no Page 5076 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Poor Chan Gailey Can't Even Get Respect From Closed Captioning
Chan Gailey made light of his under-the-radar status in the NFL's coaching mechanical horsey ride, but it appears the TV robot felt obligated to add a little more pizazz to the Bills' humdrum choice....

Wheelchair Lady, Off-Duty Cop Took Down Loud Jets Fan
The unruly Jets fan who was hauled out of Qualcomm Stadium in chains has come forward and the San Diego PD has been shamed into a response by anonymous websites. Was he railroaded or did he get what he deserved?...

Somebody Send A Blogger To Vegas For Charity And Trash-Talking
Dan Levy of "On The Dan Levy" has a favor to ask: please help him decide which professional blogger should accompany him to Las Vegas over Super Bowl weekend. Your choices: Josh Zerkle or Matt Sebek. Your vote counts. [OnTheDanLevy]...

Mark Sanchez Is The New JaMarcus Russell, Only Worse
Vince Verhei draws an intriguing comparison. JaMarcus Russell, 2008-09: 198-for-368, 2,423 yards, 13 TDs. Mark Sanchez, 2009-10: 196-for-364, 2,444 yards, 12 TDs. The difference? Sanchez threw more picks. And only six people thought to mention Russell’s “poise.” Six....

Whites-Only Basketball League Swears It's Not Racist
A Georgia man is forming a whites-only pro basketball league "due to the proliferation of non-organized play." (i.e., "brown guys.") The Augusta Chronicle promises it's not a hoax, because pro wrestling promoters named "Moose" are very trustworthy....

Sports Fella Summons His Inner Black Guy For LeBron James Column, With Humorous Results
Bill Simmons watched LeBron James play basketball in person and he's very excited about it. We're talking 3,144 words of excitement and awe and Witnessing. Then he some how managed to go overboard beyond his usual overboarding....

The Best Place To Get In A Bar Fight This Sunday
When Viking fans in New York City want to watch Vikings games, they go to a place called Bar None. When Saints fans in New York City want to watch Saints games, they go to the exact same bar. Uh-oh....

Oh, Go F*ck Yourself, Curt Schilling
"They were up three games to none," Schilling tells Bryan Curtis, analogizing Massachusetts' special election to that one year when he had an owie on his foot, "and there was no possible way they were going to lose four straight."...

You Might Have A Death Wish If You Want A Career in Big Time College Coaching
"Nearly every Division I head coach puts in more than 100-hour weeks during the season and heavy recruiting periods. If anything, it's amazing more coaches haven't suffered heart attacks or more serious ailments as a result of stress..."[SI]...

Northwestern Fan Explains Tiger's Masturbatory Lockdown To America
In a bizarre twist, Deadspin's Northwestern University Basketball Columnist Benoit Denizet-Lewis has become the go-to guy for Tiger Woods sex rehab details and this morning's SportsCenter prevailed upon him to break it down for their viewers. Today's lesson: celibacy contracts....

This Morning in TMZish Sports: A Tiger-Like Human Spotted At Sex Rehab
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....

Here's Kimbo Slice And Elton John, Just Because
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Did Venus Go Commando?
The most pressing question of our time is, naturally, was Venus Williams wearing underwear at the Australian Open yesterday? We dig deep, breaking down the footage, to give you a definitive answer....

Two Down, Five Dirty Words To Go For Andy Roddick (Update, With Bonus Hangover Quote)
(Thanks to Rick for tracking down and grabbing the videos)...

JaMarcus Russell Is The King Of Mardi Gras
Russell, the newly crowned King Elexis I, will lead the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association parade. He'll also show you his C-cups for some beads. [Press-Register]...

The Saints Go Marching In Without Deuce, Governor
Boy, wasn't it inspirational when New Orleans signed Deuce McAllister before the Cardinals game? The beloved superstar and former face of the franchise, back for one final hurrah. Sorry Deuce, you're cut....

Rex Ryan Is Fat And Happy
Ryan, seen here in a rare between-meals period, consumes 7,000 calories a day and has never ordered a salad, according to "team sources." Things are good in Jetland if this is what's being leaked. [NY Post]...

Taiwan CGI'ers Take On Leno vs. Conan
Fresh off interpreting the Tiger Woods follies, Taiwan's considerable technological might comes to bear on the late night wars. Except Jay, Conan and Zucker are superheroes here, for some reason. This medium is the future of journalism, by the way....

Tiger Woods' Sex Rehab Adventure, As Gleaned From A Few Brochure Photographs
Tiger Woods is at the Pine Grove Behavioral Health & Addiction Services in Hattiesburg, Miss., where he is reportedly receiving treatment for sex addiction. What does that entail? Let's look at photos on the center's web site and find out....