England Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stiff Upper Lip, Lads
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Last Night's Winner: White Magic
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the England National Team, who had apparently been afflicted by a witch doctor curse, which was just lifted by the official Archdruid of Cornwall. Twenty-sided dice, too, probably....
World Cup Open Thread: England-Algeria
Tea and crumpets! Sand! It's England and Algeria. Bond over your shared hatred of the French in the comments....
Here's Rob Green In An Alternate Universe In Which His Hands Are Not Made Of Stone
Some clever soul has produced this video of the England goalkeeper actually stopping Clint Dempsey's slow-rolling 30-footer and not cocking up his country's fortunes. Now do one of these for Cornwallis. (U-S-A! U-S-A! etc.) [YouTube, via The Bucky Channel]...
Bristol Man Gets All World Cup On His House’s Ass
The Spoiler has some experience of Knowle West in Bristol, thanks to a few years spent getting loaded on the taxpayer's buck back in the early 1990s. Great times....
U.S.A.-England Tie Given The Lego Treatment
Here's the Lego version of the U.S. England goal. You haven't lived until you've seen a Lego Robert Green lay down on a Lego soccer field in Lego shame. H/T Denton. [The Guardian, via Business Insider]...
ESPN Gives Clint Dempsey Unfortunate Nickname
So that was fun, huh? The U.S. played to a draw today thanks in large part to Robert Green's colossal cock-up. Green is expected to be Temple of Doom'd by Capello later this evening. Next up: Slovenia, lower TV ratings....
World Cup Open Thread: England-United States
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-...
Private Stache: Brawling In The Stands At The 1986 World Cup
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Beware The World Cup Wife Beaters
Yes, soccer is a thing that they take seriously some places. To that end, a British professor is urging women to have a plan in place in case their partners turn abusive after the inevitable England loss....
World Cup Refs Take Course In English Swears
It's rumored that FIFA wants the refs to be prepared when Rooney inevitably cusses up a storm, so they've been given a list of common English swears like "wanker," "Berkshire hunt," and "smibbly-bibbly." Note: one of those might be made up. [Times]...
US/England Trash Talk Reaches Highest Echelons Of Government
Oh, it is on. The US and UK ambassadors' offices exchanged a great series of letters, making a friendly wager and generally talking shit in advance of Saturday's showdown. Who knew State Department types could be so, well, funny?...
Your First World Cup Conspiracy Theory: England-U.S.A.'s Crooked Ref
FIFA just announced their first batch of World Cup referee assignments and because everyone assumes everyone else is out to screw them, it's a great excuse to make preemptive excuses for why your team is about to lose....
David Hirshey Is Your World Cup Historian, Not Your World Cup Closer
David Hirshey wrote regularly for this site about soccer for two years before selling us out to write a terrific book for ESPN. He talked to Emeritus about the book, the World Cup and mustaches....
Celebrate England's World Cup Run....By Subjugating The Irish!
Many eating and drinking establishments will try to capitalize on World Cup Fever by offering specials deals for soccer fans this month, but see if you can pick out what's wrong with this one....
Relive The 1966 World Cup Final With The Magic Of Lego
The mad Germans at Legofussball.com have recreated in Lego the last time — SPOILERS — England won a World Cup. Ooh, do the Falklands War next! [Legofussball, via The Guardian]...
World Cup Trash Talk Begins: Lionel Messi Is Coming For Your Women
We're about month away from the start of Soccerpocalypse 2010 and that means it's time for entire nations to start trading highly personal insults. Yes, even attempted seduction of another players ex-wife is fair game here....
Stupid English People Will No Longer Get To Chase Rolling Cheese Down A Hill
After an illustrious 183-year run, the annual Whitsun cheese-rolling event on Cooper's Hill in Gloucester has been canceled, partly for safety reasons. Add "chasing cheese wheels down a steep hill" to the list of things that England has deemed unsafe....
Gyrocopter Decapitation Is One Way To Kick Off Hunting Season
Arguments have begun in the trial of an animal rights activist who decapitated a fox hunt supporter with his gyrocopter. I have never written a more metal sentence....
UK/Canada Spat Uncharacteristically Crude, Penis-Related
The English papers have been taking shots at Canada's running of the games. One Canadian columnist fires back with accusations of premature ejaculation. Yep. We've reached that point....