cc Page 470 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...
Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...
It's The NFC South Pants Party
To the NFC South! We don't want to speak out of turn here, but we think the NFC South might be our least favorite division in football. There's the Saints — that's Kenny Chesney in that picture, of course — and then ... ugh....
Weekend At Barclay's
• Don't Tread What you see above are the highlights of that Tottenham/Fulham 3-3 tie that I mentioned last night. In case you couldn't tell that was the great Clint Dempsey setting up two of Fulham's goals. He was the man down on the ground who kept the ball alive for the first Fulham score on the h...
How In The Heck Will He Wash His Neck If He Doesn't Have One?
Many of us are blessed, in that we were born with all of our body parts, some of which we didn't know existed until after a rigorous workout. Occasionally you hear about someone who lost a leg, like Neil Parry, who returns from intense physical rehab to again play Division I football. But a story wh...
Blonde Women Must Really Love Soccer Jerseys
Simple. What this commercial tells me is that were I to draw the attraction of a drop dead gorgeous supermodel while wearing Axe, she'll either:...
Sclemeel! Schmeichel! Hasenfeffer Incorporated!
Taking a gander at some of Saturday's Premier League results... • Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City — Well, so much for starting off the year with four straight wins. Arsenal broke the scoreless tie with an 80th-minute goal, care of Cesc Fabregas. That's a tough loss for Man City. Their young keeper, Kasp...
Osama Bin Drinkin' Is More Like It
"Hi, it's me again sports fans. Just to prove how many different kinds of crazy we are here here in the cave, we have now called for the deaths of decadent sexpots David Beckham, Wayne Rooney and Thierry Henry. Also, Justin Timberlake and P. Diddy have been added to the list. Act now, for these eter...
Only In New Jersey, Kids
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin and PLAY Magazine about soccer....
Mia Hamm Would Never Stand for This
Strangely enough, this is only the second time Al Jazeera has made an appearance on Deadspin. Sidebar: This is one of the "related videos." Awesome....
And Miss, What Does The "P" Stand For Again?
I don't know much about soccer. I'm not going to pretend to know much about soccer. But if the masses want some Prem League recaps, they are going to get some Prem League recaps. I hope it's sufficient....
Nothing Says The EPL Like A Botched Orgy
You know, if you can't trust a soccer player to behave himself during an orgy with his teammates and prostitutes, sheesh, who can you trust?...
Trying Hard To Be Pure Of Spirit
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
German Soccer Shaving Scandal Raises Questions, Blinds Thousands
All things considered, all you folk have been on your best behavior this weekend. Which makes it all the more difficult to ruin a perfectly beautiful Sunday afternoon by throwing some nightmare fuel onto the fire....
It's Like, Major League Soccer, Only Overseas And Interesting
By popular demand: Recapping the first weekend of Premier League soccer action, without having a damn clue what I'm even writing, despite having Hirshey's EPL preview open in a separate window:...
Who's The Next Punter To Attempt To Kill Off His Competition?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
NFL Season Preview: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Judge: Brazilian Soccer Is Too Gay
Say what you will about the legal system in our country — we are a country governed by laws, and those laws are enforced by a man who gleefully lies, splendid, amazing, artistically blessed lies — but at least we don't have people like Manoel Maximiniano Junqueira Filho, a Brazilian judge....
Even Crazy Terrorist Bastards Take Time Out For Sports
"Bin Laden here. Just a note to my homies on the Iraqi soccer team: Nice job winning the Asian Cup. We were all rooting for you here in the cave. Strength be to Allah. Oh ... and also congratulations to Barry Bonds on No. 755."...