gi Page 532 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

BYU Gets Themselves A TV Deal, Inter-Sect Rivalry
Newly-independent BYU signed a 6-game deal to play Notre Dame in the "Protestants Don't Consider Either One Christians" Bowl Series....

Nothing's More Metal Than A Nice Pinot Grigio
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Oh Look, More Trouble For Joe Mazzulla
The fun loving West Virginia senior (see here, here and here) was cited in Morgantown for public urination. I thought that was a standard part of back-to-school orientation. [AP]...

Intern Horrors: The Worst <em>Entourage</em> Subplot Of All Time
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns sound off about horrible bosses and bosses sound off about horrible interns. Today: ice cream runs in Tinseltown, clogging toilets in Vegas, and more. Let's do it to it. Sic'd and sick....

Lil Wayne Loves Him Some Maria Sharapova
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tiki Barber's Young Girlfriend Pens Icky Memoir, Promptly Called Homewrecking Whore
Two days ago, Crushable.com published an odd story written by Traci Johnson, the young blonde thing Tiki took up with after he separated from his pregnant wife (so he says). Readers were not impressed....

Everybody Needs To Stop Talking About The Cubs' Future For A Few Months
After Lou Piniella announced he was retiring after last Sunday's game—fittingly, it was a blowout—the Chicago and national media started yammering on about who would replace him, and What It All Means For The Cubs. Please make it stop....

Larissa Riquelme's Boobs Now Holding Cellphones Professionally
Everyone's favorite Paraguayan model is shilling for Nokia and is now contractually obligated to put only that company's products between her breasts. That concludes this month's installment of Larissa Riquelme news. [Metro]...

Tim Tebow Named Most Eligible Christian Bachelor
We were cruising dating site Christian Partner For Life the other day, looking for a nice girl who does that hot thing where they wear a cross in their cleavage, and we stumbled across a singular honor for one Timothy Tebow....

Last Night's Winner: Notre Dame, Bending Television To Their Will
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Fighting Irish, who gain a competitive advantage by convincing NBC to change the way they do commercial breaks, which will facilitate their new up-tempo offense....

Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....

Miami University Cracking Down On Poopy, Pukey Sorority Parties
Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?...

Sumo Wrestlers Turn To iPads Because Of Giant Sausage Fingers
Japan's sumo association will be handing out iPads to the country's wrestlers, because cell phones are often too small for their hands. It's almost like they haven't heard of the Jitterbug....

Brazilian Referee Stabs Player To Death After Free-Kick Row
A Brazilian referee is on the run after fatally stabbing a player during a match in Barriera, northeast Brazil on Sunday....

Young Texas Footbrawl Fan: "Woo! We Got One of 'Em Hurt!"
Oh, the psychology of the Lone Star State high-school-football-scrimmage observer. This lil ditty here's from a Spring/Clear Spring preseason affair that done turned scrappy, so sayeth the people on 5atexasfootball.com....

Introducing Shawn Andrews: NFL Lineman, Aspiring Rap Impresario, Depression Sufferer
As beefing up their division rivals' rosters go, the Philadelphia Eagles rule. First was the QB to Washington. Now, the former All-Pro O-lineman they released in March signs with New York....

Last Night's Loser: Drama-Loving U.S. Open Fan, Third Row
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Nenad Krstic Was Arrested For Throwing That Chair
Following yesterday's basketbrawl at the Acropolis Tournament, Athens police arrested Nenad Krstic for his role in the fight since his chair hit Yannis Bouroussis, leaving Bouroussis with a "bloody wound on the side of his head." Plate-breakingly bizarre updates inside....

Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....

LeGarette Blount's Punching Problem
First there was this one. Then there was this one. Now, College Football Talk reveals another time Blount's temper was channeled through his fists. There's a good chance Blount's first career rushing stat in the NFL will be for -15 yards. [PFT/CFT]...