f Page 1833 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Ain't A Tour De France Unless Some Dude's Ass Is Hanging Out
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That Water Is Colder Than It Looks
Current San Francisco Bay water temperature: 63°. Kruk & Kuip never fail to be amused by this....

How Should You Feel About A Bear Using A Boulder To Break A Window?
As you’ve surely heard by now, a bear in a Minnesota zoo shattered a pane of glass with a boulder. That a wild animal would want to destroy a barrier keeping it within a confined habitat isn’t all that remarkable, but what is noteworthy is precisely how this bear went about breaking the glass....
![FSU's Dalvin Cook Will Be Charged With Battery [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1335107602703260078.jpg)
FSU's Dalvin Cook Will Be Charged With Battery [UPDATE]
A second Florida State player has been accused of hitting a woman at a Tallahassee bar. This time, it’s running back Dalvin Cook, who just a few days ago was named to the watch list for the Maxwell Award for the nation’s top player. According to police records, this incident happened on June 23, one...

Sentient Lacrosse Stick/Kicker Trolls Big Ten, Commits To Penn State
This here is Quinn Nordin, and today he committed to Penn State. Below, you’ll find a video he and a friend put together announcing his commitment, set to “Coming Home.” It makes no real sense in the first place—he’s from Michigan—and involving some sort of small, fixed-wing aircraft makes it even m...

Greg Hardy's 10-Game Suspension Reduced To Four
Defensive end Greg Hardy signed with the Cowboys in March after his domestic violence charges were dropped when the victim didn’t show up to court; the NFL gave him a 10-game suspension without pay in April. Hardy appealed the punishment, and today, arbitrator Harold Henderson reduced the suspension...

It's Time To See If Conor McGregor, A Beautiful Troll, Can Fight
On Saturday, Irish fighter Conor McGregor will face Chad Mendes for the Ultimate Fighting Championship’s interim featherweight championship. The bout will be the final chapter of a saga over two years in the making....

When Ken Stabler Was A Country-Music Lyric Come To Life
This article was originally published in the September 1980 issue of Inside Sports and appears here with permission....
![Rodeo Enthusiasts Enjoy Rodeo [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1334670265994500162.png)
Rodeo Enthusiasts Enjoy Rodeo [NSFW]
The Calgary Stampede is a massive rodeo/festival/shitshow which takes over the city every year. As seen in a video posted to Instagram on Wednesday, an unofficial side event featured a woman and two men vigorously going to town in what appears to be an alley....

At The Sports Brand Awards, Brands Tell A Story About Telling Stories
When I walked into Cipriani on 42nd St.—a gorgeous Manhattan event space highlighted by stone archways, Greek columns, and ceilings higher than those of a Renaissance cathedral’s—on Wednesday night, I was greeted by a bank of MacBooks, each manned by a well-dressed young person, their faces glowing ...

“Never Fight People Bigger Than You”: Your School Fight Horror Stories
I went to Spanish Camp when I was a kid (shut up), and there was this one kid named Dave who was always a dick to me. I spent pretty much every waking moment ruminating on how much I hated Dave, until one day when I couldn’t take it anymore, and I walked up behind Dave and sucker-punched him. Total ...

Cuban: I Went To DeAndre Jordan's House, But He Said He Was On A Date
Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has more to say about losing DeAndre Jordan to the Clippers, specifically ESPN dingus Chris Broussard’s reports that he was driving around Houston like a madman trying to find Jordan’s house on Wednesday night. ...

DeAndre Jordan Hurt Chandler Parsons's Feelings. Hurt 'Em Real Bad, Bro.
Nobody was more instrumental to the Mavericks’ courtship of DeAndre Jordan than Chandler Parsons. Dallas’ small forward was attached to Jordan’s hip throughout the free-agency period, reportedly taking the big man out to dinner five nights in a row and wooing him with talk of MVP awards and All-Star...

Fat Guy Touchdown Alert!
It’s always big news in these parts when a Fat Guy scores a touchdown, and it happened tonight in the CFL as Ottawa defensive lineman Zack Evans came away with a ball out of Edmonton’s QB Matt Nichols’s hand and took it 65 yards to the maison. It’s not much consolation for the Redblacks, who are get...

Former Raiders QB Ken Stabler Dead At 69
Former NFL quarterback Ken Stabler, who led the Raiders to victory in Super Bowl XI in 1977, died yesterday at the age of 69. According to his family, Stabler died due to complications with colon cancer, and donated his brain and spinal cord to Boston University to study degenerative brain diseases....

Scandal-Plagued Kevin Johnson's Fixers Are Just Making Things Worse
Kevin Johnson’s bizarre campaign to carry out a “coup” against the National Conference of Black Mayors, or NCBM, is looking more and more like his Waterloo....

Blazers Offer Enes Kanter The Max, Stick It To The Thunder
After last night, it felt like we’d seen the last of the drama that this year’s NBA free-agency period had to offer. But then the Blazers went and signed Thunder center and restricted free agent Enes Kanter to a max offer sheet, which puts Oklahoma City’s front office in a position where they are so...

Two-time Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year Braxton Miller told The Columbus Dispatch that he will return to play for Ohio State in the 2015-16 season. After going down last season with a preseason shoulder injury, Miller was succeeded by J.T. Barrett and Cardale Jones—who he will battle this pres...
