br Page 997 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Maybe The Guy Just Wanted A Better Look At Edgar Renteria
A fellow named Frank Martinez was arrested and charged with interference with a professional sporting event (which is an actual crime because of Calvin Klein, evidently) and second-degree reckless endangerment after shining a high-powered flashlight into the eyes of Atlanta Braves Tim Hudson and Edg...

Lawrence Phillips Goes For Rare Triple Crown
An old George Carlin comedy routine had a good time mocking California's "Three Strikes And You're Out" policy of jailing three-time felons for life; Carlin pointed out that the writing of laws for the incarceration of our citizens should perhaps not be based in cute and funny baseball terms. But as...

Brian Urlacher Deplenished Of $100 Grand Worth Of Fluid
OK, so we'll say it: We don't find Gatorade the slightest bit replenishing. We think it mostly tastes like urine distilled through a coffee machine, but that's less to the point; when we work out, the last thing we want is a sugary thick beverage. We're working out to lose calories; why would we wan...

ESPN Turns "Douche" Into "######"
We will confess, a little bit of Paul Shirley's I'm A WRITER Who Happens To Play Basketball! schtick goes a long way. He's mostly amusing, we guess, but he has a tendency to overwrite — like we can talk — and seems a little too proud of himself from time to time. That said, he's entertaining, and we...

Bill Hall Is Smarter Than The Average Centerfielder
Back when we lived in St. Louis, we made the mistake of parking our car before a Rams game in the rooftop garage for the Gateway Arch, which is technically federal property. This was not necessarily a problem until we popped open a beer for a tiny, sad little tailgate. Within a matter of seconds, th...

Want To Boo Someone, Eagles Fans? Try The Team Accountant
See, this is what the Eagles get for naming Andy Reid's son the new team accountant. Eagles running back Brian Westbrook was owed a $3 million roster bonus this off-season, and the Eagles paid it to him... twice....

Remembering what Jackie Robinson meant, and who he was
As we prepare for Jackie Robinson Day in baseball on Sunday — the Cardinals, among other teams, are considering having every player wear No. 42, which gives us the unique opportunity of seeing David Eckstein and Brad Thompson pay tribute to Jackie — we thought we would provide our own tribute to a g...

Cleveland's Wacky Home Game In Milwaukee
As you know, thanks to all the freaking snow in Cleveland, the Indians "hosted" the Angels in Milwaukee yesterday, and Indians fans Mistake By The Lake were there. It was a bizarre afternoon all around, with the scoreboard showing Cleveland news headlines, a misplaced sausage race and, most amusingl...

Seriously, Lidge Is About To Turn The Corner
We didn't get to pay much tribute yesterday to Brad Lidge losing his closer's job already, but hey, it's never too late to show that video from the 2005 NLCS. It's OK to toss this in, it's not rubbing it in, because the Astros won that series. Right?...

Someone In The Reuters Photo Department Is Having Some Fun
Last week, the Denver Broncos held open auditions for women to join their cheerleading team. Two hundred and fifty women tried out for 34 slots. One of them was this woman....

Why The Terrorists Hate Us, Reason No. 131: The 12-Person Beer Bong
If the Milwaukee Brewers don't do one other thing in the entire future of their franchise (and there's a possibility they won't), it just doesn't matter. Their legacy is secure and we call them heroes; for they have already given us the wonder of racing sausages, and the greatness that is the 12-per...

The Final Four Open Thread
I'm afraid I won't be with you for tonight's basketball festivities — I decided to try actually watching a game without a keyboard in front of me. I don't know what that's going to be like, but I've heard it's wild....

Your NL Central "Preview"
Look, guys: We didn't pick the Cardinals! (We still think they'll win the wild card.) Yes, our flirtation with the Brewers continues; we actually picked them to win the wild card at midseason last year. So there's that....

Your NL East "Preview"
We should probably warn you: The Phillies are one of those teams we pick to win the National League East a lot. If you haven't noticed, they haven't won the NL East in a long, long time. But we're gonna try again anyway....

More Fun With Joakim Noah
Because Saturday's Final Four matchup between Florida and UCLA is a rematch of last year's national championship game, some bad blood is still stewing, or boiling, or whatever bad blood does, and UCLA fans are wanting revenge. And how does today fan fire himself for revenge? Funny PhotoShops!...

NBA Roundup: The Number 23
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Tom Jackson Might Refer To Him As A "Retard"
We've never met Brian Giles; it's possible he spends his evenings studying Proust and calculating Pi. But we doubt it. The following tidbit is from The San Diego Union-Tribune (via The Smittblog), and we're just going to reproduce it in all its glory....

NBA Roundup: Saying Goodbye To The Big 5-0
Notes on Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

From A Rote Tourney Comes A Thrilling Final Four
Of all the little traditions of college basketball, our favorite might be the cutting down of the nets. It's something unique to the game of basketball; in other sports, it's the fans who cause the on-field destruction after a victory. (And we're damn good at it too.) We do always worry a little abo...

We've Got Our Four
I asked for a game that would be close at the end, and technically, I didn't really get it. Overtime, as it turned out, was a time for beating some Tarheel ass. Georgetown trailed the entire game, managed to tie it up on a late Jonathan Wallace three, and then Carolina just decided they didn't feel...