ing Page 1691 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"You Want Me To Do That With You?"
The mad geniuses at Free Darko aren't taking the summer off: They're finding absolute gems like this video, which features Timberwolves superstar Kevin Garnett gets his Bob Harris on while visiting an Asian television show....
God, Training Camp Is So Disgusting
Far be it from us to tell any football team how to run their business, particularly during the big petri dish of sweat and blood and all kinds of other disgusting things in the midst of training camp, but we suspect a new policy the 'Skins have put into place might have been worthwhile to institut...
Yao Ming's Big, Big Stand
Houston Rockets center Yao Ming doesn't just spend his offseasons taking a stroll or two around the track. He also spends it saving elephants by swatting away bullets heading toward them directly out of the air. See, he's not just tall; he's made of some sort of indestructible material....
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Big Ten
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and...
Not Looking Good For Mr. Landis
For those still holding out hope that Tour de France winner Floyd Landis is truly the nice Mennonite boy who feel victim to an unfortunate, accidental circumstance involving testosterone on Jack Daniels, The New York Times has some bad news today....
Jim Bowden Knows When To Hold 'Em
So the big story of yesterday's trade deadline, as tends to be the case, turned out to be what not happened: Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden hung on to impending free agent Alfonso Soriano rather than flipping for prospects, or cash, or beans, or whatever. Because the Natinoals are...
Americans Continue To Lead The World In Mysteriously Tainted Urine
The world's fastest man, Justin Gatlin, has failed a pee-pee test, and, stop me if you've heard this before, claims he didn't do anything wrong. Both his 'A' and 'B' samples came up positive for unusually high amounts of synthetic testosterone....
Iowans Are Easily Entertained
"Wow, look at Lance Armstrong, eatin' that pie. Just look at him." "I wonder if there's EPO in that pie." "Is he going to eat the whole thing?" "He might. He's got incredible endurance." "Screw pie, man. You wanna see someone eat some pie? I'll eat some goddamn pie. I'll eat five of them." "Just ...
This Type Of Blood Doping, We Can Get Behind
So Tour de France winner / testosterone ratio out-of-whacker Floyd Landis called a press conference today to defend himself against the charge of elevating his testosterone. His explanation, as far as we're concerned, is brilliant....
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who Will Be The Next Broadcaster Hit With Sexual Harassment?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think of him....
The Peter King-KSK Standoff
The rockers over at Kissing Suzy Kobler would like to let you know that they are reasonable people. All they want out of life is to make a few humorous comments about sports, go home to their families and perhaps enjoy a Krispy Kreme. Or three. But even reasonable people can be pushed to the edge, a...
Oh, So This Is Where Floyd Landis Has Been
Note on the photo at right: Moments after it was taken, two bears on unicycles were seen riding the trail in the opposite direction, one of them wearing a purple jacket. But anyway, that's not why we showed you this. The 13th Unicycle World Championships are being held right now and run through Aug....
Floyd Landis Has Had A Bad Day
On what is obviously already the most difficult day of his professional life, it must be nice for cyclist Floyd Landis to know that the people closest to him in his life totally have his back....
As If Barbaro (And The Rest Of Us) Haven't Suffered Enough
In New York City today, it is sunny, pleasant, warm, slightly overcast but mostly cheerful. We've got some good music on the stereo, a cool icy beverage at our desk and, overall, we're feeling all right about the planet and our place in it....
Floyd Landis About To Become Decidedly Less Popular
There have been tons of rumors circulating around Tour de France champion Floyd Landis, who has gone missing from two races he was scheduled for this week. No one can get a hold of him, and race organizers were "annoyed."...
Daniel Snyder Appreciates Your Checkbook
We have always found the notion of Fan Appreciation Days amusing. Even though every single salary of every single player in every single sport is paid for exclusively by fans — whether it be tickets, merchandise, cable bills, whatever — big-time sports still feel the need to acknowledge the fans o...
A.J Hawk's Shotgunnish Wedding?
If you were trying to book a wedding next March in Columbus, Ohio, over the last few months — not that anybody we know might have been — one of the primo spots in town was booked for a huge, lavish wedding between former Ohio State Buckeyes and current Green Bay Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk and La...
Contagious Headbutting Sickness Strikes Again
Hey kids, time to drag out those scissors and the colored construction paper once again, because there's a horse in trouble. No, not Barbaro; he's relaxing in Pennsylvania watching premium cable. This time it's City Affair, a race horse in Britain which was — get this — headbutted by jockey Paul O...
Apparently, Lance Likes It In The Rear Too
For all the talk last week about the supposed "offensiveness" of Lance Armstrong's joke at the ESPYs about Jake Gyllenhaal "liking it in the rear," many have noticed that the non-doping Tour de France dominator and the guy who looks like Spider-Man but isn't have been hanging out a bunch of late. ...
On Your Marks ... Get Set ... Shuffle!
On Friday, we told you about Extreme Day, a horse racing promotional event that featured skateboarding, clockwise (backwards) racing and, our favorite, jockey races. (Complete with gates!)...