lips Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Dare Oppose The Flailing Fists Of Fury?
Ah, the windmill. Once a devastating fighting maneuver featured in middle schools everywhere, it has fallen out of favor in recent years, and is now nearly extinct in the wild. The only place one can see it currently is in Popeye cartoons or Spanish soccer, the latter which recently gave us the some...

Ah, To Be Young And Tony Romo
Another reason YouTube is changing our lives in new and exciting ways: The already infamous Tony Romo fumble moment from Saturday night is being reenacted by spasming lonely fools in their bedrooms. You're totally wrong, Cuban: YouTube is Allah's gift to us all!...

Now They Just Need Marky Mark To Play Linebacker
As Garcia Mania continues to sweep the greater Philadelphia area — if just because "Westbrook Mania" doesn't have the same indelible linguistic flow — we point out to you the spoils of quarterbacking an NFL team that is the company in a company town: Incredibly awkward local television commercials! ...

Hirshey Quickie: On Zidane, Saddam And Hair
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Just Blow Into This Tube, Mr. Tyson
Mike Tyson, ex-pugilist extraordinairre, gnawer of earlobes, raper of women, can add a new dubious title to his evergrowing legend: possessor of cocaine. Yes, its seems early yesterday morning in Scottsdale, Arizona, America's favorite boxer who can no longer box was pulled over during a routine che...

You Can't Really Blame This One On Isiah
Here's what we love about soccer fights; no matter how heated things get, they still won't use their hands. You kick your opponent, and then run away (that part seems to be universal). Our two favorite aspects of this melee between Barcelona and Ecuador on Tuesday are the length — it seems to go on ...

Barbaro: Simply The Best!
We can't think of a better way to put a bow on all our Barbaro fun this year than with this video, which was almost certainly made by someone who frequents a certain message board we all love and envy, in our garbage-on-the-Internet type of way....

Those Saucy Ladies Of The ABC NBA Pregame
Awful Announcing has found the video ABC will be using to intro its NBA games this year — debuting Christmas Day, for the now-tired Shaq vs. Kobe matchup — and it features a group we don't know called "the Pussycat Dolls." (That name sounds like it was focus grouped by Mattel, by the way.)...

Those 1987 Mets Were True Method Actors
On the list of lazy pre-Christmas time videos to whittle away the remaining office hours with, this one might be the most cringe-inducing. It's part 1 of a half-hour "musical adventure" — here's Part Two and Part Three — involving the 1987 Mets, some extremely annoying children and a "nerd" who illu...

Marvin Lewis' Reindeer Games
This has already made it around a bit, but because we're feeling festive and full of the holiday spirit this morning, so we thought we'd share this special video, put together to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer" — not typically one of our holiday favorites — and concerning Marvin Lewis an...

Dan Marino, The Early Broadcasting Years
We'd never seen this old video, of Dan Marino, back in the Len Dawson "Inside The NFL" days, making a verbal flub and kind of getting a little pissy about it. (When you've scared Len Dawson, you've scared the world.) It's from 2000, when Marino was first trying out as a broadcaster — and was, and is...

What Good Is Having A Younger Brother If You Can't Do This?
We weren't there, but we imagine that this was pretty much every day in the Manning family backyard, circa 1985. The small, helmeted figure, crawling in a stupor after smashing into a large object ... that would be Eli, and it really would explain a lot to current New York Giants fans....

The Dance Craze That's SWEEPING THE NATION
We'd like to thank Mister Irrelevant for introducing our Meat Loaf-loving asses to the dance craze that's sweeping dorm rooms across the country: It's "Da Heizman On Dat Ho," a Heisman Trophy-inspired ditty and rompstomp that all the kids are doing. We think this is a dance we are capable of doing; ...

A Very Quick (And Cold) Way To Hurt Yourself
Islanders Army brings us this video from CSTV, which explains how the Cornell hockey team is using the first ever ice-skating treadmill. It's bizarre to even look at; do you have to store it in a freezer?...

Surely, Spike Could Use This Guy For Something, Right?
In another chapter of our ongoing series Why Google Is Full Of Geniuses, we present this "Week 11 roundup" from the NFL, featuring a 30-year-old man who appears to, uh, really like Kentucky basketball. He has a unique cadence for broadcasting, we think; there's a future there. Hey, Van Pelt: You rea...

Big Ben Gets The Brady Treatment
The guy who made that my-lord-it's-everywhere Tom Brady tribute video has come out with a new one, devoted to SHOTY Tournament quarterfinalist Ben Roethlisberger. It's moderately amusing, but we mostly enjoy that it briefly features our famous Big Ben photos and ends with the line "Should have start...

The Cheapest Of The Cheap Shots
The fine souls at The Wizard Of Odds have compiled a group of the most egregious cheap shots in college football this year, with clips, and is encouraging readers to vote....

Perhaps She Has Chosen The Wrong Collegiate Extracurricular Activity
The M Zone takes a moment away from screaming at the heavens and cursing Allah to bring us this video, from the USC-UCLA game Saturday — way to step up, Trojans, by the way — and the famous Unable To Figure Out When Is, In Fact, The Correct Time To Cheer cheerleader. She has a tendency to strike dur...

Ten Moments That Will Make You Cry
Just to be cruel to our delicate sensibilities, the fine folks at Chowdaheads have compiled the 10 most gruesome broken arms and legs in sports history. You can probably guess what No. 1 is; the video above is, frighteningly, only No. 3. (The anticipation in this clip is too brutal for us to handle....

Sean Salisbury Gets His Alan Greenspan On
We don't mean to be snobs here, but, if this video is to be believed, there are human beings on the planet who are listening to Sean Salisbury talk about his investment strategies....