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The Future Has Arrived
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Do The NFL's Anti-Domestic Violence Initiatives Actually Even Exist?
As long ago as it now seems, it was only this past July when Roger Goodell decided to suspend Ray Rice for two games after the Baltimore Ravens running back cold-cocked his future wife in an Atlantic City casino elevator. There was outrage, but not enough to change the NFL commissioner's mind. He ...

Watch Tonight's <i>SNL</i> Cold Open Feat. Richard Sherman & Marshawn Lynch
Tonight's Saturday Night Live cold open featuring "Richard Sherman" and a reticent-as-always "Marshawn Lynch" improved greatly over last week's weak Ballghazi-themed effort. Jay Pharoah pulls out a pretty solid attempt at Sherman's intensity....

Marshawn Lynch's Outtakes From Gaming With Gronk Are Also Very Funny
Marshawn Lynch and Gronk played some video games on Conan's show the other day and it was great. Attempting to satiate an insatiable demand for all things Marshawn Lynch, Team Coco has uploaded a video of outtakes from the shoot, appropriately calling it "Marshawnisms." What's a Marshawnism? Probabl...

<i>Rolling Stone </i>Publishes, Then Unpublishes, Column Criticizing The NFL
Friend of Deadspin Jeb Lund (also known as monstrous, deceased dictator Mobutu Sese Soko) published a column today under the headline "Screw the Super Bowl: The Big Lies of the Big Game" on Rolling Stone's website. You can't read it on RollingStone.com anymore, though, because it mysteriously disapp...

44 Lies Roger Goodell Told In His Press Conference Today
"It has been a season of amazing competition, challenges and real progress."...

How Will The Seahawks' Secondary Deal With Rob Gronkowski?
Richard Sherman might be the most vocal player in Seattle's hard-hitting, receiver-eating secondary known as the Legion of Boom, but he's far from the only key contributor. In fact, depending on his elbow's condition, Sherman might not even play a major part in the Hawks' gameplan. ...

J.J. Watt Has Retreated To A Cabin In The Woods To Become More Badass
Last year, Texans defensive end J.J. Watt spent his offseason crashing at his college buddy's house and basically doing nothing but working out. This year, Watt has decided that he needs to step his training up a bit, and so he's purchased a secluded cabin in the woods, where he will live and train ...

This Year's Super Bowl Teams Really Are The Best In Their Conference
Hey, here's a change. The participants in this year's Super Bowl, through the NFL's single-elimination playoff format, were actually the best in their respective conferences this year. That never happens! Except, uhm, when it happened last year. But otherwise—that almost never happens!...

UMass Player Completely Blindsided By Crushing Screen
UMass guard Trey Davis is probably still upset with his teammates this morning, because not one of those assholes thought it would be a good idea to call out the screen and save him from getting planted into the hardwood by Kendall Pollard. ...

Richard Sherman And Michael Bennett Savage The NCAA "Scam"
Pretty much everything was asked about during the three days of press conferences during Super Bowl week. Few answers were as good as the Seahawks' Richard Sherman and Michael Bennett on the NCAA, which Bennett called "one of the biggest scams in America."...

9/11 Truthers Love Pete Carroll
Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll, a bold truth seeker who isn't afraid to ask the difficult questions about what really happened on Sept. 11, 2001, has become a bit of a hero to those in the 9/11 truther movement....

Super Bowl Footballs Will Receive Extra Security
Remember, if you can, back a whole three days ago, before Marshawn Lynch conquered America: it's tough to believe now, but there used to be a big scandal about deflated footballs or something. (It's hard to recall the specifics.) The NFL is taking no chances on a repeat of the controversy. Nobody is...


Katy Perry Vs. Marshawn Lynch: The "Don't Get Fined" Mashup
Pop star and Super Bowl halftime performer Katy Perry dropped a few Lynchian "I'm just here so I won't get fined" lines during her presser today in Glendale, so we mashed her up with some of Marshawn's original versions from yesterday. Have fun, kids!...

This Is Gonna Be The Best Halftime Show Ever
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The Patriots' Super Bowl Success Relies On The Brady-Gronk Connection
Since Randy Moss got the Jazzy Jeff toss from the New England in the middle of the 2010 season, Patriots fans have spent offseason after offseason squawking about the team's need for a deep-threat receiver. Those people are idiots. The current Patriots do not need a deep threat, because Tom Brady su...

Watch The Deadspin Super Bowl Ad That Was Too Hot For TV! (NSFW!)
You know the drill by now: Some dipshit company like GoDaddy or Carl's Jr. makes a lascivious Super Bowl ad, only to be bombarded with a host of last-second edits from the prudes in your average network's S&P department. And then they go ahead and post the uncut ad—highly NSFW (OOH!), like the one a...

Do Not Root For The Goddamn Patriots
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....