go Page 433 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Florida Panthers Unveil New Logo And Jerseys
I certainly never hated any of the Panthers’ old uniforms. (Except that blue alternate they used for a couple of years. Blue? Come on.) I even kind of liked the leaping panther logo; it certainly dated the look, but not in a bad way, if that makes sense. Of the many teams that could use a makeover, ...
Padres Blow 10-Run Lead, Give Up Nine Runs With Two Outs, Are A Complete Embarrassment
As the 2001 Seattle Mariners know, no lead is safe. The 2016 version of that team revisited that lesson last night against the Padres, but ended up on the better side of it with the biggest comeback of the MLB season....
Shaun Livingston's Jumper Is The Poison On The Warriors' Blade
Imagine playing for the Cavaliers, and spending the better part of the last two nights stress-dreaming about how you will possibly be able to survive Steph Curry and Klay Thompson. Then imagine playing in Game 1 of the NBA Finals and escaping their wrath with nothing more than a 20-point flesh wound...
The Warriors Didn't Even Need Their Stars To Wallop The Cavs
Here’s how thorough the whooping the Warriors bench put on the Cavaliers in tonight’s 104-89 beatdown was: Shaun Livingston got a curtain call; the Cavs’ best highlight was a nutshot; Brandon Rush and Timofey Mozgov played; Golden State’s bench outscored Cleveland’s 45-5 before a brief garbage time ...
Matthew Dellavedova Thumps Andre Iguodala In The Dick And Balls
Earlier today, we had Matthew Dellavedova atop our rankings of the most hateable players in the NBA Finals, and he lived up to his billing in short order, striking the first blow against an opponent’s dick and balls. The victim? Andre Iguodala....
Donald Trump Doesn't Know Shit About The Bay Area
Vulgar olive loaf Donald Trump is hitting the campaign trail in California in advance of the state’s June 7 primary. A good way to appeal to your constituents is to show that you’re “one of them” by feigning nominal interest in their sports teams. If you do this, though, you should have a working se...
Whatever Happens, Anderson Varejão Is Going To Be A Dude With A Championship Ring
The Warriors are a ruthlessly efficient team run by a fiery, undersized center who will take out his anger on your dick and balls and a teeny-tiny point guard who carries himself with a non-insistent swagger, and they’re owned by a techno-libertarian pug who named his dogs after Ayn Rand characters....
Hatem Ben Arfa Won't Be At The Euros, But Let's Watch Him Flay Defenders Anyway
Overshadowed in the international selection controversy sparked by Eric Cantona’s comments and Karim Benzema’s fanning of the flames was Cantona’s lamentation that Hatem Ben Arfa wasn’t called up for the France team for the Euros. As understandable as the Ben Arfa snub is, it’s still sad. Because Be...
An Extremely Helpful NBA Finals Preview For Basketball Morons
Hello, casual basketball viewer! The NBA Finals begin tonight, pitting LeBron James’s Cleveland Cavaliers against Ayn Rand’s Golden State Warriors in a rematch of last season’s Finals, which the Warriors won in six games. Here’s what to expect, what to look for, and what to pretend to know about eac...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...
Don't Be Inspired By This Cubs Tattoo
I don’t begrudge this Cubs fan his enthusiasm or his desire to express it, even in a way that feels like the visual equivalent of using plural first person pronouns when recounting the accomplishments of more athletic strangers. I just think he made some choices that shouldn’t be emulated. Let’s loo...
Padres Chairman Shits All Over His Own Players
The San Diego Padres are a very bad baseball team. Nobody needs to be reminded that they are bad, and honestly nobody really cares. They are the Padres! Bad is their natural state. This has not been explained to executive chairman Ron Fowler, who went on the radio to rant about the team’s 20-33 reco...
Matt Albers Whacked The Most Improbable Game-Winning Hit Of The MLB Season
It was a pleasant enough day in New York City today, so the Mets and White Sox decided to play a few extra innings this afternoon. The White Sox eventually won, 2-1, in the 13th thanks to the heroics on both sides of the ball of relief pitcher Matt Albers....
GRRM Reads New Old Pages, Lending Credence To Insane <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Fan Theory
Famed no-pages-haver George R.R. Martin went to Balticon last weekend, revealed Brienne of Tarth’s secret lineage, and read some pages, which, despite their fresh unveiling, are old. He’s been slowly letting out advance chapters from The Winds Of Winter, the sixth volume in his A Song Of Ice And Fir...
These A's Fans Give Me Hope
When a foul ball settles in a hard-to-reach spot and is beset upon by more than one fan, bad things usually happen. Ostensible adults end up looking like fools, fighting each other over a trash can, or snatching a souvenir away from a child. But last night in Oakland, two A’s fans proved that a scru...
Mets Fan Beats Chris Sale In Rock-Paper-Scissors, Wins Autograph
Chris Sale didn’t pitch today against the Mets, but he did have time for a little pregame rock-paper-scissors with an autograph-seeking Mets fan. My man lost, like the White Sox have in his last two starts, and he graciously signed the autograph....
David Alaba Scored Just The Dumbest Own Goal
Transitioning from a bunch of Champions League games and a cup final to a relatively placid friendly against Malta can be a shock to the system. Rarely, however, does it result in such a hilarious, dumb own goal, like the one Bayern Munich star David Alaba scored on his own team this afternoon....
Padres Catcher Christian Bethancourt Made The Most Of His Chance To Pitch
The Padres got walloped 16-4 this afternoon by the Mariners, and they lost the first two games of a weird home and away pair of two-game series on opposite ends of the (American) Pacific coast by an aggregate score of 25-7. It only took Seattle five innings to accrue all their runs, which ushered in...
Oh My God, Look At This Giant Fucking Alligator
This impossibly large alligator was spotted on a golf course in Florida. I’m just gonna throw this out there, and feel free to disagree, but it is my opinion that this gator is too large. ...