hi Page 1670 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's The Scene That Awaited The Orlando Magic's Jason Richardson After Last Night's Pimp-Slap Ejection
Your morning roundup for April 23, the day we hear about how a Tennessee woman's heart stopped beating for five minutes as a Lady Gaga tribute....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit leaves Brown because of incessant teasing....
Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...
Juan Agudelo Scored A Special Goal Against DC United Last Night
It's weird to see an American striker do this. We're so used to our forwards scoring as a function of being in the right place at the right time. Agudelo scored last night despite bad service and good marking. He created this goal out of nothing. No more Jozy Altidore comparisons, please....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit somehow wakes Dante up from his eternal slumber and creates a 10th circle of Hell solely for dumbass libel suits of this nature to share ...
There's No Good Time To Call A Hockey Player "Hitler," But On Hitler's Birthday Is Especially Poor Timing
Versus announcer Brian Engblom, his mind perhaps on the NBCU re-branding, had an unfortunately slip of the tongue last night, calling Detroit's Jiri Hudler "Hitler." An innocent mistake: Hudler's Sudetenlander name doesn't quite roll off the tongue....
Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...
HOLY SHIT MONSTER JELLYFISH
That's the lion's mane jellyfish, which lives in the ocean and can apparently devour cities whole. I had no fucking idea this existed. COMPLETELY CHANGES THE GAME. I'm never going in the ocean again. Ever. I'm afraid to even take a goddamn bath now, lest this thing ooze out of the pipes and eats my ...
This Might Be The Dirtiest Hockey Play We've Seen In A While
Sabres shit-stirrer Patrick Kaleta is public enemy no. 1 in Philadelphia these days, after drawing Mike Richards into taking an elbowing major. And, of course, this one, where he might have unlocked the door to the bench so Nik Zherdev could be pushed through and taken out of the play....
Here Are Both Of Last Night's 2OT Cockpunches
Playoff hockey overtime might be the single greatest thing in the sports world — assuming your team isn't involved. Then it's a war of nail-biting, heart-stopping attrition, destined to end in glory and highlight compilations for one side, and wondering why you even bothered staying up late for th...
Phil Jackson's Zenergy Lulled At Least One Person To Sleep In L.A. Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 21, the day after McDonald's "National Hiring Day" in Cleveland got real. Real violent. Like, spitting in faces and hitting people with cars violent....
Here's Video Of The Cristiano Ronaldo Goal That Beat Barcelona Today
Real Madrid won the Copa del Rey over blood rival Barcelona 1-0 on an extra-time goal by pretty boy Cristiano Ronaldo. Great, chippy game settled on a header in the 103rd minute. As it stands, Real now leads the four-pronged El Clasico 1-0-1....
Holy Shit, This Guy From Arizona Really Might Not Have A Mouth
A Phoenix New Times story, headlined "Mouthless Meth Salesman Busted For Slangin' Meth, Keeping Unauthorized Shotgun Next To Bed," fails to answer one very important question: If Alan John Shepard doesn't actually have a jaw and/or mouth, what happened to it?...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit find its way into the wood chipper....
MLB Won't Let Us Show You Travis Snider Breaking His Bat Over His Knee, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Travis Snider struck out with the bases loaded in the sixth against the Yankees yesterday and Bo Jacksoned his bat in two. It was pretty cool, especially considering that Snider went on to win the game with a two-out double in the 10th. As you know, we can't show you the video, lest we step on MLB's...
High School Baseball Player Gets Awesomely Creative With His Slide At The Plate
Caleb Walker, a player for Tupelo High in Mississippi, rounded third with his team down a run last Thursday and decided he would score. Walker told WTVA that this play was "one of the greatest moments of my life" — and since our share of high school glory moments are nothing like this, we'll give ...
Kurt Warner Talks Dancing, Theodicy On His <em>Good Day L.A.</em> Interview
Of all places for Kurt Warner to get backed up against a wall, and then repeatedly and viciously head-butted about his religion, a Good Day L.A. interview was not our first guess. But yesterday, the former NFL quarterback and born-again Christian joined Jillian Reynolds, Steve Edwards, and Dorothy...
How These Two White Guys Wound Up In This Kendrick Perkins Family Photo
Like most white guys from suburban Boston, half-brothers Brian Johnson and Justin Tsouros had never hung out with an NBA player. So when they arrived at the condo in Waltham, Mass., one evening in the fall of 2007, they didn't quite know what to expect. The place was dark. The blinds were drawn. But...
Jackass Columnist Blames Pitcher For Choosing Childbirth Over Pitching
I'm not a local, so I don't know how much of Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt's schtick might be part of his on-air radio personality, but I'm still going to bring your attention to this gem of a column:...