booze Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Blotto Teenage Brewers Fan Soils Himself And Falls Down Stairs At Miller Park
A few years back, the New York Times had a piece about Wisconsin's drinking problem. "When it comes to drinking, it seems, no state keeps pace with Wisconsin," they wrote. It was bad, they said, in large part because Wisconsin bars and restaurants allow minors to drink in the presence of parents o...
We've Found The Lass Responsible For The Lone Amstel Light On The Bruins' $156,000 Bar Tab
When the Bruins threw down with an epic body count at their Stanley Cup celebrations at Foxwoods, the world was drawn not to the six-figure bottle of champagne: Armand de Brignac is so played out. Instead it was the solo Amstel Light, a beacon of moderation and taste in a storm of crapulence. ...
The Search For The Pisswater-Drinking Boston Bruin Is On
On the Bruins' epic bar tab from Foxwoods, there lies a lone Amstel Light. Who ordered it? Why? The world may never know. But Amstel is offering that player free beer if he steps forward....
Hungover Portlanders Rise From Their Organic Granola To Respond To Us
Here's Stumptown Footy's full post. To which we say: dude....
Portland Fans Are Too Hung Over To Cheer Properly
The surest sign that it was a good idea to give Portland an MLS franchise: their fans already have a collective drinking problem. The supporters group is turning teetotaler to keep from embarrassing itself again....
Today In "You Don't Fucking Say"
Headline on a story that checked in at 1,655 words and required the contributions of 10 Associated Press reporters: "Drinking linked to problems in the ballpark stands." [AP]...
Jon Lester And Clay Buchholz Are The Latest Red Sox To Launch Charity Wines With Incredibly Dumb Names
Taking money from drunk Red Sox fans and giving it to cancer patients is a cause anyone can get behind (except perhaps liver cancer patients). Meeting with less approbation and more smirking are the names Longball Cellars has been slapping on its athlete-endorsed charity wine bottles. Jon Lester and...
Cartoon Jason Witten Says Don't Drink And Drive, Do Read <em>Archie</em>
Kids! Don't drive drunk. Also don't drink underage. These are valuable messages, and what better way to get the message across than the two things today's youths love more than anything: Archie Comics and Jason Witten....
Sports Fans Are All A Bunch Of Drunks
A new study shows that eight percent of sports fans are legally drunk when they leave the game. This comes as a great disappointment to public safety officials, as well as beer distributors. Just eight percent?...
Vikings Fans: Enjoy Joe Webb, No Guaranteed Seating, And No Booze
How many Minnesotans are wondering if they can just cancel the season now? Monday's game at TCF Bank Stadium will be "first-come, first-serve" and there will be no alcohol sold. Also, terrible football. [Pioneer Press]...
Unfortunately, Jameson Does Not Come In Juice Box Form. Yet.
This image, a screen-grab of veteran character actor Tommy Flanagan enjoying a Jameson booze box during this week's season finale of Sons of Anarchy is causing a relative stir, in part because such a booze box cannot be purchased....
How To Make Your Own Four Loko
The FDA is going to ban caffeinated malt liquor beverages very soon. Gone will be Joose and gone will be our precious, disgusting Four Loko. Luckily, you will be prepared for the 21st century prohibition with this helpful video....
NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing....
The Best Night Of The Week To Get Piss Drunk
It’s Friday. A glorious weekend of drinking awaits you. You can hardly wait. It’s not five yet, but you yearn to break free of work NOW and drench yourself head to toe in pure Thunderbird....
Mets To Be Rescued By The Power Of Booze And Mr. Celery?
Long Island Booze Baron Martin Silver is riding to the rescue to buy the New York Mets, whom he's sure are broke, so that they "don't fall into the wrong hands." Like, with someone who doesn't taunt people with poultry?...
Introducing The Booze Sandwich
So, young Americans, what's your preferred technique for sneaking booze into sporting events? In this day of increased security, one must expand one's horizons and think, as they say, outside the cardboard parallelogram. Witness these enterprising gentlemen and their successful attempt to booze up t...