new Page 1154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
At Last, The Mets Put Willie Randolph Out Of His Misery
We find it fitting, after at least nine months of fervid speculation, Willie Randolph was fired as manager of the Mets at 3:30 a.m. ET. That's too late for the tabloids to slap it on the front page, which is just a tragedy in New York City; tabloids are the reason we have managerial deathwatches....
Naked People Are Stridently Anti-Willie Randolph
We don't deal with a lot of public relations people around here, which is one of the many pleasures of writing on the Internets. (For now.) But for some reason, we are on the mailing list for Rick's Cabaret in New York City — we don't know why! Swear! — and we received the following email today: "RI...
Germans Haven't Quite Perfected The Bomb Scare
When I'm late for a plane, typically I do not need to stall the flight by some elaborate means. After all, the flight will find a way to be 2 hours late on its own! Ha-ah! [wacky Vaudevile jig] If only reporters late for their Euro 2008 assignment were so wise....
Marcus Vick Eager To Take Spotlight Back From His Brother
Has it really been a year-and-a-half since a Marcus Vick update? That can't be right! Anyway, our friend "New" Mexico has found himself in some trouble this morning: He was arrested and charged with a DUI....
A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2008
This is BALLS DEEP With Drew Magary (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100 percent all-new material, is available here....
Thieves Boost Giants Super Bowl Rings
If you see a decidedly un-athletic-looking character parading around town with a Giants Super Bowl ring — and it's not Eli Manning — then please call your local authorities immediately. It's probably hot; part of the haul from big Attleboro jewelry heist this past weekend....
The Big Ball Orchard In The South Bronx
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
The Deadspin Editor Search Continues
So, several people have asked why I've been silent on Will's announced departure from Deadspin (if my mailman can be considered "several people"). Well, it's simple. I maintain that he's not leaving. You see, it's all an elaborate hoax, perpetrated by the same folks who faked the moon landing and bu...
Yankee Fans Even Hate Givers Of Life
Yes, bringer of life to the planet ... YOU SUCK! TRADE THE BUM!...
Goodbye To The Gap-Toothed Wonder
We don't know about you, but we'll kind of miss Michael Strahan, who retired from the NFL today, probably because he thinks coming off a title might make him John Elway. (It won't.)...
Joba Would Like To Take Off the Training Wheels Now
Until Hank Steinbrenner can get Dayan Viciedo signed, five innings of Joba Chamberlain are going to have to do. Chamberlain, who was lambasted by critics and audiences alike in his first starting role last week, came back with a slightly stronger effort on Sunday to lead the Yankees over the Royals...
Meet The Mets, Beat The Mets
A dastardly sot went after Mr. Met at a game last Saturday, the New York Post reports. So bound and determined was he to inflict pain on the mascot, he wasn't going to let children, or pregnant women or rare butterflies get in his way. Is hurting mascots all that fun? Seems like somebody has seen t...
This Should Quiet Those Stupid "True Yankee" Questions
This faithful little guttersnipe is Gerrit Cole, pictured here at the tender age of 11 attending the 2001 World Series, who this week was selected as the Yankees first-round pick. Yesterday capped a pretty good week for Cole, as the Bombers returned to .500, where they seems to be teetering lately,...
Wes Welker's Musical Belly Button Captivates Crowd
A few members of the New England Patriots got crazy karaoke-style for Larryoke, a charity event organized by Pats' special teams captain Larry Izzo. Those in attendance were blown away by Wes Welker's belly button rendition of "MacArthur Park". That thing's got some pipes....
Patriots' Lineman Is Oxy Fiend, Snitches On Dealer
Well, here's a bizarre story from the land of the Chowdah heads: Nick Kaczur, the New England Patriots offensive lineman, has according to the Boston Globe been secretly helped the DEA nab a major illegal prescription drug supplier. Kaczur was arrested last April for illegal possession of oxy and t...
The Joy And Despair Of Two New York Pitching Debuts
So as we check in this morning on the great city and state of New York, we see much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the daring Joba-Chamberlain-as-a-starter experiment (he flew too close to the sun on mashed potato wings), and great rejoicing over the return of Pedro Martinez. Joba lasted just 2...
The Patriots High School Cheerleader Baffles Those Wanting To Accurately Leer
From the booby-centric miscreants over at Busted Coverage comes another time-wasting exercise that guarantees you will spend an unhealthy amount of time anaylzing teenage girls on the internet. The New England Patriots announced their 2008 cheerleading squad and one of the newest members is curren...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......
When Did Fernando Tatis Come Back?
Forgive us here, but we couldn't help but wonder, upon seeing highlights of the Mets' 12th-inning win over the Marlins last night ... Fernando Tatis is back in baseball? Wha?...
Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...