k Page 2743 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jameis Winston's Status Revised, Now Suspended For Entire Clemson Game
Florida State's administration suspended Jameis Winston for the first half of tomorrow's Clemson game earlier this week after engaging in the public execution of a meme. Now, after having time to think about it, interim FSU president Garnett Stokes and AD Stan Wilcox have decided to bench the Heisma...
Cops Say Rex Chapman Ripped Off An Apple Store To The Tune Of $14,000
Police say former NBA player and executive Rex Chapman is responsible for a string of thefts from an Arizona Apple Store totaling more than $14,000....
Derek Jeter Ass-Eating Gossip We Really Want To Be True
Today, a tipster sent us a bit of gossip about Derek Jeter's sex life that comes from what he claims to be a very reliable source. This gossip is likely no more true than similar stories we've come across in the past, but we really, really want it to be true. ...
That Stupid Derek Jeter Ad Will Make You Cry For America
On Thursday, The Gatorade Company Inc.—a marketing shop with a secondary concern in the manufacture and distribution of sweetened salt water—released an advertisement featuring Derek Jeter, one of the worst players in baseball....
Manchester United's Luke Shaw Is The Next Gareth Bale, Even If He's Not
This summer, Manchester United bought left back Luke Shaw from Southampton for £30 million. Luke Shaw is 19 years old. If you're not familiar with soccer's transfer fees, that is a staggering amount of money for a teenager. It's more than the fee paid for Wayne Rooney, another English talent of grea...
Apparently 1860 Munich Really Will Wear This Oktoberfest Kit In-Game
When I first saw this alleged 1860 Munich uniform, inspired by Oktoberfest and mimicking the Bavarian national costume, I thought it must be a joke. Gingham, collared shirts? Lederhosen? But it's real. And I think I kinda love it now....
James Dolan Is A Shitty Boss, Part 4,593
New York Knicks owner and crap-ass wannabe blues musician James Dolan tried to set some kind of world record for the most people playing kazoo in one room. He enlisted New York Knicks Amar'e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony, who would have probably rather been anywhere else, to help him lead the crowd...
21st Amendment's Bitter American Does Low-Alcohol Beer Proud
Welcome to the first Drunkspin Sub-Five-Percent Friday! And maybe the last, because who knows if we'll manage the schedule properly, but the idea is to showcase a different lower-alcohol beer each week, to help shoo you into the weekend with a blueprint for maintaining a respectable 48-hour buzz. ...
Exciting-Ass Carrot Eating
If you like Sinatra's "That's Life" then today is your lucky day. ...
This Russian Soccer Brawl Goes From 0 To 100 Real Quick
As more proof that there's nothing Russians don't think would be improved by spontaneous kickboxing bouts, here's a video of two youth soccer teams fucking each other up after only the slightest provocation....
NFL Fans Prove They're Exactly As Stupid As The NFL Thinks They Are
On Monday, ESPN's SportsNation published a poll about the Vikings' reactivation of Adrian Peterson, the sort of reflexive, wallpaperish question more designed to eat up 20 or 30 seconds of the 11 a.m. SportsCenter than to gauge any actual public sentiment. A few days later it published another, aski...
How I Let Go Of My NFL Career
Excerpted from the new epilogue to Slow Getting Up: A Story of NFL Survival from the Bottom of the Pile, now available in paperback. We published an adaptation from the book last year....
Cheerlessly, Asian Games Begin
The Olympic-style Asian Games open today in Incheon, South Korea, providing a flag-spangled stage on which to celebrate the universal sport of politics. North Korea has reestablished its dominance in this arena by first deploying, then withdrawing, their newest weapon—feminine charm....
Is This Celebrating Falcons Fan Grabbing Her Friend's Dick?
Many of you believe this Falcons fan's grabbing her friend's junk to celebrate a first down by Julio Jones. I'm a little hesitant, though. Watch the guy's face; he doesn't flinch. Wouldn't he at least react in the slightest way if she grabbed his dick? On the other hand, what else could she be grabb...
Vikings Cut Jerome Simpson After July Weed Charges Surface
Suspended Vikings receiver Jerome Simpson now has no team after he finishes his three-game suspension. The team announced today that they were cutting him after new July charges, one of them being marijuana possession, came to light....
The Royals' First-Ever Online Playoff Ticket Sale Didn't Go So Well
If you think you bought Royals playoff tickets today in anticipation of K.C.'s likely berth, you should probably check again. This sounds ominous:...
Darren Rovell Can't Tell A Two From A Five
Darren Rovell is a petty dickhead. Because people make so many jokes about how he is a money-grubbing, soulless, post-human shill for rich old men and corporations, his sheer petty dickheadedness can go underappreciated, but it's really what defines him, which is why the very best Rovell stories i...