ns Page 1768 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Columnist Angry At The Imaginary Murders DeSean Jackson Has Witnessed
You thought Phil Mushnick couldn't get any more Mushnick on your ass than he already has? Ohhhh, people. Oh, how you underestimate that cagey old fucker. Because today, Mushnick hopped into the Andy Rooney machine and set it to Full Bushy Eyebrow. Join me as he carefully evaluates the plight of ...
Dick Vitale GIF Better Sans Context
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Steven Stamkos Scores On His Own Empty Net During Delayed Penalty
Though the Tampa Bay Lightning were on a delayed penalty, they still somehow surrendered a goal last night. Steven Stamkos is a scoring machine that doesn't have time to distinguish nets, dammit....
Arizona Loses To Wisconsin; Students And Riot Police Face Off
Arizona lost 64-63 in overtime to the Wisconsin Badgers earlier tonight for a spot in the Final Four, and now the campus is kind of a shit show. Riot police were lining up in front of a University boulevard bar more than an hour before the game ended and when it did, things rapidly deteriorated. By ...
Arizona Police Sketch Looks Exactly Like Dan Snyder
According to AZ Central, Tempe police are looking for the person depicted in this police sketch who is alleged to have broken into a 19-year-old woman's home and sexually assaulted her while she was asleep. He bears an uncanny resemblance to Dan Snyder....
Ray Rice Got Married; Brandon Spikes Wants Someone To Choke Him Out
Ray Rice was married Friday to Janay Palmer, the same woman he allegedly knocked unconscious in an Atlantic City casino. One day before the wedding, the knockout earned him an indictment on third-degree aggravated assault charges....
"They're Try'na Burn Down The House At The Corner Of State & Crescent"
Listening to the Lexington police scanner after a big Kentucky basketball win can be great fun....
Vin Scully Call Of 5.1 Quake Proves He Can Get Us Through Any Disaster
A 5.1 magnitude earthquake shook Los Angeles tonight during the late innings of an Angels-Dodgers spring training game at Chavez Ravine. Vin Scully, on the call as always, took it in stride and reminded us we'd really prefer to get all our natural disaster news from the baseball legend....
Gooks Don't Get Redskins Joke
Wednesday's episode of the Colbert Report, a satirical television program in which Stephen Colbert satirically plays a conservative buffoon, featured a segment on actual buffoon Dan Snyder's Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation, which was announced this week amid renewed protest against...
Tuffy Rhodes Catches Olajuwon-Signed Ball, Gives It To Little Kid
Remember Tuffy Rhodes? You probably don't remember Tuffy Rhodes. He's the former Cubs center fielder who hit three home runs off Doc Gooden on Opening Day in 1994 before flaming out and heading off to play baseball in Japan, where he became one of the best power hitters in the league and tied Sadah...
CEO Of Redskins' Foundation Has History Of Swindling Native Americans
The Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation—with which Dan Snyder promises to end Native poverty just to make sure he can keep using a racial epithet as a team name—is off a poor start. The foundation's CEO's is accused of bilking Native Americans out of $1 million in federal funds. ...
Arkansas Minor League Team Introduces Redneck Possum Mascot
The Arkansas Travelers are the Angels AA affiliate, and introduced a pair of new mascots today on Little Rock's KARK. One of the mascots is normal. The other is a horrible redneck possum beast....
NFL Agent Arrested In Bizarre Murder-For-Hire Plot
The arrest of California State Senator Leland Yee contains details that make it so much more than your typical San Francisco corruption scandal. It features ties to a Triad gangster nicknamed "Shrimp Boy," allegations that Yee plotted to purchase shoulder-fired missiles from an Islamic terrorist gro...
Terry Francona Goes To The Mound To Tell Pitcher He Made The Team
Terry Francona seems like a pretty rad dude. During Monday's spring training game against the Reds, the Indians manager went to the mound to remove pitcher Blake Wood from the game. At the time, Wood still didn't know whether he had made the roster or not. Francona, however, knew that Wood had made ...
Here Are Some People Playing Jenga Who Don't Know How To Play Jenga
Everybody knows how to play Jenga, right? The word "Jenga" is Swahili for "build," and the purpose of the game is to pull a brick from the base of the structure and add it to the top without making the whole thing topple over....
"They May Riot. Whatever." Dayton Students Go Hogwild Over Elite Eight
Dayton is in the NCAA tournament round of eight for the first time since 1984, and students at the private, Catholic university are rightfully excited. When your Sweet 16 celebration features the college president crowd-surfing, it sets a pretty high bar for tidings....
Bo Ryan's Excited To See Aaron Rodgers
Wisconsin beat Baylor tonight to advance to the Elite Eight, and Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers stopped by the Badgers' locker room after the game for some celebrating. Head coach Bo Ryan seemed happy(?) to take a photo with him....
Reporter Captures The Fleeting Glory Of Youth In One Spring Break Photo
Some Alabama students and football players traveled to Florida for their spring break, as many college students do. While posing for a reporter's photos, this well-hydrated motley crew—from the University of Arkansas—posed with their hands, cups, and cigs. One girl in the middle of the photo took it...
The Many, Many Talents Of UCLA's Brilliant Kyle Anderson
Kyle Anderson learned to walk three days shy of his first birthday. That same day, his father reports, he began playing basketball. This sweet story is most likely an old crock of beans simmering on the family stove, but it does get at what makes the UCLA sophomore so special: He plays like a natura...