aw Page 446 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Trouble In Lawrence, Morningstar Suspended
Already on high alert after last week's fight between the football and basketball teams, Kansas coach Bill Self waisted little time suspending Brady Morningstar after the starting guard's DWI arrest. [ESPN, Image]...
Shawn Chacon Even Worse At Gambling Than He Was At Pitching
Las Vegas authorities have issued an arrest warrant for former Astro Shawn Chacon, after he allegedly passed $150,000 worth of bad checks at Caesar's Palace. Even worse, he always tries to split face cards. [Las Vegas Sun]...
September: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from September, ranked low to high....
A DeShawn Stevenson Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
The Wizards guard spent the offseason getting a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. (It's like redefining the "neckbeard.") He also got a backward Pirates logo on his face. I'm sure it made sense at the time. [WashTimes/TruthAboutIt]...
"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....
Rookie's First Big League Memory Held For Ransom
You've heard stories about ballhawks, those unwieldy characters who scoop up milestone home run balls only to hold them for ransom from the players who hit them. This is one of those tales....
UFC President Pretty Excited To See Herschel Walker Fight
Dana White: "Who the f**k are they going to find to fight Herschel Walker? A guy in a wheelchair?..The geniuses over at Showtime are the most arrogant, cocky, pompous jackasses I've ever met." [FanHouse]...
And After He Took The Shot, He Beat The Crap Out Of Both Of Them
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
NFL Highlight Of The Week: Frank Gore's 80-Yard Gallop
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....
The Bleeding Kansas Athletic Department (UPDATE)
Jayhawk guard Tyshawn Taylor suffered a dislocated thumb during a brawl between KU basketball and football players in front of the student union. I bet the dispute had something to do with evolution....
No Autographs, Please. Mr. Hellraiser Has A Plane To Catch
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The Cubs Cannot Be Sold Until Shawon Dunston Takes Freshman Lit
"Looks like everything is running smoothly with the sale of the Cubs. Let's just finalize everything with your signature here, and...hold on, what's this? A retired journeyman shortstop never went to college?"...
Yankees More Than Willing To Employ Crazy Old Men
Senior citizens are suing the Bombers for age discrimination after one was asked in a job interview, "What could someone 73 years old offer the Yankees?" I don't know...lunatic micromanagement and a Dave Winfield blackmail file? [NYPost]...
Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....
In A Time Of Mourning, Our Nation Turns Its Eyes To Jair Jurrjens
Earlier this summer, as you already know, pop culture icons Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died on the same day in a tragic and unexpected murder suicide....
The Jehovah's Witnesses Are Unhappy With Fellow Witness Serena Williams
"Furthering the teaching that Judgments are only for those outside the Organization, Serena Williams threatened a line judge with a dose of Jehovah's Witness authority yesterday. Her comments were blasphemous, having been used in connection with 'God.'" [Jehovahs-Witness.net]...
FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob
It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest....
Charles Barkley Actually Makes Pretty Good Point About Shawne Merriman
If there's one thing Sir Charles knows, its where to pick up classy women. His advice to Merriman: "Dude, you're one of the best football players in the world; don't get your women off of reality TV" [Sports By Brooks]...
Derrick Mason's Response To Keyshawn's Raven-Bashing: "You're The Bum!" (UPDATE)
Gifted trash talkers as they are, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter's insults do not always prove true. After shitting all over Baltimore's offense by calling Joe Flacco "a bum," the Ravens exploded Sunday and fired back at the analysts....