g Page 5171 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
I took my three-year-old to see Up the other day. We left after an hour because she didn't want to stick around (Thanks for burning my money, kid). But that hardly mattered....

New Zealand Athlete Needs Escort To The Olympics
Logan Campbell, a taekwando fighter from New Zealand, needs money to fund his bid for the 2012 Olympics, because $NZ300,000 is a lot of money, currency calculator reveals. Campbell's plan? Open a brothel. But of course!...

Nationals Fire Manager To Cap Most Ridiculous First-Half Ever
In the least surprising firing of ever, Manny Acta is done as the Washington Nationals manager—but will they continue to fail in even more remarkable and outlandish ways in the second half? Or will they just merely suck?...

Mets Fans Even Boo Their Rotten Apple
More surprising: the Mets hitting back-to-back home runs, or Citi Field's Home Run Apple engineered without that possibility in mind? The Apple finally emerged minutes after the second homer, giving the crowd something to cheer about, for once. [Star-Ledger]...

Deadspin Classic: A Disco Inferno
In an alternate universe, Deadspin's archives would cover the whole scope of human history. Occasionally, we like to revisit those timeless moments that we would have written about, if only we could have. Today: The night disco died....

Arturo Gatti's Wife Allegedly "Choked The Life Out Of Him With Her Purse Strap"
The NYDN went a little overboard describing the former exotic dancer's physique, but revealed the relationship between Gatti and Amanda Carine Barbosa Rodrigues was always intense: "It could get violent at times." You don't say. [NYDN]...

Zambrano Pitches, Hits, Uses Inverted Pyramid
The Cubs have to be one of the most disappointing teams in the National League. It was nice for Carlos Zambrano to do, well, everything in the game today....

USA Eliminated By Croatia In Davis Cup Quarters
This is utterly shocking news to those who had no idea the Davis Cup was even going on right now. [UPI]...

All-Star Party At Old Man Leyland's Cancelled
Jim Leyland's wife was going to host an All-Star Game party, but he requested a nice, peaceful night at home. (Translation: he wants to do it.) [MLive]...

Oh, The Things We Could Demolish Today
Thirty years ago today was the death of disco at Comiskey Park. A wacky promotion turned into Woodstock '79 as tens of thousands of rock and roll purists stormed the field....

His Name Is Also What the Police Did
Kansas Jayhawks basketball player Chase Buford — son of San Antonio Spurs general manager R.C. Buford — was arrested on suspicion of driving while hammered. [KMBC]...

If They Were Athletes: The Robots From <i>Mega Man II</i>
You've thought to yourself, "Y'know, those extremely agile and powerful Nintendo characters would be great at sports." But who would they be, if manifested in reality?...

This Was Not The Week For Ex-Athletes To Be At Odds With Lovers
On the day of Steve McNair's funeral, another sordid story comes to light as Arturo Gatti's wife has been detained as a result of the boxer's death....

Yes, It's For A Completely Different Individual, Who's Not Me
"My grandson is 'in love' with Shawn Johnson, the Olympic gymnast. Do you know where I could get an 8 by 10 picture or poster of her?" [Cape Cod Times]...

We Were Wrong. He Can Go Lower
Jose Canseco didn't fare so well against a real fighter. Now he'll try his luck boxing Bill "El Wingador" Simmons. That's not a nickname for the Sports Fella, it's a guy who eats for a living.[Celebrity Boxing Federation]...

Arturo Gatti Reported Killed In Brazil (Update)
Arturo "Thunder" Gatti, one of the most entertaining boxer of the decade, is being reported murdered in Brazil at the age of 37. Tracking, obviously. Sadly true. [Google Translator/CBC]...

And You Thought Tony Parker Was Excited About The Richard Jefferson Trade
The Spurs guard was in Paris this week, celebrating his brother's birthday with a bottle of champagne worth more than my life. [Faded Youth Blog]...

Seperate But Equal Casual Racism
Made uncomfortable by Martellus Bennett's Black Olympics? Maybe the Summer Redneck Games are for you! They're being held today just off of Boatramp Road in East Dublin, Ga....

Mad Dog Goes Rabid, Needs To Be Put Down (SECOND UPDATE)
What can only be described as one of sports talk radio's most epic meltdowns happened two days ago. But since it happened on satellite radio, nobody knows a got-dang thing about it....

Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...