not Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Perhaps This Was What Drugged George Foreman
So, in Cincinnati, this dad and his son decided to move their punching bag, and, on a whim, figured they'd find out, you know, what's actually in a punching bag....
How To Make Love To That Team's Biggest Fan
In one of those perfect ideas that make the Internets such a blessing on our daily lives, Every Day Should Be Saturday and Ladies ... have come up a guide to seducing a particular team's fan. Want to know how to bed that Cardinals fan? What do you say to a Knicks fan to sneak 'em in the sack? How do...
You Dissed Kenny! You Bastards!
The "political" blog Newsbusters has been watching SportsCenter lately, and the folks there are calling shenanigans on tanned, nimble-footed ESPN personality Kenny Mayne. The site puts it thusly:...
Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...
You Just Can't Keep Chris Henry Down
You know, we're starting to think that Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry might have a bit of a self-control issue....
We Will Cherish Him, And Keep Him Warm
You might remember, from a couple months ago, that famous eBay auction in which we discovered that Barbaro lives on forever through snack food. To remind, from the seller:...
Naked People Are Funny
Nothing beats a good streaker, kids, particularly when it's a Philadelphia streaker. And we're not particularly envious of that usher either....
Reintroducing Jack Cust
Anyone who has paid attention the world of sabermetrics and Baseball Prospectus over the last few years is probably familiar with Jack Cust. For years, he was that supposed slugging Colorado catcher we were all waiting to take over the National League, the guy we hoped no one else in our fantasy lea...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending a wake for all of your old REM cassette tapes ... • NBA: A cut above ... Suns even series with Spurs 1-all. • MLB: Beckett! Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2. • Tennis: Claymation ... Federer advances at Rome Masters....
Keeps The Hot Side Hot, The Cool Side Cool!
As if tennis weren't odd enough, we give you the half grass, half clay playing surface. On the right is Wimbledon champ Roger Federer, who is unbeaten in 48 matches on grass, and on the left is French Open champ Rafael Nadal, unbeaten in 72 matches on clay. In the middle is a confused referee, and o...
Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....
"No, I Said HOLD The Mayo!"
According to CNN, the five most dangerous jobs in America are:...
Oh, That Ref Is Just Playing Hard To Get
On the list of things that you would never imagine being against the rules until someone actually does it, this would have to be pretty high up there....
Introducing Tony Dungy's Least Favorite Sports Mascot
If the March Gayness blog pool at the Malcontent needs a costumed mascot, well, Flamy is available at very reasonable rates. Come to think of it, if he has the time, he could also be a fine representative of Manny Ramirez's grill-hawking efforts, or the next phallic-shaped object for golf's Christie...
NCAA Pants Party: Notre Dame Vs. Winthrop
Notre Dame Fighting Irish (24-7) vs. Winthrop Eagles (28-4) When: Friday, 2:35 p.m. Where: Spokane...
Notre Dame Fighting Irish
1. The benefits of weed. When the Irish's starting point guard Kyle McAlarney was indefinitely suspended for having pot in the front seat of his car in late December, freshman guard Tory Jackson was immediately thrust into the starting spot. Although he still lacks K-Mac's consistency from behind bo...
Always, Always Be Wearing A Cup. Always.
All right, when a story starts with this lede ......
Deadspin Field Trip: The AJ Daulerio Going Away Roast
About a month ago, our own AJ Daulerio wrote, in his Cultural Oddsmaker column, that he dreamed of one day having a roast in his honor. Little did he know that the wheels were already in motion for that very thing....
No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....
Charlie Weis Hates Internal Bleeding Much More Than He Hates Donuts
In case you've fallen behind on your coverage of failed gastric bypass surgery involving major college football coaches, Notre Dame head whale Charlie Weis is in Day One of his negligence trial in which doctors ignored internal bleeding warning signs. Weis underwent the surgery in 2002 because he wa...