c Page 7892 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 1
On 2nd and goal w/ 20 seconds to go and one timeout, Marshall's head coach elects to center the ball and kick a FG rather than go for the touchdown. Who knew Pam Ward's vagina was contagious? -Insomniac's Lounge...

We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...

Just Wake Me When It's Over
September, of course, is when baseball approaches my favorite part of the season — the end. I have no genuine qualms with the game or its fans; in fact, I can think of few more enjoyable ways to spend a sunny weekend afternoon than taking in a Greenville Drive game and enjoying moderately-overpriced...

Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...

College Games You'd Wade Through A Pile Of $#!+ To See
Only two games this weekend feature ranked opponents going head-to-head. But there are still plenty of intriguing non-conference matchups on the schedule. And you never know when a highly ranked team will shit the bed against an unworthy foe. Could Florida lose to Troy? Anything's possible now....

All of those fun little technical difficulties from last weekend have been sorted out (the difference a space bar can make!) and we're ready to go for week 2 of Hugh II: The Nedessy Continues... Please send me all of your most insightful and pithy comments to our AIM screen name, NCAA Deadspin. [The...

The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attempting to hibernate through Sunday morning. • CFB: Rutgers dispatched the Midshipmen 41-24. I wish the Marines had a football team, Ufford is the white Wes Welker.: • Boxing: Zab "Super Jew" Judah def. Edwin Vazquez in a unanimous decision. Zab survived an early headbutt th...

Thank Heavens For The NFL
• Another reason never to get excited about anything. • Mark Mangino will kill you. • Scott Van Pelt had had it up to here with your Internet garbage. • The NFL actually started its season. • Jeff Reed! • Shush, Barber. • Boy, oh boy, Michigan. • Rugby players make great dads. • Enjoy your Sunday! •...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your book is translated into Apache ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame induction ceremony, Springfield, Mass. I'm pretty sure that international coach Mirko Novosel just fondled my buttocks! [ESPN Classic] • College football: Navy at Rutgers. Come back and fight, you cowards! I'm the Sc...

Why The Radio Silence From The Cardinals?
It has been about 15 hours since the Rick Ankiel story broke, and so far, the only public comment has been Cardinals general manager Walt Jocketty's clearly confused, wha-wha-WHAT? quote of "This is the first I've heard of this; If it's true, obviously it would be very tragic, along with everything ...

Here On ... CBSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is without question our favorite. If you can actually watch this and stop yourself from saying, "You are looking LIVE! at Soldier Field in Chicago," you are a stronger person than we are....


What Kind Of Sports Bar Societal Dregs Will You Encounter During Week 1?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

He Should Have Armed Himself If He's Going To Decorate His Saloon With Our Friend
Look son, being a good shot, being quick with a pistol, that don't do no harm, but it don't mean much next to being cool-headed. A man who will keep his head and not get rattled under fire, like as not, he'll kill ya. It ain't so easy to shoot a man anyhow, especially if the son-of-a-bitch is shooti...

ESPN Hires Salisbury Upgrade
ESPN's "NFL Sunday Countdown" has tried all sorts of gimmicks to move the ratings dial up a tick, most famously hiring Rush Limbaugh to defend the long-persecuted white quarterback. But now they're trying something we wouldn't have even thought of: They're bringing in a 10-year-old....

You Broke, Dawg
• Elijah Dukes isn't a fan of the child support. [Sons Of Sam Malone] • The long, odd tale of Ohio State's kicker. [Lion In Oil] • Vote Appalachian State! [Sports By Brooks] • Nick Saban's logical next move. [Losers With Socks] • Is Derek Jeter outdated? [Bugs And Cranks] • The finest in NFL poetry....