houstontexans Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
J.J. Watt's Mom Wants Him To Fix His Nose
J.J. Watt's already intimidating without blood on his face, but when he does bust open his nose, like he did in Week 4 against the Seahawks, it makes him terrifying. Imagine being a quarterback, seeing a six-foot-five behemoth with a bloody face trying to take him to the turf. This injury recurs eve...
The Texans Have The Saddest Christmas Tree In The NFL (Naturally)
The Wall Street Journal assigned eight members of its sports staff to judge photos of 29 of 32 NFL teams' Christmas trees. Because the universe bends toward order, the Texans have the very worst. ...
Andre Johnson Spent Over $17,000 On Toys For Kids
Texans receiver Andre Johnson held his annual holiday toy shopping spree today at Toys R' Us for a dozen kids (and their siblings) from Child Protective Services. He ended up spending a total of $17,352. That receipt in his right hand is roughly the size of one Danny Woodhead....
Texans Fire Gary Kubiak
How bad has Houston been? Gary Kubiak's mini-stroke only bought him a month. Kubiak, who's had the job since 2006, is out as coach, a day after the Texans' second loss to the Jaguars. "The last straw was losing," owner Bob McNair said. "We've got a lot better talent than Jacksonville."...
The Best Part Of Tonight's Texans-Jaguars Game
You haven't missed much by ignoring tonight's Texans-Jaguars game. Here's one entertaining highlight, though: DeAndre Hopkins and Alan Ball slapping each other around. Come on, guys, stop fighting about whose team is worse. They're both awful....
Two Houston Security Guards Fired For Taking Photos With Tom Brady
Dude on the right, you could at least smile for the picture that cost you your job....
Antonio Smith Accuses The Patriots Of Spying
The Patriots, down 17-7 at the break, put up 27 points on Houston in the second half. That's been New England's M.O. recently, but Texans DE Antonio Smith thinks the turnaround was more than a little suspicious....
Andre Johnson Is Sad
This afternoon, the Texans, who suck, lost to the Jaguars, who suck to some really historic degrees. That has made a lot of people in Houston sad, and apparently introspective. People like Andre Johnson. Here he is talking to a delightfully trolly ESPN reporter: ...
A Three-Man Front Is A Late-Game Defensive Formation For Suckers
The weekend, as I watched the absurd denouement of the Northwestern-Michigan game, something struck me as familiar — beyond the now-routine bumblefuckery that inspires the Wildcats to turn fourth-quarter leads into triple-overtime losses. No, it wasn't simply that Michigan drove in the dregs of game...
Andre Johnson And Matt Schaub Yell At Each Other While Losing
It's been a horrendous season for the Texans already. Losing to the Raiders and falling to 2-8 just adds more frustration....
Gary Kubiak Had A "Mini-Stroke" Sunday Night
The medical term for what happened to Gary Kubiak at halftime last night is a transient ischemic attack, or TIA. The difference between a TIA and an ischemic stroke is that the obstruction and symptoms are temporary (or transient) as opposed to a true stroke where an obstruction in a blood vessel ...
Gary Kubiak Remains Hospitalized; Did Not Have Heart Attack Or Stroke
Though his vital signs are reportedly normal, Texans head coach Gary Kubiak remains in the hospital to undergo further tests today after collapsing at halftime of last night's game. He did not suffer a heart attack, the team announced, and did not suffer a stroke, according to the Houston Chronicle,...
![Texans Coach Gary Kubiak Collapses On Field During Game [UPDATING]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1959no56emkqtjpg.jpg)
Texans Coach Gary Kubiak Collapses On Field During Game [UPDATING]
Head coach Gary Kubiak collapsed on the field during halftime of tonight's Colts-Texans game....
Report: Texans Rookies Were Released For Smoking Weed
ESPN's Tania Ganguli is reporting that Cierre Wood, Sam Montgomery, and Willie Jefferson—the three Houston Texans rookie who were unceremoniously cut from the team yesterday—were released because they were caught smoking weed in a hotel room. [Exaggerated wanking motion]....
Report: Houston Texans Cut Three Players After Incident In Hotel Room
Either Cierre Wood, Sam Montgomery, and Willie Jefferson were doing some seriously crazy shit in a Kansas City hotel room this weekend, or Gary Kubiak fancies himself a bit of a Schiano Man. There's really no other way to explain why all three players were released from the Houston Texans' roster th...
Texans Blast "No-Class" Fans For Cheering Matt Schaub's Injury
The urge is understandable. The Texans have been losing, and losing ugly, and Matt Schaub has looked awful. And then he's injured, and the id says This means someone else is going to be our quarterback! and the instinct is to cheer that. But usually, human decency or at least basic self-awareness st...
Vince Young Is Trying To Get A Job By Sending Sad Tweets Again
We've been down this road before with Vince Young. Last season, he sent very sad tweets to both the Tennessee Titans and Larry Fitzgerald, letting both parties know that he was still available to play quarterback in the NFL. Like, extremely available. Yesterday, Young was up to his old sad tricks....
