dea Page 493 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A-Rod Is Dead, Dawg
• Jose Canseco and his fake reality show] • Cheese wheel. • Nothing offensive about this, nope. • This lady? Never heard of her. Until now! • Ichiro is wacky. • Every party should have Mr. Met. • LeBron might be all kinds of amazing. • Here come the otters! HERE COME THE OTTERS! • Isiah Thomas, a bu...
We Always Say Girl Plus Car Equals Dead Animal
We're gonna be a Deejay, man. And maybe a lumberjack....
Of Ping Pong Balls And Dogfights
• A-Rod likes his balls. • Carl Monday remains unstoppable. • Clinton Portis likes it when dogs fight. • Dan Shanoff live blogged the draft lottery, and it was not a happy night for Celtics fans. • AJ Hawk will be more careful about wedding photographers in the future. • NBC switches from playoff ov...
If Donnie Calls, Tell Him If It Was Gonna Be Anyone, We're Glad It Was Him
Forget about it is like, if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it! You know? But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mi...
Somewhere Out There, There's An Elephant With Your Name On It
A few commenters mentioned this yesterday, and we think it's a fair question: When is it OK to laugh? The guy we wrote about who plummeted 75 feet off a cliff in his golf cart was, after all, a real person, with a family and pets and an active Netflix account. But the first thing we thought of when ...
Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...
This Looks Like Our Prom Picture
• ESPN Mobile is indestructible. • Eric Mangini, trying to grapple with the Pats. • Brady Quinn, DANCIN'. • Ken Griffey Jr., having some fun with hecklers. • That whole suspension thing kind of mucked matters up. • It's Arena Football Day in Bristol! • Do not cheat if you're fishing. • Charming , La...
You're 32 Years Old, And You've Achieved Nothing. Jesus Christ Was Dead And Alive Again By 33. You Better Get Crackin'.
Think of it as a hobby. Something you do to relax. You're an "assassination enthusiast."...
Greetings From The South Side!
• We really are gonna try to talk these guys into a Mattoon franchise. • Hee, hee, the Brewers put fingers in butts. • See ya, Chelsea. • ESPN is full of it. Who knew? • The Brewers will make you pee. • Yeah, not a smart bet, not at all. • We love a good Star Wars nerd. • Oh, boy, Roger Clemens is b...
With Endless Love, We Left You Sleeping. Now We're Sleeping With You. Don't Wake Up.
He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world, or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets....
We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...
We Shall Disappear Like A Nightmare Before The Breaking Day
We're everyone ... and no one. Everywhere .. nowhere. Call us ... Deadspin....
Painting The Inside Corner
• We don't trust anything that bleeds for eight innings and doesn't die. • Michael Jordan, enjoying himself. • Michael Vick loves all of God's creatures. Well, the ones that win, anyway. • Goodbye, David Halberstam. • Does LAT health insurance cover this? • Seriously, kid, walk it off. • Alex Rodrig...
Communism Was Merely A Red Herring
Monkey brains, although popular in Cantonese cuisine, is not often to be found in Washington D.C....
Week In Deadspin: Projectiles In Boston
• In Fenway they throw pizza, and in Toronto they throw beer. • Kids, this is what happens when you aren't good at soccer. • Pete Carroll is in much better shape than Will Ferrell. • Free Darko took us into the playoffs. • Bud Selig solves all racial inequality. • No-hitters are the best. • "Hey, ca...
He's Not Our Dad! He's Our Stepdad!
Did you know that on several occasions... he touched us? [long pause] That wasn't true. Made it up. Shouldn't have done that. Sorry....
Week In Deadspin: Like Pac Man, We're Taking Some Time Off
• What it was like at Fenway on Wednesday. • In case you're looking for some new employment opportunities. • Jon Bon Jovi, pissed! • Indians in Milwaukee? Wha? • The new ombudsman bitch-slaps Schrutebag. • Not a good week for ESPN Fantasy Games. • Maybe you should sit a few plays out, big guy. • Rem...
Back When We Were Even Worse At This Than We Are Now
If you'll excuse us a brief moment of self-indulgence, we have a tiny anniversary to note....
To Get The Benefit Of It, Honey, You Really Need To Be Sitting In Our Seat
You didn't say we shouldn't do that ever again; you said we ain't ever gonna do that again. You said not only are we never gonna play ship's mast again, you also said if you ever do what you're trying to do now, to not only refuse, but that we had permission to physically restrain your ass if necess...
Some Minor Changes Around These Here Parts
You might have noticed some changes around here — not least of which tech issues that didn't allow us to put up our first post until 10 a.m. — so we thought we'd try to walk you through the best we understand, which is to say, not much at all....