lockoutwithyourcockout Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Patrick Kane's New Swiss Hockey Team Has Heard Some Things About How He Acts Off The Ice
The NHL has foolishly locked out Chicago Blackhawks right wing and frequent Deadspin subject Patrick Kane, in addition to 719 other players. Once the lockout became official in September, many of those players signed in Russia and elsewhere in Europe. Others decided they'd cool their heels and wait ...
Guy Who Is Currently Playing Hockey In Siberia Calls Columbus, Ohio, "The Gloomiest" City
Nashville Predators winger Sergei Kostitsyn has been playing for Avangard Omsk—a KHL hockey team from Omsk, a Russian city located in Siberia—while he waits for the NHL to end its lockout. Don't feel bad for Kostitsyn though; he seems to be enjoying himself in Omsk. From Reuters:...
Columbus Blue Jackets Fans Gathered At a Bar For An Xbox Simulation Last Night, And The Blue Jackets' Radio Announcers Showed Up To Call It
Life sucks when your favorite sport is locked out. If Gary Bettman was putting on hockey games instead of spit-shining what's left of his public image, the Columbus Blue Jackets would have played the Vancouver Canucks last night. Instead, solitude and desolation for hockey fans in Ohio....
Doc Emrick Will Be Calling Figure Skating During The NHL Lockout
Hockey's preeminent voice is just another dude adversely affected by the NHL lockout. As our friends at Awful Announcing noticed, NBC announced today that Mike "Doc" Emrick will be the play-by-play voice for the network's figure skating coverage, which will air for the next six weekends, when the re...
Where Would The NHL Be If Bain Capital Had Bought The Whole League In 2005?
It was March 2005, and the NHL's owners didn't know what to do. It had been six months since they'd locked out the players' union, trying to force concessions, but the players were still refusing to bear the brunt of spending cuts. Two weeks earlier, the league had finally canceled the already-delay...
Inside A Secret NHL Focus Group: How A Top GOP Strategist Is Helping Hockey Owners Craft Their Lockout Propaganda
You're going to hear a lot about "shared sacrifice" from the NHL in the days and weeks to come. That's the word from inside a secret emergency PR focus group, in which a top Republican Party strategist tested pro-ownership messages on a captive audience of hockey fans. One of those fans shared the d...
How NHL Interference Forced One Of The Game's Best Reporters Out Of Hockey
Rich Hammond covered the Kings for the Los Angeles Daily News for nearly a decade, becoming known as one of the most respected writers in the sport—even in a town with Helene Elliott. But hockey being hockey, and dying newspapers being dying newspapers, the Daily News decided it was no longer cost-e...
Don't Despair, NHL Fans: You Can Watch Imitation Pro Hockey On ESPN! Here's How.
There's still no NHL hockey. It won't be coming back for a while. (But you knew that already.) So what is a despairing puckhead to do? You could always watch college hockey, which starts its national TV schedule this weekend. But you're probably not going to find the skill you're looking for there. ...
The NHL Just Canceled The First Two Weeks Of Its Regular Season
The NHL has locked out its players for nearly a month now, and today we saw the first meaningful casualty: the first two weeks of hockey are gone. The NHL's usual wacky overseas openers had been scrapped back in March, but now the rest of the openers—Kings-Rangers, Flames-Canucks, Sens-Habs—are gone...
The NHL Lockout Negotiations Have Been Kind Of A Joke
Did you know, that as of right now, the NHL season is still technically scheduled to start on time next Thursday? Yep, everyone is going about their business as if there's going to be meaningful hockey next week, as if all the best players will rushing back from Russia, as if the teams will re-hire ...
The NHL Lockout Negotiations Are Going As Slowly As Possible
You want hockey? You want it back bad? Of course you do. Who doesn't?...
No, The City Of Detroit Will Not Lose $84 Million If The NHL Season Is Canceled
The lockout has officially arrived when newspapers start reporting half-baked economic impact projections that are so far removed from reality as to be laughable. You know the sort. "Team X brings in so much money, without them the city would go broke and revert to feudalism OMG." These studies are ...
Yes, It's Almost Time For Hockey. No, There's No Hockey. Deadspin Tries To Explain.
Wait, did something happen to hockey?...
This Is Just Another Friendly Reminder That There Will Be An NHL Lockout Because The Owners Are Cheap Bastards
Hey, it's mid-August. That means we're a little more than a month away from NHL training camp. So it's time to get excited again about all your favorite prospects, like that kid from Canadian major junior who was on the bubble last year but will definitely make the team this year, and all your new f...
Five Bullshit Things About David Stern's Bullshit Veto Of The Chris Paul Trade
David Stern's veto of the Chris Paul trade contains so much kaleidoscoping bullshit that it seems more than worth it to lay out just some of the bullshit: ...
Big Baby Davis Got Arts-And-Crafty During The Lockout
In this video produced by Glen Davis's marketing company (and via TBJ) we get a look at how Big Baby spent his time off. Knitting, popsicle stick construction, model kits and the like. It's clever, but we're more taken with the rubber-faced Davis's reaction shots. He has a future in silent movies....
How The Internet May Have Saved The NFL And NBA
Before we get to the Funbag, just a reminder that I'll be reading in Milwaukee tomorrow night at 7 p.m. at Boswell Book Company, followed by all of us going out and getting drunk on cheddar-flavored ale. Then, on Thursday night, I'll be in Chicago reading at the Book Cellar at 7 p.m. Come one, come ...
NBA Owners And Players Reach Tentative Labor Deal, Season To Start On Christmas Day
"All I feel right now is 'finally'" said a borderline speechless Dwyane Wade. Barring something crazy, the league plans on opening training camp on December 9th and kicking off a 66-game schedule Christmas Day with the Boston Celtics at New York Knicks, the Miami Heat at Dallas Mavericks, and the Ch...
The Shit Replacing Basketball On TV Tonight: Three Hours of <i>America's Funniest Home Videos</i>
The NBA lockout is nearing the end of its fifth month, and there is no end in sight. This sucks for players, who will miss paychecks; it sucks for fans, who will be forced to find other ways to occupy their winter nights; it really, really sucks for TV networks that carry local NBA games and now hav...
Rajon Rondo Goes Off The Forehead To Rudy Gay
A month ago, he was rocking the no-look over-the-shoulder lob. Now, with this off-the-forehead alley-oop over the weekend, Rondo has cemented himself as the highlightiest player of the lockout....