ESPN Page 193 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Bizarro Bill Simmons
From the great Yard Work satirical blog, here's an imaginary (but just barely) selection from Bill Simmons' mailbag:...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 11 a.m. MLB with Buster Olney: If you want to write a real bestseller, you should out all the gay Yankees. The entire infield, right? Come on Olney, give! · Noon. MLB with Steve Phillips: Hi, I'm an advertising executive in Manhattan. ...
Bill Simmons Translator: We Were Little, Swarthy People. No, Really
ESPN Page 2 columnist/national movement Bill Simmons has filed an unusually brief missive about last night's Game 7. You know what that means: It's time for The Bill Simmons Translator!...
We Have To Ask ...
We Have to Ask ... Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 11 a.m. MLB with Jerry Crasnick: Are sports agents technically rodents, or members of the weasel family? · 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: Hey, wasn't that Tyson trying to sell his pigeons on eBay? · 4 p.m. Poker with...
Page 3 Wakes Up And Publishes — Barely
Well, it's Friday, so that must mean it's time for Page 3's editors to remember that they're, in fact, editors and update their "page." To show they mean business, they actually post two stories today. (We know!)...
ESPN Acknowledges It's Sucking The Life Out Of Sports
The New York Post's resident prude Phil Mushnick digs up an internal memo at ESPN that admits they're constantly stealing scoops from other non-ESPN journalists and claiming them as their own. We've noticed this several times — we almost expected a crawl this morning that said "ESPN's Marc Stein r...
Wait ... Where <em>Are</em> You, Anyway?
So we're watching Around The Horn right now. The panelists today are Jay Mariotti, Tom Cowlishaw, Bob Ryan and Bill Plaschke. They've been blabbering on about the NBA Finals for about 10 minutes now. They are reporters, talking about events on their beat, or at least that's the conceit, right?...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 10 a.m. Fantasy Football Focus: Isn't this June? Instead of devising a seven-month plan to acquire Mark Brunell, shouldn't I be, oh, I don't know, having a life? · Noon. ESPN Golf School: Once again I've strained a tendon trying to lea...
Sneakers: Rock The Vote, America!
We know that the whole point of ESPN's Page 2 is to write about the culture of sports, from entertainment to clothing to ... well, whatever the media kit says, just trust that. But this is getting ridiculous....
Bill Simmons Translator: He Loved "The The!"
Now that ESPN Serious Journalist Bill Simmons has gotten pretty much every single prediction of the NBA Finals completely wrong, we thought we'd check in with him after last night's Game 6 with ... yes ... The Bill Simmons Translator!...
Page 3 Continues To Bring You The News
Today's fun Page 3 Statistical Breakdown:...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... Noon. Live From Wimbledon: Next year, how about a division for monkeys? 1 p.m. College World Series: Seriously, is anyone watching? 4 p.m. Baseball with Gary Gillette. Does the 2005 ESPN Baseball Encyclopedia make a better doorstop, or b...
ESPN Apologizes For Cockfighting Story, But Isn't Sure Why
So, this is intersting. A few weeks back, Mike Ogle, a freelance reporter for ESPN Page 2 (and, when they deign to publish, Page 3), wrote a story about cockfighting in Guam. We'd link to the story, but ESPN has already taken it off the Web site. And this is where it gets interesting....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Stump the Schwab: Just about any question involving world history, science, geography or simple arithmetic should do it. • 2 p.m. MLB with Rob Neyer: I think I just heard a noise downstairs. Can you come over? I promise I won't s...
Mike Greenberg Is Gay Vogue. Really
OK, so you know how ESPN radio hosts Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic are constantly making jokes about how Greenberg is a "metrosexual" and Golic is, uh, hmm, a loutish oaf? (If you need any more substantiation of this Extremely Marketable Odd Couple Quality, check out their newest lame ass cartoon,...
Olbermann Readies Himself For The Rubber Room
Legitimate question: Is MSNBC Serious Journalist Anchor Keith Olbermann crazy? We're not really kidding. Last week, ESPN announced that Olbermann, after eight years away from the network, will return to the Worldwide Bleeder to host a show on ESPN Radio. We suppose, in a certain way, this makes s...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... 10 a.m.. Fantasy Baseball Focus: I spent all of Father's Day working out a trade for San Diego pitcher Scott Linebrink. Is it too late to call Dad? 1 p.m.. MLB with Tony Gwynn: How many home runs would you have hit if you weren't so fat?...
Page 3: They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
Honestly. Could someone please put ESPN's Page 3 out of its misery?...
Suggested Questions For Today's ESPN Chatters
Suggested questions for today's ESPN chatters 10 a.m.: MLB with Joe Morgan. In these troubling times, any tips on getting through airport security? 11 a.m.: Fantasy Baseball Focus. I've missed so much work that I'm about to be fired, and my wife wants a divorce. Should I pick up Carl Pavano? 2 p.m.:...
The Sweet, Beautiful Face Of Derek Jeter
What is it, Tim Kirk ... JUN, that makes you swoon? Is it candlelight dinners? Long walks on the beach? John Kruk all lathered up in bacon fat?...