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Tony La Russa Tries To Convince Us That The Diamondbacks Aren't Assholes
Diamondbacks chief baseball officer Tony La Russa is sick and tired of everyone giving his team shit for drilling opposing batters for petty and stupid reasons. He wants everyone to know that if you are going to pitch inside against the Diamondbacks, then you need to be ready for your star player to...
This Is The Best Excuse For Failing A Breathalyzer Test
The Daily Mirror's Sophie Gadd called attention to this News of the Weird item, and we here at Deadspin had some thoughts about it. We discussed it in our staff chatroom....
Dude's Massive Rave Leads To Historically Great Local News Segment
This is a local news report about James Taylor, a wonderfully goatee'd, 20-year-old West Michigan man who threw a big-ass party at his house that featured multiple DJs, fire-throwers, go-go dancers, and about 2,000 attendees. It's a really funny news report, but it achieves transcendence around the ...
Pirates Still Stewing Over Controversial Walk-Off Loss
The Diamondbacks won last night on a walk-off fielder's choice in the 10th, as Nick Ahmed successfully broke up the Pirates' potential double-play by getting hit in the arm by Jayson Nix's throw to first. Pretty perfect positioning with that arm, actually. Maybe a little too perfect....
Diamondbacks Peg Andrew McCutchen In Back; McCutchen Furious
Pirates outfielder Andrew McCutchen took a pitch to his back in Saturday night's game against the Diamondbacks. On a 2-0 count, Arizona reliever Randall Delgado plunked McCutchen. It looked painful, but McCutchen wasn't seriously injured. McCutchen was visibly furious, not at the beaning, but beca...
Adam Duritz Receives Birthday Greeting From <i>AARP The Magazine</i>
Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz, one of the least polarizing and most objectively audio-visually soothing singers in rock 'n' roll history, is a half-century old today. This has attracted the notice of the official magazine for the American Association of Retired Persons, which is far more Twi...
Home Run Explodes In Woman's Beer Cup
At least three people tried to catch this home run—although "tried" might be a stretch for the guy in orange—and it eluded all of them. With all the hands in front of her face, this poor woman made no attempt whatsoever to catch the ball, and probably assumed at least one of the dudes around her w...
The Pirates Couldn't Have Made Two Sadder Outs Than These
How do you turn getting walked to load the bases into getting picked off for a double-play? A good way to start is to be the Pirates....
Man Seeks Girls To Host Fantasy Football Draft, Possibly While Topless
The cool bro you see above is, according to this Craigslist post, looking for two girls to host his upcoming fantasy football draft. All he needs is a couple of girls to run the draft board, serve the fellas some drinks, and, you know, wear a bikini or some sexy lingerie and maybe even pop those...
Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]
This horrible incident occurred on one of New York's Metro North trains, which are often booze-fueled nightmares, full of shit-hammered White Plains residents trying to get home at 1:45 a.m. after drinking themselves stupid in the Meatpacking District....
Josh Harrison Overshoots Second Base, Somehow Escapes Rundown
Pirates utility man Josh Harrison overshot second base on his steal attempt in Sunday's game against the Rockies, so he took his only option left and kept going to third. It worked!...
U.S. Rep Mistakes American Officials For Foreigners; Awkwardness Reigns
The Cable at Foreign Policy has documented the collapse of the American government. In a congressional hearing on Thursday, Rep. Curt Clawson of the 19th District of Florida, mistook two senior American officials, Nisha Biswal and Arun Kumar, for representatives from the Indian government, and repea...
GM Gets Prostate Exam In Stadium, Sings "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"
Andy Milovich, general manager of the Texas Rangers' Single-A affiliate Myrtle Beach Pelicans, took minor league baseball stunts to a whole new level. He got a prostate exam in front of the whole stadium at tonight's game against the Frederick Keys and did so during the seventh-inning stretch while ...
Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town
Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are cl...
Man Who Helped Kill Women's Pro Soccer Dies While Playing Soccer
Early this morning rumors began to swirl that Dan Borislow, the millionaire entrepreneur whose legal war with Women's Professional Soccer was instrumental in bringing about the league's demise, had died at the age of 52. Bloomberg has since confirmed that Borislow died last night of a heart attack a...
Kliff Kingsbury's Swaggy And Expensive-Looking Watch Is Probably Fake
Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury, the man who has gone to great lengths to craft a "James Bond coaches football" image for himself, showed up at Big 12 media days sporting a very expensive-looking watch. People on Twitter were taken aback by the watch, a Breitling Mulliner Tourbillon model that...
Idiot On The Field Evades Police, Gets Gerardo Parra Selfie
It was only a matter of time before these things started becoming regular. Here's your latest Idiot On The Field to use the opportunity for selfie-taking, tonight in Phoenix. ...
Baseball Marks On The Green Monster
Over at National Geographic dig this cool article by Sarah Polger on the photographs CJ Gunther takes of the baseball marks on the Green Monster at Fenway Park. ...
Minor League Baseball Fan Tries To Fight Opposing Pitcher After HBP
It got hot in the Texas League last night as a fan of the AA Corpus Christi Hooks charged the mound to attack Midland RockHounds pitcher Blake Hassebrock in the fifth inning....