br Page 996 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yes, She Should Fit Right In With The Dawg Pound
Via ESPN's Draft Blog and Hardaway Hates Pittsburgh, we present the aunt of new Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas....
Nothing Beats A Toupee Mullet
A story we've been wanting to write for sometime involves the sad plight of the toupee maker. We don't know anyone under the age of 40 who would ever wear a toupee again; these days, it's easier just to shave it. Nobody minds, everyone understands, it even looks kind of cool. But there are hundreds ...
Behold, The Power Of Beer
You scoffed when Brewers' fans predicted big things for their team this season. But then they rolled out the Mighty 12-Person Beer Bong, and, well, who's laughing now, bitches?...
Corpse Of Steinbrenner Still Has Employees Who Use Fax Machines
Look out, Yankees! George Steinbrenner is filing some strongly worded memos!...
You Can't Stop Barbaro, You Can Only Hope To Put Him Down
Expect, in the next week, Madison Square Garden to be haunted by the ghost of a rather pissed Barbaro; the overtime in the Rangers-Sabres game yesterday caused the Barbaro documentary to be postponed and rescheduled for the vastly unworthy CNBC this Friday. Jeez, why don't you just put the damned th...
Just 363 Days Until The Next NFL Draft!
Like most football fans, we watched the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday. We were excited at the beginning, fooling ourselves into believing the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours could be a scintillating experience, and watching Brady Quinn lose millions of dollars e...
Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....
The Miami Branch Of The Ted Ginn Jr. Fan Club Is Struggling
Sticking with the Brady Quinn theme for a second (I can't help it, he's just so damned handsome), that's a Dolphins fan reacting to the Fish not selecting Brady Quinn yesterday. It's nothing personal, of course, Tedy Ginn....
Checking In On Brady Quinn's Finances
If Brady Quinn hadn't already signed that endorsement deal with Hummer, the poor guy might not be able to afford one (I can't find YouTube of that commercial, but I've seen it on ESPN.com about 18 times this weekend ... if you're looking for reasons to hate Brady Quinn, I can't recommend it highly e...
Because We Love Him, Fine, We'll Do One More
With the 22nd pick of the NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
The Broncos Make A Little Move For Jarvis Moss
With the 17th pick in the NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos select Jarvis Moss, DL, Florida. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
I Can't Imagine What Joe Thomas Did To These People
This video comes from The FanHouse's Enrico Campitelli, who's at the draft today. I just love watching the emotions change here; you can almost see their internal monologue. "What's going to happen, what should do I do? Left tackle? That doesn't mean much to me, but OHHHHHH! OHHHHHHHH! OHHHHHHHHH! I...
A Blocker Named Brown For The Buzzsaw
With the 5th pick of the NFL Draft, the Buzzsaw Select Levi Brown, OL Penn State. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Lucky Joe Thomas Gets To Go To Cleveland
The Cleveland Browns, with the 3rd overall pick, take Joe Thomas, OL, Wisconsin. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Lakers Make It Just Interesting Enough To Ultimately Disappoint
In a way, we kind of agree with what Free Darko wrote in their playoff preview for us: This could end up being the one playoff series in which, if the Lakers lose, Kobe Bryant might get a pass. But he's not gonna be able to pull it off if the Lakers, you know, actually make it close. A four-game swe...
LeBron James, "Singing" And "Dancing"
We know that LeBron James is always trying to become the cool, worldwide superstar guy that everybody loves, that transcends all demographic commercial boundaries, the superhuman with a sense of humor. It's a marketing gimmick, and that's OK: As long as he entertains, we don't mind, considering he i...
Michael Bloomberg Cannot Be Bothered With Your 'Hockey'
Let it be known that Michael Bloomberg is a serious man with many important papers on his desk, and that his office has wood paneling and various brass fixtures. This leaves him little time for traditional sports wagers with other, lesser mayors....
They Just Love The Browns To The Very End
One thing we will never doubt is the intense, eternal devotion of Cleveland Browns "fans." And "eternal" is the key word: Even those about to be executed are woofing it up....
The Atlanta Braves Will Happily Separate You From Your Money
So here's a novel concept: The Atlanta Braves, trying to figure out a way to sell more tickets, are allowing fans to buy tickets on a payment plan basis. If you don't have the cash to see a game, don't worry: The Braves will finance you....
This Is A Nice Little Sunday Night, Yes?
Phil Jackson was right. It was hard out there for a pimp, and it was also pretty hard out there for any Los Angeles Laker not named Kobe Bryant to touch the goddamn basketball down the stretch of that game. I think Sasha Vujacic's hands are going to be permanently frozen in the "ready to catch" posi...