalkInk Jayhawk
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Soon We'll Just Make Him Attorney General
A new team, a new jurisdiction; Shaq has applied to become a deputy sheriff in Cleveland. This shows me he's entirely unfamiliar with the city, which was long ago abandoned to lawlessness. [AP]...

Sean Salisbury's Lawsuit
It has arrived. The suit says Deadspin has cost Mr. Salisbury money, future employment, and mental stability due to its repeated malicious attacks, which Salisbury himself noted several times via his iPhone meltdown last month. All aboard....

Searching For Jose Lima: Next Stop...Dominican Republic
Lost in all the chaos of last week was the news that our half-assed search for Jose Lima at the behest of his ex-wife Melissa, may have actually proved successful. Lima Time is currently taking place for the Águilas Cibaeñas...

Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....

Bob Griese Adds A Little Spice (Probably Cumin) To Ohio State-Minnesota Broadcast
You guys have been lighting up the tips box reporting how Bob Griese made a completely ignorant statement regarding Juan Pablo Montoya, and given the amount of people stating they heard it, it has to be true....

And Now There's This: Sean Salisbury Really Is Suing Us
Sean Salisbury has made good on his promise and filed a defamation lawsuit in Texas against Gawker Media. His attorney tells the Frisco Enterprise that we've waged a "long-running smear campaign" against his client....

Fans, Media Recruited (And Manipulated) In Fight Over Televised Sports (Updated)
Some media outlets want you to rage against a new lobbying organization that claims to represent sports fans, but is actually a front for satellite companies looking to destroy cable TV sports. But who is really manipulating who here?...

Cheddar Plax Jokes Get NYPD In Hot Water
You shoot yourself in the leg, people are going to say you pulled a Plaxico. Sorry, that's how it is. But one teen is suing the cops for making just that obvious joke....

Old People Who Love 20-Year-Old Boys
Looks like this guy has competition for the old person most devoted to their team; a 71-year-old woman refused to call the hospital after breaking her hip until the Iowa game ended. [KCRG]...

Cranky Old Man Goes Mike Tyson On Neighbors
When the local kids' football landed in his yard, a Michigan man reacted as any of us would: he bit one of their dads on the face. [Sports Rubbish]...

Steve Phillips Suspended After Affair With ESPN Employee
Reports out of ESPN headquarters this morning say that "Baseball Tonight" analyst Steve Phillips is on a "leave of absence," after an affair with a 22-year-old production assistant turned into a special edition DVD release of Fatal Attraction. [Updates below.]...

Awful Umpiring: The Human Element, They Said
Is this the worst postseason umpiring we've seen since Eric Gregg and Livan Hernandez?...

God Bless Ronan Tynan’s Anti-Semitism
If you're heading to Yankee Stadium for Game 1 of the ALCS tonight, you can forget about hearing Ronan Tynan sing "God Bless America" during the seventh inning. Know why? Because he hates Jews! WOOHOO!...

The True American Way To Ball Hawk: Sue
The Happy Youngster might be on his way to law school after reading this one; a Miami family has forced the Phillies to return a home run ball by threat of a lawsuit. America!...

Hawkeye Goes From Fan To Fanatic To Psychotic
At first this reads like the further pussification of sports, where a fan gets arrested for heckling a player. But it quickly takes a turn into Annie Wilkes territory....

Alabama Father Pleased Daughter's Domestic Dispute Won't Interfere With Football Season
Alabama linebacker Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend both agreed to dismiss charges filed against the other after a lover's spat this summer. No one is more excited about this than the girl's father who exited the courthouse shouting, "Roll Tide!"...

Arizona's Puss-Devil Bologna Man
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...