lockoutwithyourcockout - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Leaked NFL Documents: While Owner Cried Hardship, Carolina Panthers Had $112 Million Profit Over Two Years [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18h65th5j6p4fjpg.jpg)


Sidney Crosby Played Goalie In A Dek Hockey Game The Other Night
Had there been no NHL lockout, the Pittsburgh Pensguins would have had a travel day Friday after a road game in Boston on Thursday and another one in Winnipeg on Saturday. As it was, Sidney Crosby had some time to kill, and since Justin Bieber had already swagged his way through Pittsburgh, Crosby q...

The NHL Lockout Negotiations Are So Bad, The NHL Is Threatening To Make Every Player An Unrestricted Free Agent
The NHLPA will give its a members the option to vote for a disclaimer of interest—a renunciation of the legal right to benefit from the terms of a given trust—which essentially means that the leadership of the NHLPA would move to disband the NHLPA. This outcome helps the players in their negotiation...

Patrick Kane Is Living It Up In Switzerland With His Mom
We already knew that Patrick Kane was playing hockey in Switzerland during the NHL lockout, thanks to his appearance in this Swiss hellscape. But what we didn't know is that Kane, the notorious party boy, is currently living in Switzerland with his mom. His real-life mom!...

Patrick Kane Is Just A Cool Bro Chilling In A Post-Apocalyptic Hell-Earth
In the wake of the lockout, NHL stars Tyler Seguin and Patrick Kane signed on with Switzerland's EHC Biel. They arrived too late for player photo day, however, which was apparently "no shirts, battle axe optional."...

NHL And Players Union Meet Tonight And Will Meet Tomorrow, Considered A "Not Bad" Sign
In case you had forgotten, there is no NHL hockey because the league locked out its players. No, no—that was 2004—it did it again this year. You might not have realized because the league does this every few years and loses any sort of good will or build up in the fan base it may have accrued sinc...

Fake Gary Bettman Twitter Account Outs Gary Bettman's Two Remaining Fans
Last night a Twitter account purporting to be NHL commissioner Gary Bettman popped up. While the account turned out to be fake, many believed it at first, both because @Commish_Gary was Bettman's handle before he wisely deleted it pre-lockout, and because the impostor played it straight, tweeting j...

Your KHL Update: Importing the Enforcer
While the NHL and the NHLPA may or may not be making significant progress toward saving the season, hockey rages on abroad. Hopefully I'll have reason to stop doing these posts soon, but in the meantime, here's your second weekly KHL fix....

Now's Your Chance To Chat With Jeremy Roenick, Nine-Time NHL All-Star And NBC Analyst
Jeremy Roenick scored 513 goals in his 18 NHL seasons with the Blackhawks, Coyotes, Flyers, Kings, and Sharks. (You will recall, since it's not so active at present, the NHL is an occasionally operational professional league in which rich men compensate other men to play hockey.) Roenick retired in ...

Locked-Out Hockey Player Scales Tall Building
Flyers center Max Talbot, 20-story office tower in Philly, etc. [WMMR, via The 700 Level] ...

Barry Melrose's Twitter Feed Is A Depressing Barometer Of The NHL Lockout
With the NHL in the middle of another lockout, ESPN analyst/hockey man/mullet person Barry Melrose has been occasionally chronicling his thoughts on Twitter the past several weeks. In that time, we've seen hockey's only voice on the Worldwide Leader slowly lose his hopes for an NHL season. ...

Who Needs The NHL? Your Weekly English-Language KHL Update
With a growing number of European NHLers threatening to stay in foreign leagues after the lockout, maybe it's time the fans did too. After all, the Kontinental Hockey League—the consensus second-best league in the world—has made it easier than ever for North American fans to follow the action. They'...

Canada's Best Hockey Broadcaster Is Building A Lake Cabin With His Bare Hands, Just Waiting For A Call
There's no hockey, as you may have heard. This means NBC's Doc Emrick, one of our favorites, is calling figure skating for the peacock network. But what about Jim Hughson of the CBC? Hughson—whose best Roberto-Luongo-specific calls you can hear above—is another one of our favorites. Unlike Emrick,...
