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The Lawyer For Fred Smoot, Who Double-Donged Two Hookers, Would Like You To Know Smoot Did Not Pee Himself After His DUI Arrest
Yesterday we passed along the news that Fred Smoot, the former cornerback best known for inserting a double-ended dildo into two prostitutes on a Vikings sex cruise, was arrested last month in Washington for a DUI. Among the information in the police affidavit: Smoot urinated down his pants leg whil...

A Lip Reader Deciphers The Umpire-Manager Arguments Of 2012
Originally published in Baseball Prospectus....

Jets Winger Evander Kane Gets Giant "YMCMB" Shaved Into His Head
You can only be so in touch with hip hop when you play for the Winnipeg Jets. They used to be the Atlanta Thrashers. Winnipeg has a few hip-hoppists fewer than Atlanta. (No, the Thrashers didn't have Atlanta's leading hip-hoppists—Outcast, Wocker Flocker Flame, Ti—there to support them, but they did...
![<em>Washington Post</em> Drags Victim's Mother To His Grave To Remind Us That Nobody Is Paying Attention To The Ray Lewis Murder Case [Update: The <i>Buffalo News</i> Too!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18cm3rrxpzoi8jpg.jpg)
<em>Washington Post</em> Drags Victim's Mother To His Grave To Remind Us That Nobody Is Paying Attention To The Ray Lewis Murder Case [Update: The <i>Buffalo News</i> Too!]
"Here he is right here," Priscilla says with a smile....

Cedric Benson's Dogs Are A Scourge Upon Local Livestock
Green Bay Packers running back and part-time strip club DJ Cedric Benson is not very good at controlling his murderous dogs. According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Benson was recently issued a citation after his two Rottweilers went on a violent rampage against some innocent livestock....

UFC On Fox 6: What Do MMA Fans Have Against The Little Guys?
One of the best things about fighting today is that it's fairly free of bullshit. The sport is beneath the notice of the big-time mythmakers, and its own media hustlers are too inept for their godding up to have any real effect, so a fight is rarely about anything so simple as redemption or salvatio...

Texas Football Players Accused Of Sexual Assault Will Not Face Charges
The Bexar County (Texas) district attorney's office has made it official: Quarterback Case McCoy and linebacker Jordan Hicks, both juniors, will not be criminally charged for an incident in which a 21-year-old woman alleged that one of them had sexually assaulted her while the other looked on in a S...

The Real Cost To Miami For Marlins Park Is In The Billions
We've aired our grievances with the very concept of public financing for sports stadiums, especially the sweetheart deal Jeffrey Loria got for Marlins Park, where the team had to cover less than 20 percent of the cost. But even if you're not philosophically opposed to tax money going to multi-millio...

The Best Videos Of The Week
JaVale does a JaVale thing, a soccer player kicks a ballboy, Jim Harbaugh shows us how to find the asshole, the Birdman and Mike Miller rap, and a soccer player gets a friendly welcome back to the pitch. Here are the best videos of the week....

Nail Yakupov Had A Perfect Celebration For His Game-Tying Goal Last Night
It's hockey season. Didn't you know it was hockey season? We know this hockey season will be unlike other hockey seasons in at least one way: It's short. But we don't yet know whether this season will resemble the last three NHL seasons in another way. Will the Edmonton Oilers be really young and ...

Report: Carl Pavano Ruptured His Spleen Shoveling Snow
That's according to Ken Rosenthal, whose MLB sources told him the injury would keep the right-hander out for six to eight weeks. Then again, it might be much longer. Consider: Pavano is 37, he hasn't pitched since June 1 because of shoulder trouble, and he's still a free agent....

The PGA Doesn't Want Reporters Tweeting Play-By-Play Of Golf Events. Your Move, Norm Macdonald.
Here's the email that PGA communications exec Ty Votaw sent out to reporters, via Wei Under Par:...

Report: Female Tuiasosopo Cousin Involved In Te'o Hoax
Two recent developments have been hard to reconcile with each other. First, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo's claim to the Daily News that, in leading on Manti Te'o, it was him on the phone the entire time, impersonating a female voice. Second, the release of three voicemails from "Lennay Kekua" to Te'o—they rea...

Sean Payton Has Been Back For Two Days And Already Fired Two Coaches
The NFL announced on Tuesday that Sean Payton's season-long suspension for his role in the bounty scandal was over. He presumably spent Wednesday moving all his desk tchotchkes back into his office. Today he fired defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo and secondary coach Ken Flajole....

Arizona's Justification For Trading Justin Upton Is Insufferable
The Arizona Diamondbacks' decision to trade Justin Upton to the Atlanta Braves for Martin Prado, Randall Delgado, and a handful of prospects is a curious one. Upton had a relatively disappointing season in 2012 (he still posted 2.5 WAR according to Fangraphs), but he looked like the second coming o...

Fred Smoot, Who Double-Donged Two Hookers, Peed His Pants After Being Arrested For DUI
Fred Smoot, the former Redskins and Vikings cornerback, would like to be known as something other than "that guy who put a double-ended dildo into two prostitutes on the Vikings sex boat." He tried breaking the news that Robert Griffin III's shredded knee would keep him out an entire year, but that ...

Rating Every Sketch In <em>Kentucky Fried Movie</em>, The Film <em>Movie 43</em> Wanted to Be
Tomorrow, the film Movie 43 opens, and if its stars have their way, you'll never know a thing about it. As amusingly detailed in the New York Post this week, the myriad of movie stars involved in Movie 43 — including Richard Gere, Naomi Watts, Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet —...

All Football Players Are Suckers: An NFL No-Namer On His Catfishy Moment
One day during the NFL offseason, I got a text message....

Rachel Nichols Needs To Get A New Twitter Handle
Once word got out this afternoon that Rachel Nichols was leaving ESPN for a gig with CNN/Turner, many people took to Twitter to offer Nichols their congratulations. One problem: They were tweeting at the wrong Rachel Nichols....

Katherine Webb Isn't Darnell Dockett's Type: "I'm Not Into The Thinner Girls"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Missed kicks? San Francisco's GM isn't worried....