el Page 2143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don't Be Afraid To Talk About Hockey
Will the Flyers make this a series or humbly submit to the overwhelming power of Antti Niemi? Would you rather see Philly humiliated or Chicago twisting in the wind? A tough call, but try to focus on the hockey. [AP]...

Rick Reilly®: King Of The Juice
"Anyway, it's not an important story," Rick Reilly writes in his latest, which, like all Reilly efforts, is basically a kitten-hanging-from-a-tree-limb poster expressed in words, "just one that squirts apple juice right in your face." Hmm. Sound familiar?...

Goalie Booms 80-Yard Free Kick, Scores Goal
For your viewing pleasure, we present Lassi Hurskainen, a former UNC Asheville soccer player currently toiling in the Finnish minor leagues for division-leading Riverball FC, absolutely nailing the indirect free kick and catching his counterpart absurdly off-guard. [Goal; H/T Kenny]...

Marlins Invite You To Attend Game That Already Happened
Florida is selling unused tickets to Roy Halladay's perfect game (at face value) which means they've finally figured out how to make losing more profitable than winning. They've also announced that June is "No-Hitter Month" at Sun Life Stadium! [MLB.com]...

LeBron Goes On <em>Larry King</em>, Says Cleveland Has An Edge, Whatever That Means
LeBron James had a conversation with a confused old man and agreed that Cleveland has an "edge" as regards his impending free agency. In response, Larry King farted quietly into his diaper. [CNN, photo via @kingsthings]...

Thanks To Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian Will Get Beer Thrown On Her If She Goes To Boston
"They gave it to my kids last time in Boston...[I] don't know how my wife is going to be able to sit in the crowd," Odom said, later adding that security might be needed."[OC Register via SBB]...

Intern Horrors: A Reds Broadcaster Does His Best To Ruin Eric Davis Bobblehead Night
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today, there's a Cincinnati Red showing his true colors (it's envy!), a desk befouled, the depths of desperation, and our first badtern....

Dan Patrick's Garish Yellow Man Purse Spotted At DMB Show (UPDATE)
One reader caught the Dave Matthews (Band) show at Hartford on Saturday night and had the good fortune of sitting near Patrick and his family, bobbing along to "Ants Marching" and the like. But, seriously, what's with the bag?...

LeBron Watch, Day 12: What The Cavs Will Do About The Delonte West-Gloria James Rumor
Was there any truth to the rumor that Delonte West and LeBron's mom, uh, you know? Two Cleveland insiders disagree on what happened, but no matter what, there's only one way for the Cavs to handle it....

Last Night's Winner: Philadelphia Flailers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks, who seriously got under Philly's skin, as evidenced by Dan Carcillo launching himself at anything that moves, and Chris Pronger literally throwing in the towel....

Chicago Faces Epidemic Of Jersey-Wearing Statues
It is official: Chicago is a hockey town. If the Michael Jordan statue is wearing Hawks threads, it's only a matter of time before Mayor Daley is mispronouncing players' names and crudely dyeing the city's fountain waters red. Oh wait....

LA Times Writer Kicks Off Finals Fever With Questionable Paul-Pierce-Stabbing "Joke"
Championships are great. They force cities to lambaste other cities, get mayors to make cutesy bets with each other and let writers fire up the ol' Template-O-Tron 5000 and write "Guide to Hating [Opponent]" columns. The LA Times's Ted Green began early....

Weekend Winner: The 215
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the 215 area code, home of baseball's most recent perfect game. And to think: They did it all without involving A-Rod or finger tattoos!...

Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...

Halladay's Perfect Game Was No Surprise To One Nostradamus
One Phillies fan predicted this, and counted down each batter — starting before Halladay even took the mound. Can we retire the concept of jinxes yet?...

Cubs Fan Struggles With Urinal, Fashion
Todd sends in this photo of a "drunk guy" having problems with the trough at Wrigley Field. That level of drunkenness is an accomplishment, considering it was taken before the game started. (Note: don't take photos in a bathroom. Unless it's funny.)...

Kendry Morales's Brittle Leg Teaches Us A Valuable Lesson About...Something
Someone in that Angels dugout is kicking themselves for not just simply wishing Morales "good luck" before coming to the plate in the tenth, instead of saying "break a leg." Ugh, that was terrible. I apologize....

Frenchman Surrenders To Gravity: Skates Off Eiffel Tower
Taïg Khris attempted to set a new record, freefalling 41 feet before hitting the quarterpipe. Did he die? You'll have to wait for Blood Week! (Or watch the video.)...

Vicente Padilla Is Possibly In Trouble For Something
And when Vicente Padilla is in trouble for something, it's usually a dramatic something. First guess? He threw at the head of a Denver Ritz Carlton hotel guest. [VinScullyIsMyHomeBoy]...

Which One Of These Geniuses Do You Think Ran Onto Wrigley Field Yesterday?
"Dude" or "Sweet." Take your time. Think it over. Would "Dude," with his tilted hat, be brave enough to do it even though he doesn't appear to be wearing enough sunblock? Or will "Sweet" do the honors?...