gi Page 604 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Eli Manning, Wayne Palmer: Same Guy
We're big fans of the television show "24," mainly because we love torture and can't quite believe Kiefer Sutherland somehow became tough as he got older. (We also have a serious crush on Chloe.) We're not exactly sold on this season, however, mainly because we refuse to believe a simpering wimp lik...
Barry Bonds Delivers One Into Your Gap
In the years that I've stopped paying attention, the memorabilia business has gone in directions I couldn't have anticipated... namely, up the ass....
NFL General Managers Make It Rain
The first twenty-four hours of the NFL's free agency period have come and gone. There was a flurry of activity last evening ... let's get ourselves caught up....
Barry Bonds Never Can Say Goodbye
The most telling exceprt from KGO radio's big interview with Barry Bonds on Tuesday? It wasn't that Bonds has apparently been getting death threats (there's enough nuts out there to make that sadly inevitable). Nor was it that Bonds says he feels "exhausted" (honestly, when hasn't he?). We're not ev...
Slightly Deep Inside The Brain Of Agent Zero
The best piece of writing we've ever read about Wizards space cadet Gilbert Arenas was the famous Wizznutzz psychological profile of Agent Zero, which includes this brilliant factoid: "Gil was at the birth of his daughter! It wasnt a tom cruise scientology "Silent birth" but Gil did put his Halo gam...
"Listen, I'm Fired Up Too, But Jeez, Dude!"
This video from last night's thrilling Texas A&M-Texas game is awfully shaky and, oh yeah, shot off a television, but it's still worth it, for one of the weirder moments of teammate camaraderie we've seen in a while....
The Giants Are Obsessed With Paula Abdul
You might remember last year, when Barry Bonds became the only man to ever dress up as Paula Abdul and not need fake breasts. (It was for the yearly Giants' "American Idol" contest, or something.) Well, the Giants pulled off the stunt again this year, and we have to say, this whole Barry Bonds and B...
Sure, Coach, I'll Take Some
University of Central Florida basketball head coach has some to give, and he doesn't quite know who to share it with. So he asks. And then, oh, does he give it out....
Craig Gower Also Has Time For Rugby
The Australian sporting landscape seems to have a different breed of derelicts than our own. When our athletes misbehave, someone ends up getting shot in a Vegas strip club. When Australian athletes misbehave, they walk naked around a resort and proposition the daughter of a sporting legend....
I Agree Completely, He Really Shouldn't Have Made It Rain
I hope that one more post doesn't overdo it on the Pacman Jones story, but I did particularly enjoy this report from WSMV in Nashville. One line in particular really does tell you all you need to know. "He shouldn't have made it rain, then." Yes....
The Last Night Of The Chief
Last night, as tons of teary-eyed Central Illinoisians will tell you this morning, was the final dance of Chief Illiniwek, the skipping, painted white-guy-dressed-up-as-Injun who has "performed" at halftime of our alma mater's sporting events for the last 80 years or so. Like most alums — or at leas...
Jim Sorgi Is Willing To Scrounge For Endorsement Opportunities
Indianapolis Colts backup quarterback Jim Sorgi — he of the crushed larynx and perpetual clipboard — apparently has a stiled, if bemused, sense of himself: He is actually applying to be the Maytag repairman spokesperson....
No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....
Gilbert Arenas Is Playing Russian Roulette With His ACL
As always, the greatest moments of All-Star Weekend happen when the "game" isn't actually on, and The 700 Level found perhaps the best one. During a commercial break, Gilbert Arenas — of course — decided to satisfy a lifelong curiosity and, playing along with the "entertainment," dunked off a trampo...
Reggie Bush Hurts His Ankle, But Not Without A Good Reason
As you might have heard, Reggie Bush suffered a minor ankle injury last night in some sort of lame "basketball" event on ESPN. I don't know who it was he was trying to swat. It was a white guy on the East team, which means it could have been David Arquette, Jamie Kennedy, or Bobby Flay (I think we c...
Rarely Are Pillow Fights Won So Decisively
We imagine that this is what the ancient Roman gladitorial games must have been like, if they fought with pillows, and one of the combatants was an incredible wuss. "Think that's the worst of it? Release the kitten!"...
Champaign's Long National Nightmare Is Over
As an old lifer at the Daily Illini, no story was less fun to talk about than Chief Illiniwek. We once had our own personal take on the embattled "symbol" of the University of Illinois, but we don't even remember what it was anymore: It was talked about every day, in the most banal and "emotional" t...
Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....
Mustache Love
A fun site is Morristache, the site that dares to celebrate both the glory that is Adam Morrison's mustache, and the mustache in general. One thing bothers us, however. Morristache includes a Hall of Fame section, in which such luminary mustaches as Rollie Fingers and Tom Selleck are included. But, ...
Charlie Weis Hates Internal Bleeding Much More Than He Hates Donuts
In case you've fallen behind on your coverage of failed gastric bypass surgery involving major college football coaches, Notre Dame head whale Charlie Weis is in Day One of his negligence trial in which doctors ignored internal bleeding warning signs. Weis underwent the surgery in 2002 because he wa...