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Aussie Rules Football Coach Killed, Son Held For The Stabbing
Phil Walsh, the head coach of the Australian Football League’s Adelaide Crows, was stabbed to death in his home at around 2:00 a.m. Australian time today. Paramedics and police arrived after somebody in the house (likely Walsh’s wife) called Australia’s version of 911, but they were unable to save h...

Justin Turner's Future Self Shows Up In Arizona
Is this the twin of Baseball Sasquatch Justin Turner, or a time-traveling version from the future? Either way, the two didn’t talk....

Put Peas In Your Guacamole If You Want To
Once upon a time, sure as you are born, some dingus was all, “Onions?!?! In your guacamole?!?! You motherfuckers!”...

Phil Kessel And Leafs Fans Deserve Better Than The Toronto Media
The only value in the Steve Simmons column that everyone’s talking about this morning is the news that Phil Kessel eats a street hot dog every damn day. Personally, I think that’s funny and humanizing. Toronto’s troll-columnist-in-chief uses it as a fat joke, and exhibit A in the case for Kessel bei...


A Lakers Story, In Four Tweets
The Lakers had the first crack at meeting with free agent LaMarcus Aldridge last night. They were actually the first of several teams to get a meeting, and Aldridge insisted that all meetings happen in L.A. Lots of people were excited about the meeting. ...

Dee Gordon's Inside-The-Parker Was The Fastest Home Run On Record
Granted, the record only goes back six seasons. But damn, Dee Gordon is fast:...

Jim Harbaugh, Colin Cowherd Combine For A Disastrous Interview
Jim Harbaugh called into drive-time ratfuck Colin Cowherd’s radio show this morning for an interview, and it was spectacularly awful. Cowherd was throwing every possible question at the Michigan football coach, and Harbaugh couldn’t generate any semblance of dialogue. Cowherd ended up cutting the in...

Reports: GM Jerry Dipoto Forced Out in Anaheim
Jerry Dipoto has learned an inviolable rule of working for the Angels: get into a power struggle with Arte Moreno’s guy, and you’re not going to win it. According to multiple reports, the Anaheim GM resigned and packed up his office last night....

Report: Mike Richards Stopped At Canadian Border With Oxycodone
According to TMZ, former Kings center Mike Richards was stopped at the Canadian border two weeks ago and “questioned about oxycodone pills,” but has not been charged with any crime. (Update: According to the Winnipeg Sun, Richards was arrested at the border.) Rumors and allegations of substance abus...

God Bless Patrick Kane, Beautiful Karaoke Moron
You should never make fun of people for singing karaoke poorly, because the whole point of karaoke is to get drunk and yell and cause ruckus. But I think it’s okay to poke fun at Chicago Blackhawks party boy Patrick Kane, who does something delightfully stupid at about the two-minute mark of this cl...

Actually, Cats Are Fine
If you are looking for the perfect pet, one that will give you endless hours of delight and a lifetime of love, keep looking. Cats are not those pets. But cats are okay, so lay off them, man....

Cats: They're Bad
You walk into a cat house and you know it right away: A crazy person lives here. No amount of vacuuming, air-freshening, laundering, or outright bleaching will banish the insidious juniper reek of feline; a cat house smells like a cat house, and for this we can be grateful, because it lets us know n...

Report: Angels' GM Accuses Coaches Of Ignoring Scouting Reports
According to a report from Fox Sports’ Ken Rosenthal, Angels manager Mike Scioscia and GM Jerry Dipoto are feudin’ again. The two have never quite gotten along—following the 2012 season it appeared that one or both would have to be fired—but this latest tension surrounds a battle for the strategic h...

Report: Phil Mickelson Connected To $2.75 Million Money Laundering Case
Phil Mickelson’s money was at the heart of a recently concluded federal money laundering case, according to ESPN’s Outside the Lines. OTL reports on the case of Gregory Silveira, who plead guilty last week to money laundering charges for moving $2.75 million through multiple bank accounts in an ille...


Cops: All-SEC Ole Miss Offensive Lineman Punched Stepfather
Oxford police took Ole Miss junior offensive tackle Laremy Tunsil into custody and charged him with domestic violence after a Thursday incident that allegedly featured the All-SEC lineman punching his stepfather....

Referee Botches End Of Title Bout; Timothy Bradley Takes WBO Belt
Referee Pat Russell stopped tonight’s Timothy Bradley-Jessie Vargas title fight before the final bell, believing the bout to be over and stripping Vargas of his chance to knock out a clearly dazed Bradley in the last seconds....