cia Page 206 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Assume I drink so much coffee that sometimes I pretend that it's gas and I'm a little diesel truck that needs to get all the way across the country with my … with my load." Hey everybody, go read this bananas Grub Street Diet post by poet, author, and all-around hilarious genius Patricia Lockwood. ...
Rutgers Spent $120,000 On This Commercial
Rutgers is debuting this TV commercial Thursday during their season opener against Washington State, and it's not a terrible commercial, but for $120,000? They could've coaxed Will Ferrell to stand in a field and say "Rutgers" for probably half of that, and it'd do better....
Ain't No Liga Like The One I Got: Your 2014-15 La Liga Preview
Here we are. The La Liga season has just started up, and now we get to watch the league with the world's three best players, its two best teams, and the saddest hodgepodge of patsies since Enter the Dragon. In spite of these financial realities, Spain managed to produce Europe's wildest title race...
Is This The Best Depiction Of Power In American Cinema?
This scene, where Richard Nixon goes to Langley to meet CIA director Richard Helms, was cut out of the original release of Nixon, supposedly because Helms threatened to sue. It's really great....
NFL Penalties Are Getting Out Of Hand
There's been a lot of talk and writing about the NFL's new emphasis on its officials calling a tighter game, especially their cracking down on passing defense. But we're through two full weeks of preseason games now, long enough to discard anecdotal evidence for hard numbers. And those numbers are s...
Josh Hamilton Out Of The Lineup Again After Taking "Mental Break"
A slumping Josh Hamilton sat on Sunday, after his manager acknowledged how badly the Angels outfielder is struggling. "A mental break," Mike Scioscia called it, and Hamilton said he was the one who had asked for the day off. Well, Hamilton is out of the lineup again tonight. ...
Greg Maddux And Tom Glavine Came Up With "Chicks Dig The Long Ball"
It's been 16 years since Wieden+Kennedy's famous Nike ad featuring Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, and Mark McGwire, so some of you might actually be too young to remember it. If so, take it in (the rest of us don't mind watching it again):...
Ronaldo's Facial Fitness Commercial Is Inexplicable, Perfect
Have you been looking for a way to achieve maximum facial tone that doesn't make you feel so bored and tired? Isn't it time you had a way to be happy with your facial fitness without all the hassle? There have probably been dozens of scientists with degrees in science-related fields who have long ar...
Sergio Garcia's Tee Shot Knocks Diamond Out Of Woman's Ring
Sergio Garcia's inaccurate tee shot on the third hole at the Bridgestone Invitational knocked the diamond out of a woman's ring. Call it a diamond in the rou—never mind, everyone made that joke already....
MLS Player Gets His Dick Grabbed, Gets A Yellow Card For Flopping
It's really hard to say who comes off worse here. On the one hand, we've got New York Red Bulls defender Jamison Olave clearly grabbing a handful of Real Salt Lake forward Olmes Garcia's dick and balls. On the other hand, we've got Garcia shamelessly diving and trying to sell the idea that Olave lit...
News Anchors Reporting Plane Crash Can't Say "Ouagadougou"
Ouagadougou is the capital of Burkina Faso. It's also the origin of Air Algerie flight 5017, which crashed last week in Mali killing 118. With the disaster coming so soon after the MH17 tragedy, coverage of the crash in West Africa deserved high placement in local newscasts across the U.S.—and, in t...
Underrated Baseball Thing: A Good Bat Snap
There are few things more satisfying than seeing a player snap his bat over his knee after a strikeout. Minnesota's Oswaldo Arcia came yesterday through with a good, solid break, with plenty of shrapnel, a sumptuous audible crack, and plenty of replay angles. ...
Rory McIlroy Is Your British Open Champion
Rory McIlroy just made his dad a lot of money....
Tomato-Beer Smackdown: Bud Clamato Vs. Modelo Especial
Last week, Drew Magary issued his Definitive List of Excuses for Day Drinking, a timeless document of unrivaled beauty and precision from which he intentionally omitted brunch, because he likes to leave the odd scrap for the rest of us. So let's address brunch booze....
Bill James Calls For Revolutionary Changes To The American Economy
Over at his website, Bill James has a fun feature called "Hey Bill," where he answers questions from readers. Sometimes these have to do with esoteric baseball topics and sometimes they have to do with other things, such as the ongoing debate over James's idea to fundamentally change the structure o...
Boris Becker Has A Custom Boris Becker Phone Cover
This is an image from Wimbledon today of Novak Djokovic's coach, Boris Becker, snapping a photo with an iPhone encased in what appears to be a cute picture of Boris Becker and his family. It's basically the photographic equivalent of the following sentence, which appeared in a press release not long...
David Ortiz Is Bitching About The Official Scorer Again
David Ortiz hit a game-tying home run in extra innings last night. In the clubhouse after the game, he didn't want to talk about that. He wanted to complain about a seventh-inning ground ball that glanced off the glove of first-baseman Joe Mauer and was ruled an error....
What Happens When A Soccer Team Finds Out It Has Super Ugly New Uniforms
Fucking with people is funny all on its own—like here with this sure-it's-an-ad-but-whatever video showing terrible new kits to the Ajax squad—but there's something extra that happens when you mess with the young, rich and powerful. You find out that, you know, you can't really fuck with professiona...
Blackhawks Twitter Account Tells Mexican President To Fuck His Mother
Sort of! The poor sap who's running the Chicago Blackhawks Twitter account fell victim to the dreaded hashtag autofill trap and while trying to hashtag the above tweet with "#CHIvsLAK," they instead tagged it "#ChingueAsuMadreEPN." The explicit tag was likely an automatic prompt and they didn't even...
Spurs And Thunder Head To Overtime Thanks To Blown Goaltending Call
The officials missed a goaltending call with 44 seconds left in the game and the score tied 97-97. Though clearly a goaltending, this was deemed a block and the Spurs were shorted two points. Whiled tied 101-101, Manu missed a jumper from the elbow at the buzzer, so now we get five extra minutes bef...