bu Page 355 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
Robert Lewandowski Loses His Motherfucking Mind, Scores 5 Times In 9 Minutes
Robert Lewandowski came on for Bayern Munich at halftime in a match they were losing 1-0 to Wolfsburg. Five minutes and 40 seconds into his appearance, his first goal hit the back of the net. Almost exactly nine minutes later, his fifth goal did the same. This man is on fire....
Jesus Christ, Manuel Neuer, What Are You Doing?
Manuel Neuer had to be so tight standing there at midfield watching that shot, praying it wouldn’t sail into the empty net he had just ran a good 50 yards away from in a crazed and failed attempt to clear the ball. That it didn’t go in goes to show how astounding Florenzi’s wondergoal last week was....
Auburn Fan Tammy Goes Back On The Finebaum Show, Gets Mad As Hell
Auburn got stomped by LSU last weekend, which means it was time for notorious Auburn superfan Tammy to call into Paul Finebaum’s show and let off a little steam. ...
Marseille Fans Kind Of Upset With Former Player, Hang Him In Effigy
Mathieu Valbuena starred for French club Marseille for eight long, prosperous seasons before moving on to richer pastures last summer. He was their best player and the crowd favorite for many a year, and when he left for Dynamo Moscow the club retired his number. After one season in Russia, he’s bac...
Horny Bills Fans Continue To Have No Concept Of Shame
A reader sent along some photos from Sunday’s Patriots-Bills game, and we have to ask, why do Bills fans insist on utilizing their partners’ pants like dead Tauntauns?...
Bills Safety Aaron Williams Leaves In Ambulance After Injury (UPDATE)
In the third quarter of today’s game against the Patriots, Bills safety Aaron Williams suffered a serious-looking injury while attempting to tackle Julian Edelman near the end zone. Williams moved his legs and neck post-fall, then was immobilized, lifted onto a stretcher, and, after a ten minute del...
This Is The Billsiest Bills Fan
All Bills fans should strive to be as Billsy as this Bills fan. ...
God Help Us, Are The Steelers The Smartest Team In The NFL?
With 4:20 left in the first quarter of a scoreless game, Ben Roethlisberger hit Heath Miller for a touchdown on a quick turnaround route and immediately turned to his sideline and signaled to go for two. It’s the kind of left-brain peel-out the NFL has been looking for on two-point calls for years. ...
Kliff Kingsbury Clowns Bret Bielema After Texas Tech Beats Arkansas
It has not been a good year for Arkansas football and Bret Bielema. The Razorbacks came into the season ranked #18, but have since wilted. Bielema made fun of Ohio State for having an easy schedule, then his team went and lost to Toledo, the type of opponent he had just dismissed....
Aaron Burbridge Circus Catch So Good Officials Initially Called It Incomplete
Michigan State is having its way with Air Force today, and the Spartans’ Aaron Burbridge helped his team advance that lead with a phenomenal catch that needed video review to rightfully earn the six points. But, hey! The officials got it right eventually....
Tyrod Taylor's Coin-Eating Skills Are Unimpressive
Bills quarterback Tyrod Taylor had a chat with Lindsay Czarniak on ESPN Wednesday night, and as he rattled off fun facts about himself, we all learned that he accidentally ate a quarter when he was a kid. Big deal, I say....
Hulk Kick Ball Hard
You’d think by this point soccer balls would know better than to make Hulk mad but apparently not. Oh well, their loss is our gain....
Marcus Mariota Looked Fantastic
The second-worst team in football last season was blessed to open their campaign against the worst team in football. Both of them had shiny new quarterbacks, and are a year removed from flimsy, bottom-three defenses. That’s where the similarities stopped. Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota stomped on...
Cops: Man Kills Himself At Buffalo Bills Tailgate
On Saturday night, an RV lot near the Buffalo Bills’ stadium was packed full of tailgating fans preparing for the team’s first game of the season. Around 10:20 p.m., one of those fans shot and killed himself, according to police....
Bucs Fans Boo Jameis
Seems Buccaneers fans are a bit impatient, as it took all of two quarters for them to boo their new starting quarterback. ...
Dizzy Bat Ends Spectacularly For This Bills Fan
This is not a long video, but still manages to define “wait for it.” Here’s a Mario Williams jersey-clad Bills fan making the most of his morning tailgate time with a round of Dizzy Bat that ends in the most wonderful fashion....
Football Team Passes For 782 Yards, Scores 90 Points, Still Loses
Last year, the Meadville (Pa.) High School football team scored 78 points in one game while rushing for more than 600 yards and lost, 79-78, to Warren. Tonight the Bulldogs did that feat one better—by being the victor, and turning the Dubois Beavers into the sad loser in a 107-90 victory... in, obvi...
The Dixie Chicks Got A Raw Deal
In March 2003, during a show at London’s Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines had some righteous fire for then-President George W. Bush: “Just so you know, we’re on the good side with y’all. We do not want this war, this violence, and we’re ashamed that the president of the Uni...
Why Is ESPN Doing George W. Bush's Dirty Work For Him?
The ill-conceived remembrance is by now as much a 9/11 anniversary tradition as the insensitively branded 9/11 memorial tweet, but even by the degraded standards of the remember-when genre, today’s contributions by ESPN and Grantland are really out there....