hi Page 1951 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It Is Important To Keep Tony Banks Fed
It's important to remember your duties as the wife of an NFL quarterback. You're required to show up at charity functions, look the other way on those road trips, make sure your eye makeup is spackled on and, of course, making sure your fumbling, erratic husband is properly fed. Eventually, they'll ...
Ryan Howard Gives Philly Something Small To Be Happy About
Hey, Philly fans, good news: No need to cause bodily harm to yourself or others. You finally have a beacon of light in Philadelphia. One might even say it's always sunny....
Hirshey: Meeting The Deadspin Three
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Goodnight, Sweet Knights
Before anyone becomes too caught up in the Who Will Ohio State Play In The BCS Title Game? talk, let's take a moment to lament the end of college football's best storyline, the Rutgers Scarlet Knights, who laid an egg against Cincinnati, losing 30-11 and ending any (probably fanciful anyway) dream...
Look, The Cubs Actually Spent Some Cash. A LOT Of It
Say what you will about the Chicago Cubs, but they aren't letting a little thing like an impending sale stand in the way of paying a ridiculous amount for a big name. In a move that should put those A-Rod rumors to the crematorium, the Cubs signed Alfonso Soriano to an eight-year, $136 million dea...
Hugh Johnson Update: Bonus Edition
And somewhere, Maurice Clarett asks his cellmate to get off him for a second, so he can check out the final score and smile....
Bo's Had Enough Time To Get Settled In By Now, So Let's Do This
That'll just about do it for the masturbation. It's time to get at it. Kickoff's in just a few minutes, and I honestly don't feel overwhelmed by the hype. The game is big enough that a week of ESPN-brand hype wasn't enough to kill it for me—and that doesn't happen often. Give Brent Musberger a few m...
Today In The Premiership...
• Sheffield United 1-2 Manchester United. Wayne Rooney put Manchester United on his back today and earned them a crucial 2-1 victory over Sheffield United. Sheffield led after a goal in the 13th minute, but a couple of clean Rooney strikes gave the Reds the win. I don't think Rooney's performance ...
The Dead Dead Schembechlers
It was a phenomenal little ride while it lasted, but the Dead Schembechlers are no more. The punk band announced last night that their performance at the Hate Beat Michigan rally would be their last. They also elected to give all proceeds from their final show to a charity of the Schembechler family...
Is The Jemele Hill Salary Figure Wrong?
The arrival of Jemele Hill to Page 2 has been surrounded with discussion, mostly because of her apparent salary, reported by The Big Lead as $400,000 over two years....
Schembechler Dead at 77
Some scary news out of Detroit: Former Michigan coach Bo Schembechler is listed in critical condition after collapsing with an undisclosed ailment this morning. Radio stations in the area have reported that Schembechler had just filmed a game promo for a local ABC affiliate when he collapsed....
Valenti's Great Leap Forward
You might remember the great, mad meltdown of Michigan State Spartans broadcaster Mike Valenti after his team lost to Notre Dame earlier this year. Well, The Wizard Of Odds has found a YouTube of Valenti's demented rant set to music and Spartans football "highlights." Not only is it wonderful to rev...
Just Two More Days Until Mayhem Reigns
Time to wrap up today with a little game you might have heard about. We were scooped dramatically by ESPN on the Dead Schembechlers, but we will still try to keep up....
The Perils Of Being An Athlete
It's hard out there for an athlete; they face all sorts of dangers that the rest of us mere mortals don't need to fret about it. This is probably why they're all packing heat....
Welcome To Page 2, Ms. Hill
By our rudimentary calculations, new Page 2 columnist Jemele Hill, who made her debut on the site today, will write roughly 92 columns for the site during her two-year deal. (We assumed two a week, with at least six weeks off for vacations and holidays; we're probably being too generous.) As reporte...
Man, If These Guys Can't Get Tickets, No One Can
More Ohio State-Michigan fun: How big is the game this Saturday? Jeez, not even Nickelback can get tickets....
Kobe Bryant's Slightly More Frivolous Lawsuit
The words "Kobe Bryant Lawsuit" is enough to make tongues wag — or, uh, other things do, er, other things — but the most recent Bryant lawsuit doesn't involve Aspen hotel rooms or inappropriately tossed T-shirts; instead, a Memphis Grizzlies fan — proof of their existence! — has slapped Bryant with ...
Today In The Upcoming Bloodbath
Well, if it's Tuesday, it must be time for an update on The Game To End All Games, the No. 1 vs. No. 2 Ohio State-Michigan sluggaroo this Saturday. We remain incredibly fond of this matchup and aren't particularly worried about it being "overhyped," as they say, because anyone in danger of fatigue c...
You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression
When you're a rookie heading into the cauldron that is the NFL, particularly when you might be replacing a future Hall of Famer, it's important to make as strong an impression as possible....