el Page 1498 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fernando Torres Scores First Goal Back With Atlético Against Real Madrid
Hey, maybe this whole homecoming thing is going to work out, afterall! This is the exact kind of goal Torres has made his once-proud name so infamous, one where he had ample time to size up a fairly easy shot, and instead of scuffing it into an ad board, he spanked it home....
A Belgian Beer From Quebec, Perfect For The End Of The World
This marks the first year in at least the past 10 that I have not resolved to learn even the basics of a foreign language. My monolinguism is deplorable, considering that I aim to communicate for a living and have had plenty of opportunity to learn other tongues over the years. But I've never made...
El Crap: Scariest Pictures Ever
Never have I been so happy that my job entails sitting on my rump and sending pitches. Above, that's Kevin Jorgeson at his office, sending pitches. See the difference? ...
<i>Price Is Right</i> Announcer Tries To Run Backward On Treadmill, Eats It
George Gray has been The Price Is Right's subpar replacement for the irreplaceable Rod Roddy for four years now, and this is not his best moment. To his credit, Gray finished his spiel without a hitch; he's still no anthem singer. ...
Spanish Sportswriter Communes With Dead Player During Batshit Seance
Okay, this is really, really weird....
David Moyes Hops Into Stands, Enjoys Some Chips After Being Red Carded
It looks like the air in the Basque mountains has done David Moyes a world of good. No longer the grumpy looking human wrinkle he was for much of his time with Manchester United, Moyes has performed pretty much exactly as hoped with Real Sociedad. Today he even had some goodnatured fun after get...
Report: Cavaliers Players Ignore, Openly Gripe About David Blatt
The Cleveland Cavaliers, with LeBron James back and their starting five finally intact, got smoked by the Phoenix Suns last night. The team is now 19-20, the worst any team with LeBron on it has been this late in the season since his rookie year. And after the game, ESPN's Brian Windhorst dropped a ...
Mo Williams, Of All People, Scored 52 Points Last Night
The Elias Sports Bureau says that the 15-game losing streak Wolves guard Mo Williams broke with his 52-point explosion last night is the longest ever broken by a 50-point game. The second-longest was an 11-gamer, in 1962, broken by Wilt Chamberlain. That's a neatly truth-telling factoid: Only a ...
Report: Raiders To Hire Jack Del Rio
After a long-ass interview with Raider brass—his second—recently fired Broncos DC Jack Del Rio is reportedly closing in on officially getting the job. According to ESPN's Chris Mortensen, the deal will be announced as early as today....
Hockey Player Attempts Dramatic Exit, Nearly Decapitates Himself
Mitchell Skiba is a defenseman for the Alpena Flyers of the Midwest Junior Hockey League. He was recently ejected from a game for spearing an opponent, and he decided to mix a little attitude into his exit from the ice. It did not go well for him....
Two Bears Are Maybe Seriously Fighting About Twitter Unfollowing
Chicago tight end Martellus Bennett unfollowed guard Kyle Long. Long wasn't happy. He responded in kind:...
John Elway Thanks John Elway For Being So Dandy
Was it a slip of the tongue by John Elway at his conference today, or the truth? Hell, you've earned it, John. Thank yourself....
<i>WWE Raw</i> Clowns NBC's Shilling For The NFL
Buried in last night's episode of WWE Raw was a brief but funny dig at NBC and the NFL....
Jon Jones, Overachiever, Beats Alleged Cocaine Addiction In 24 Hours
A week ago, just three days after dismantling rival Daniel Cormier in a brilliant title defense, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones announced he was entering a drug treatment facility after testing positive for cocaine on a December 4 test. "I am taking this drug treatment program very seriou...
Local News Homepage Graced With The Presence Of Dick And Balls (NSFW)
WFAA.com is the homepage for the Dallas-Fort Worth area's local ABC affiliate. Let's take a look at the homepage to see what the hot news of the day is!...
How To Survive An Office Meeting: A Guide For Sad Drones
One of the terrors of the modern office job is the meeting, wherein everyone in a particular business unit of a company converges to sit around a sad, grey conference table to recite terms like report and action item and iteration and suboptimal at each other in the hope that these will conjure, m...
"Scott Van Pelt Still Look Like A Penis," And Other Mean CFB Tweets
Here's the obligatory Disney conglomerate mean-tweet-reading reacharound. There's a good SVP joke in there, but as always, what you're looking for here is the moron who can't even ham up a tweet correctly (it's Jesse Palmer, who sucks). ...
NFL Playoff Bonuses Are A Fucking Disgrace
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering weird TV people, jock strap games, chapped lips, boner grinding, and more....
OSU Shuts Down Oregon's Offense To Win The National Championship
62. 46. 48. 38. 24. 42. 45. 59. 45. 51. 44. 47. 51. 59. 20. That's how many points Oregon scored each game this season....