ill Page 500 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Matt Phillips Scores 45-Yard Wonder Goal
QPR has only won one game in their last 12 across all competitions and it looks likely that they will be relegated, but they can take some measure of solace in scoring a strong goal of the year contender. Down 0-3 to a Crystal Palace side resurgent under Alan Pardew, Matt Phillips's belter spectac...
Bill Simmons Is A Name-Dropping Waste
So Bill Simmons offered a "sneak" preview today of the third part of his NBA Trade Value column. And yes, his self-mythologizing has gotten to the point where he a) breaks some random-ass rankings into three parts, b) releases a "sneak preview" of the third part of those rankings because "we couldn...
Read The Bullshit Charts A "Scientist" Is Hawking To Sports Teams
Every team wants the perfect draft pick. It's a deceptively simple-sounding goal that haunts every executive in sports, because they are being asked to do the nearly impossible—predict what human beings will do. Sure, every few years a player like Andrew Luck or Bryce Harper comes along who simply...
This Bill Walton Tangent Is One For The Ages
Bill Walton has carved out a nice space for himself as the Harry Caray of basketball broadcasts, and he went on one of his weird tangents during last night's game between Stanford and Utah. I don't want to spoil anything, but make sure you stick it out to the end....
What's Going On With This Tie, Patrick?
Patrick Willis officially announced his retirement today at a press conference, where he wept openly and cited scripture. Journalists gave him a standing ovation, which was weird. And for reasons that escape us, he also wore his tie as pictured above. ...
Cops: 49ers Fullback Bruce Miller Arrested For Spousal Battery
San Francisco 49ers fullback Bruce Miller has been arrested for misdemeanor spousal battery, according to Santa Clara Police Department records. The records show that Miller—who got engaged last August—was arrested at 11:55 p.m. Thursday, March 5, at an undisclosed location:...
Ángel Di María Gets Ice Grill, Then Red Card For Grabbing Ref
About a minute before the GIF you see above, referee Michael Oliver gave Manchester United's Ángel Di María a yellow card for an obvious dive. Frustrated and angry, Di María decided to snatch at the back of the ref's shirt, demanding an explanation. That's when Oliver pierces Di María's soul with th...
Penn State's D.J. Newbill Hits Buzzer-Beater With Hand All In His Face
D.J. Newbill might not be a household name, nor will he likely become one during the coming NCAA Tournament his Nittany Lions probably won't make, but he is the Big Ten's leading scorer and is capable of moments like this buzzer-beating three that gave Penn State the win over Minnesota....
This Monstrous Dunk Comes With Its Own Poster
It almost doesn't matter that St. John's got bodied by Villanova, 105-68, as the Wildcats clinched the Big East regular season title. Not when a photographer so perfectly captured Johnnies sophomore guard Rysheed Jordan doing this to Nova's Dylan Ennis:...
Aston Villa Fans Invade The Pitch As Team Advances To FA Cup Semis
With 90 seconds left in extra time and Aston Villa all but assured of advancing to the semifinals of the FA Cup, Villa fans were hyped! I get that playing in Wembley is exciting especially because you have that song about playing in Wembley, but invading the pitch before the game ends against West B...
Marseille Goalie Catches Water Bottle Chucked At Him From The Stands
Marseille beat Toulouse 6-1 last night, and a Toulouse fan—perhaps upset that Toulouse is on track to be relegated—tried to take his frustrations out by chucking a water bottle at Steve Mandanda. But the fan couldn't have picked a worse target, as Mandanda is Marseille's goalkeeper, where his entire...
WWE Trainer Resigns After Allegations Of Abusing Wrestlers
Bill DeMott, a former pro wrestler who got a job as the developmental trainer for WWE's branch NXT—think of it as a farm system—stepped down today after numerous allegations of abuse. ...
The Tears Of A Clown
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Wisconsin Freshmen Practice Not Dying While Diving For Loose Balls
Wisconsin is playing at Minnesota right now, which provides a unique challenge: the raised floors of Williams Arena. The Golden Gophers gym is one of the last few in America that features a raised floor—of about two feet—and the Badger freshmen have likely never played on one. So yesterday feature...
Maurice Jones-Drew Is Retiring
Running back Maurice Jones-Drew just announced his retirement from the NFL, which is oddly affecting, because he was tiny and strong and great and so much fun to watch....
Yawn: Just Another Unbelievable Messi Pass For Neymar To Chip Home
Jeez, we get it guys, you three Barcelona forwards can score whenever you want. But how many times this season have we seen the ball go from Suárez to Messi to the Twilight Zone to Neymar and into the net? Maybe switch it up once or twice. You know, for our sake....
Bills Trade For Matt Cassel
The Bills announced they've agreed on a trade with the Vikings for QB Matt Cassel, with undisclosed draft picks heading both ways. Doesn't really matter! The new-look Bills have a quarterback. Sort of....