christ Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Front Row At The Spurs Game Is Awesome Until Ron Artest Spills Coffee In Your Face
This Spurs fan, identified only as "Bob," sure picked the wrong Spurs game to sit court-side for free in a white Oxford! Bob, to his credit, was very understanding about the coffee-in-face situation, even when Lisa Salters attempted to one-up him with yet another harrowing tale of gravity in the s...
Christina Aguilera Is An Anti-American Slut, According To Pro-American Internet Commenters
"I got so caught up in the moment of the song that I lost my place," Aguilera has explained about last night's blunder. "I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through." Sure, fair enough. Now let's check in with Real Ameri...
Necking In A Car Can Ruin Your Transfer
Yesterday afternoon, La Salle University announced that Nebraska sophomore Christian Standhardinger would be transferring. A couple hours later, they said "you know what, never mind." All because of a shirtless, pantsless romp in the park after dark....
The Public Demand To Rip Apart The "This Is Indiana" Rap Video Is Undeniable
So we'll oblige. Now, before you skewer, please keep in mind that these young lads devoted many, many hours into making IU a viral Christian Lander joke. Fire when ready. [Brice Fox and Daniel Weber]...
Newest Favre Allegations Get The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
Some great visuals in this one, including a literal slab of meat, the "Most Vilified Pervert" Award, and, yes, gunslinger orgasm....
<em>Step Up 4</em> Starring Clayton Kershaw Had A Disappointing Opening Weekend
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Here's The Favre Sexual Harassment Lawsuit
The massage therapists' lawsuit — against Brett Favre; the Jets; and the team's massage coordinator, Lisa Ripi — is below. If you'd like analysis, please consult the many Americans conversant in both the suit's particulars and the relevant case law....
If You Mess With The Skunk, You Get Face Punched
So, former pro wrestler Christopher "The Skunk" Antal, who lost a mayoral bid in Massachusetts and pretended to urinate on a Brazilian flag on his cable-access show, was just charged with punching a 59-year-old woman in the face....
Last Night's Winner: The Chicago Bulls Kill Christmas
From their rendition of "The Twelve Days of Christmas," we learn that everyone on the Bulls is tone deaf, and one of them might be stoned. Guess which one. Go on, guess....
Jesus's Stat Line, Courtesy Ron Artest
"No ejections. He was 10 for 10s, a lot of 20 for 20s [in shooting]. Perfect from the free-throw line. Infinity rebounding stats." Sometimes questioned his coach's decisions, though. [The Score]...
10 Extremely Biblical-Looking Footballers
Of course, most of the nation will spend the weekend embroiled in sprouts, drinking heavily, and most definitely not sitting down to rewatch Mel Gibson's incredibly inaccurate and rather over-the-top remake of The Life of Brian....
Last Night's Winner: The Brett Favre Miracle
The following comprises actual phrases from actual stories written about a quarterback who last night performed the miracle of transfiguring his old ass off the injured list. These are taken verbatim....
10 Things That Christmas Would Be Better Off Without
Despite indications to the contrary, I love me some Christmas. But like anything, it's not without its faults. So let's get rid of those faults now, shall we?...
Commenter Account Still F'd? [email protected]
I know many of you are still unable to comment due to all the problems from the security breach. If these Lifehacker posts are unhelpful, your best bet is [email protected]. Keep up the resets at your leisure....
The Dougie Is Dead, And Drew Stanton Killed It
After a long illness, The Dougie passed away at 1:40 yesterday afternoon. Drew Stanton was by its side. In lieu of flowers, please send ideas for a new novelty dance....
German Santa Drunkenly Stumbles, Pisses, Falls His Way Into History
Bookmark this one for the day when you don't deliver your kid everything he or she asked Santa slide down the chimney with. Hell, bookmark this for when your family looks at you all judgmental while funneling nog....
Weekend Winner: The Big East, College Sports' Honest Harlot
TCU, a school approximately 400 miles west of the Mississippi, will soon play sports in a conference called the Big East, FanHouse informs. You have to admire the Big East. It never fails to be the hardest-working lapdancer in the room....
Steve Johnson's Dropped Pass Has Caused Him To Seriously Rethink His Devotion To A Higher Power
The usually sure-handed wide out comes to the realization that, no matter how hard he prays, there are powerful forces working against the Buffalo Bills. Nobody circles the wagons like Almighty God. [Twitter]...
Boxer Shot And Stabbed By Husband So Burglar Sees Perfect Chance To Strike
On Tuesday, boxer Christy Martin was shot and stabbed, allegedly by her husband. She's still in the hospital. Her husband's still on the lam. So, some classy folk(s) decided the time was right to break in. [Orlando Sentinel]...
Ryan Zimmerman's Wedding Dance Should Be The Next Dougie
The Nationals' non-Strasburg franchise player attended the wedding of a high school teammate over the weekend, and it was was of those "wacky" ceremonies where the wedding party has choreographed entrances. Zim didn't let them down....