k Page 2574 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....
Joey Votto Gets Tossed, Goes Berserk, Has To Be Held Back By Ump
The Reds may be approximately one million games out of the playoffs, but that doesn’t mean Joey Votto is mailing it in. In the middle of an at-bat during the 8th inning of tonight’s game against the Pirates, Votto was unhappy that home plate ump Bill Welke didn’t grant him time and/or made a bad str...
A Layman's Guide To The New iPhones, And Apple's Other New Crap
Earlier today, Apple Inc., a failing novelty-watch interest based in California, announced a new range of products. You can claw through technical explanations of the tick-tock of every little thing, but this is a guide for everything normal people actually need to know....
And Now, Our Favorite <i>Key & Peele</i> Sketches
For nearly four years, Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have been among the best at dishing out incisive racial comedy to a generation that sorely needed it. Whether making lighthearted jabs at pop-culture trends or tackling serious political issues, their sketches were at their best when they we...
The Cardinals Played A Center Fielder Who Can't Throw
The Cardinals just beat the Cubs 4-3 in the last of a three-game set, avoiding the sweep and earning one of those Important Victories that will be referenced when the team’s playoff readiness is discussed. It was an exciting game, complete with a three-run, eighth-inning rally and some spectacular p...
College QBs Are Unprepared For The NFL
The Wall Street Journal has an interesting story on what some NFL coaches and executives consider a “crisis” over the future of the quarterback position: an increasing number of prospects, nurtured within the uptempo and spread offenses that are sweeping college football, who enter the league wholly...
Report: Cops Tackle, Handcuff James Blake After Mistaking Him For Identity Theft Suspect
Former No. 4 ranked tennis player James Blake was tackled and handcuffed by five plainclothes officers outside his hotel in Manhattan today, according to the New York Daily News. The cops misidentified Blake for a suspect in an identity theft ring....
America Has Always Wanted To Pretend That Sports Aren't Work
Last month, given the chance to affirm that college athletes have basic labor rights, the National Labor Review Board punted. It’s rare that a sports metaphor so perfectly crafted for lazy headline writers is so fitting, but punting—the most cowardly, spineless, and responsibility-evading decision r...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all of the team previews here....
Patriots Request Reinstatement Of Accused Ball-Deflating Employees
With trumped up charges and a whole lot of dodgy PSI data, the only somewhat-weighty evidence that the Patriots had a concerted ball-deflation scheme going was the text-message comedy stylings of locker-room attendant Jim “The Deflator” McNally and equipment assistant John “Dorito Dink” Jastremski. ...
Bad Old Man Likes Other Bad Old Man
Mike Ditka, a cigar on life support, recently said some nice things about Donald Trump, a fart telling an endless joke about itself. This, naturally, has led to Trump stating that he’d like to get Ditka “involved in some capacity” with his potential presidency:...
Matt Williams Fucks Up Again, Gets Booed At His Press Conference
Washington Nationals manager Matt Williams has spent most of the last week doing everything he can to ensure that his team’s slide out of playoff contention continues without a hitch. If his recent handling of the bullpen had Nats fans bashing their heads against walls, last night’s managerial perfo...
Why Jason Pierre-Paul Avoided The Giants All Summer
Defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul met with the Giants on Monday for the first time all year, and let team doctors examine his injured hand for the first time since losing his index finger in a fireworks accident. But the timing of his return, so close to the start of the season, was no accident: Pierr...
Irony Is Dead: Bakersfield Condors Unveil Oil-Themed Mascot
Condors are majestic creatures. The California Condor, which historically ranged across the West Coast and Southwest (and even to Florida way back in the day), is the largest land bird in North America. In the late 1980s the California Condor went extinct in the wild, due to poaching and various typ...
Yoenis Cespedes Error Turns Michael Taylor Single Into Little League Grand Slam
Every right-thinking baseball fan is also a Yoenis Cespedes fan—and he has been hitting like Babe Ruth since joining the Mets at the trade deadline—but man this is an absolutely brutal error. ...
What Did The Patriots' Alleged Spygate Guru Actually <i>Do</i>?
In ESPN’s motherlode about the Patriots’ hilarious history of cheating over the last decade and a half, you’ll notice a mysterious character at the heart of the videotaping operation: “football research director” Ernie Adams. To close observers of the Patriots organization, Adams has been a matter o...
We Tried The New Lay's Flavors So You Don't Have To (Please Don't)
In its infinite potato-chip-making and marketing wisdom, the Frito-Lay snack behemoth has sifted through entries in their latest Lay’s “Do Us A Flavor” contest (this year’s theme: “Taste of America”), narrowed it down to four finalists, and encouraged We The People to vote for our fave. Plus, there’...
Patrick Kane Grand Jury Hearing Postponed Amid Reported Settlement Talks
A 23-person grand jury was to begin hearing the case of Patrick Kane today, to decide whether to indict the Blackhawks star on sexual assault allegations. That hearing has been postponed, the Buffalo News reports, with two sources telling the paper that attorneys for Kane and his accuser may be disc...
Fearless Jackrabbit Dances In End Zone After Invading CFL Game
The Edmonton Eskimos and Calgary Stampeders played a football game Monday, but who cares about that. Check out the jackrabbit that jumped on the field while Edmonton’s Kendial Lawrence returned a kick....