England Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

108-Foot Roy Hodgson Erected On English Coast
"Roy the Redeemer" was unveiled this week, a massive statue of England manager aping the famous Christ sculpture in Brazil. He stands above the cliffs of Dover, and is supposedly visible from France. (The two nations face each other on Monday.)...

Premier League Teams Are Hemorrhaging Money, And TV Revenue Sharing Could Be To Blame
Here's some not-so-great news on the heels of a thrilling end to the Premier League—no one's making any money. Actually, that's not true—five teams turned a profit in 2010-2011, the last season for which financials are available. But despite a record $3.6 billion income, the 20 Premier League clubs ...

Carlos Tevez Happily Wields "R.I.P. Fergie" Sign At Man City's Parade
After a miracle at Etihad, two goals in stoppage time, gave City its first title since 1968, the team today celebrated with a parade. The trophy was carried through the streets of Manchester on an open-top bus, attended by delirious fans and at least one jubilant forward who does not forgive or forg...

Fabrice Muamba Is Looking Damn Good
Just 13 days after his heart stopped on the pitch, Bolton's Fabrice Muamba had a friend send this photo out from his Twitter account. He's sitting up, he's smiling, and he's alive. "Fab wanted me to post this pic," the friend writes, "and to also say thank you for such overwhelming support." [Twitte...

British Olympians Warned Not To Shake Hands With Dirty Foreigners
Because the true Olympic spirit isn't friendship but rather winning, a doctor with the British Olympic Association is warning athletes that shaking hands with rivals and visiting dignitaries is just about the best way to get sick before your event (along with making out with that hot Ukrainian penta...

And Now For Your U.K. Weather, Where The Forecast Is "Bucketloads Of Cunt"
This is from Alex Deakin's 10:00 weather report last night on BBC 1, which forecast near-freezing temperatures in southern England and frost warnings in Scotland, northern England and parts of Wales....

What Do Premier League Stars Read When They're Not Busy Not Reading?
It's time for the 2012 Premier League Reading Stars program, in which England's schoolkids are encouraged to read by professional athletes pretending to love books. To kick off the program, 20 Premier Leaguers—one from each club—were asked to name their favorite adult and children's books. The resul...

Robbie Findley Missed An Open Net From Two Yards Out
He didn't even come particularly close, either. The US national and Nottingham Forest striker will be rueing this one, from the first half of today's FA Cup replay at Leicester City....

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Balotelli showed up unannounced at a Manchester school, where he asked students if there was a bathroom he could use. [via Dirty Tackle]...

Liverpool: Still A Bit Racist
Did Anfield learn nothing from Luis Suarez's ban? Two Liverpool supporters (both wearing Suarez jerseys) yelled racial taunts at Oldham's Tom Adeyemi during today's FA Cup match. The game was interrupted as the fans were removed, and at least one of them has been arrested. [Mirror Football, Guardian...

U.K.'s Royal Mint Releases Coin Explaining The Offside Rule
Now that 2012 is upon us, the U.K.'s Royal Mint is releasing 29 new coins, each featuring a different Olympic sport. Above is the soccer coin, the reverse of which contains a handy diagram explaining just what constitutes offside. The image "is designed to provoke discussion," but I think the real d...

Twitter-Obsessed Soccer Player Gives Child Very Unfortunate Name
Gabriel Zakuani is a Congolese defender for Peterborough, who had a cup of coffee at the top level but couldn't quite cut it. But he's given his son a name as stupid as any Premier leaguer's child....

Mario Balotelli: Spokesman For Firework Safety
Man City's mercurial striker had one hell of a weekend. He set his rented $4.8 million house on fire after setting off fireworks in the bathroom. He scored the first two goals in a 6-1 thrashing of second place Manchester United at Old Trafford, Sir Alex's "worst ever" defeat. He drove through Manch...

"City Fans, 10% Off; United Fans, Fuck Off."
Could you tell it's nearly derby day? With City two points clear ahead of Sunday's showdown at Old Trafford, the watering holes of Manchester are taking sides. [Twitter]...

Are Things Going Any Better For John Henry Over At Liverpool?
It's been almost exactly one year since Henry's Fenway Sports Group purchased Liverpool, so to mark the occasion, Henry agreed to a rare lengthy interview with the Guardian. Both parts are well worth your time, but let's draw out the interesting stuff....

Oh Look, An Empty Threat To Bench Wayne Rooney For A Year
After a red card in England's draw with Montenegro, Wayne Rooney will miss the first one or two games (depending on a disciplinary hearing) of next summer's European Championship. With three big warm-up matches before the tournament, England manager Fabio Capello is supposedly contemplating using Ro...

Samir Nasri Will Not Score Until April
City closed the deal with their 40 million dollar man today, and to celebrate, they had EA Sports put together an image of Nasri scoring his first goal, using the upcoming FIFA 12. Nasri appears to have slipped past Vidic and a very out-of-position Rooney, and City fans probably cannot wait for this...

You Can't Fight A DMV-Nominated Samurai Champion In Lieu Of A Trial Anymore
A tipster has sent us a story nine years old but timeless. You might not know that in England, drivers must fill out a specific form in order to avoid paying taxes on an unused vehicle. You also might not know that in Medieval England, trials were often settled by the two parties engaging in single ...

Chelsea Embraces The Prawn Sandwich Brigade
This isn't just an advertisement for the most succulent amuse-bouche you've ever seen. It's also Chelsea being more self-aware than we though possible....

Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....