ing Page 1684 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hirshey: Meeting The Deadspin Three
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Look, The Cubs Actually Spent Some Cash. A LOT Of It
Say what you will about the Chicago Cubs, but they aren't letting a little thing like an impending sale stand in the way of paying a ridiculous amount for a big name. In a move that should put those A-Rod rumors to the crematorium, the Cubs signed Alfonso Soriano to an eight-year, $136 million dea...

Start Saving Up For A Good Boning, Courtesy Of Mike Tyson
Here comes the perfect opportunity for the first-ever Ladies Only Deadspin Field Trip: Mike Tyson has reportedly agreed to be a male prostitute at Heidi Fless's new manwhorehouse in Nevada....

Barbaro Forever
Good news for Barbaro fans. If the worst should happen, there's still hope that "Bobby" will not be gone for good. In Austin Texas, scientists successfully cloned a barrel-racing horse named Scamper....

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Ricky Manning Jr.
We're off to the next first-round matchup, and this one seems likely to be more of a blowout than the potential upset brewing in the Roethlisberger-Mikulik matchup. (Polls are open, by the way, until all first round matchups are completed.)...

Emmitt Smith, You Are A Champion! The Emptiness Is Temporarily Gone!
It appears that American can finally release its collective tension: "Dancing With The Stars" has finally crowned a winner. And it's none other than ... Emmitt Smith! Yes, the former Cowboys (and Buzzsaw) running back emerged victorious last night, barely edging out Mario Lopez, and any contest in...

You Know, Bonds Is Gonna Look Like This In A Few Years
We don't mean to be crude here, but heavens to Betsy: This woman is going to live on in our nightmares....

You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression
When you're a rookie heading into the cauldron that is the NFL, particularly when you might be replacing a future Hall of Famer, it's important to make as strong an impression as possible....

The Joy Of The 2006 Skins
This video, captured yesterday, pretty sums up everything you need to know about the Washington Redskins' season so far. Careful, kids; you might need those brains someday. Though probably not....

It's Barbaro's World, We Just Live In It
Well, it's finally happened: Barbaro is now getting letters from other horses. We know this is true because the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine is screening all e-mail to the Barbaro message board these days, and this one got through:...

You Need Sunglasses To Watch This Team Play
College basketball is slowly tipping off, with a bunch of high-profile schools taking turns writing a check to places like Savannah State and Florida A&M and letting the backups get some work in while cruising to uninspired 25-point victories. (Our Illini begin this process tonight against old nemes...

NBA Roundup: Ming Went The Strings Of My Heart
Notes from today's games in the National Basketball Association:...

A Very Unmanly Night Of Boxing
At Madison Square Garden tonight, Muhammad Ali will be in the house, and the IBF heavyweight title is on the line. There was a time when that would've meant something. Tonight, however, Muhammad's only there to support his daughter, and the guy who's challenging for the world heavyweight title would...

Fred Smoot's Blanket Coverage
We were just forwarded this shot, from an MSNBC gallery, from last Sunday's Vikings-49ers game. You might not be able to tell from the photo — perhaps you are distracted by the ass — but the defender on the play? None other than Fred Smoot....

Etan Thomas Has Got Your Peace RIGHT HERE
When Washington Wizards forward Etan Thomas isn't busy extolling the virtues of Abe Pollin's prostate in lyrical poem form or reminding us that David Stern doesn't care about black people, apparently, he whittles away the hours getting in fights with teammate Brendan Haywood....

Unpretentious, With Just A Hint Of Laundry Hamper
Strawberries, cherries and and angel's kiss in spring ... this Ditka wine is really made from all these things ......

Your Tuesday Barbaro Update
It's almost that time of the year again, when Santa hitches Barbaro to his sleigh and delivers gifts to all the good boys and girls throughout the world (except France). What happened to Santa's reindeer? All we'll say: Don't look in the freezer....

Another "Outstanding" Regular Season Manning Triumph
There is a temptation to point out that if Peyton Manning had thrown four interceptions at home on national television against his biggest rival, he would have been vilified by anyone with a keyboard yet again for being a choker; because it was Tom Brady who did it, it was just an "off night" for ...

Cut. That. Meat.
Well, the time has finally come. It's almost time for the Colts and Patriots to kick off, and thus, for Peyton Manning to engage in a no-win situation. If he loses, he's still firmly entrenched in the role of Tom Brady's lawnboy. If he wins, it's a meaningless regular season game that won't even be ...

Paul Tracy Can't Drive
When you're drunk and blessed with a natural immaturity, there are few things in life that seem like a better idea than taking a golf cart out for a joyride. Champ Car racer Paul Tracy agrees. At least, he did about a week ago, before he his golf cart flipped and landed on his drunk ass, breaking ...