ow Page 1079 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Olympic Gold Medalist Challenges Chad Ochocinco to Race
Dominating one sport isn't enough anymore for today's athletes. Apparently, if you're a professional football player, specifically an egomaniacal receiver, you think your skills translate to other venues. Chad Johnson wanted to race against Michael Phelps in the pool — not to mention a horse on a tr...
Torry Holt Would Like to Apologize for Sucking
First Steven Jackson was totally not happy with Rams' head coach Scott Linehan's decision to bench Marc Bulger in favor of Trent Green. Former All Pro and now mediocre wide receiver Torry Holt is the latest to voice his displeasure with the whole situation. He just wants to play some football, "It w...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you search for a very sharp axe ... • MLB: Washington Nationals at Philadelphia Phillies (7:05 p.m., ET) [Comcast, WDCA]; Florida Marlins at New York Mets (7:10 p.m., ET); Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee Brewers (8:00 p.m., ET). [ESPN]. If this keeps up, the Wild Card will have to be d...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you ask for more ketchup on your 12-year-old McDonald's hamburger ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at New York Mets (7:10 p.m., ET). It's all up to Pedro. Oh boy. [CSN, SNY] • MLB: Chicago White Sox at Minnesota Twins (8:10 p.m., ET) Slowey Fever ... Catch it! [ChicagoLTV, Fox Sports Nort...
Detroit Tigers' Season Cruelly Refuses To End
Despite what the calendar says, the Detroit Tigers called off their season weeks ago. They've won 5 games this month. They've lost 12 of their last 13, given six in a row to the Indians and Royals, their closer has already retired, Gary Sheffield is sharpening knives in his basement, and despite leg...
As A Writer, ESPN's Rob Neyer Thinks Todd Jones Is No Doug Glanville
Recently retired reliever Todd Jones is getting a nice send-off by most players, fans and beat writers for his many years of baseball service and overall good-guyness. And despite his many shaky late-inning outings, Jones will retire as the Tigers all-time saves leader. Jones also made a name for hi...
Meanwhile, Down At The Arlington DMV ...
Sunday night can't get here soon enough for Washington Redskins fans, one of whom slipped this little gem past the ever-vigilant profanity watchdogs at his local Department of Motor Vehicles. The plates on his other car say "Assman." Elsewhere, noting that Terrell Owens is not in the NFL top 10 in e...
Kimbo Tries To Kill David Blaine, Plax's Appeal And Mets Fans Take Another Step Closer To The Ledge
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you call in sick for your presidential campaign ... • MLB: Atlanta Braves at Philadelphia Phillies (7:05 p.m., ET). Whither Ron Gant? [Comcast, Fox Sports South] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at New York Mets (7:10 p.m., ET). Either way, Omar Minaya sleeps the sleep of the just. [ESPN, SNY...
Twins Make Final, Headlong Dash Toward AL Central Title
With the Twins' most crucial three-game series of the season looming on Monday night, the Minneapolis Pioneer Press ran a column with the following headline: It's Not Likely That The Twins Can Sweep Their Final Two Series. That's the spirit, Twin Cities! But despite themselves, Minnesota fans find t...
NFL News, Vodka Into Urine And The Night In Baseball
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while listening to the new Cold War Kids ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at New York Mets(7:10 p.m., ET). Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. [SNY] • WNBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 3, Indiana at Detroit (7 p.m., ET). Your viewership could help Rick Mahorn pay off his tax debt. [ESPN2] • MLB: B...
John Clayton's A Little Gassy In The Morning
And now for a little stomach-churning media goodness. One of the inevitable downsides of ESPN's new "Live" SportsCenter are some of the slip-ups that occur during live broadcasts which unfortunately make it to air. Case in point — this morning, at approximately 10:28, it appears NFL beat reporter J...
Wrigley Field Destroys A Man's Soul
I spent last weekend at Wrigley Field, watching the stupid Cubs clinch their stupid division and drink some stupid champagne in front of their stupid fans. It was the first time my father had ever been to Wrigley Field, and I have to think it'll be his last. Poor guy. He makes it nearly 60 years wi...
Kiffin's Press Conference Gets Shovey, The Chargers Take Out The NY Bretts And The Mets Are At It Again
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a night of hanging out at the museum ... • NFL: New York Jets at San Diego (8:30 p.m., ET). How will Chargers lose this time? Earthquake? Giant meteor? [ESPN] • WNBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 3, New York at Connecticut (7 p.m., ET). A rivalry as old as the WNBA itself....
Is The Brady Quinn Era Officially About To Begin In Cleveland?
There is nothing official-official yet, but the rumors of Derek Anderson's demise seem to be gaining momentum. Anderson has been shaky since the beginning of the season and no longer showing the equine-like testicular fortitude that made him so immensely successful last year. Cleveland Browns' coach...
Big Dope Loses All His Cowboys Stuff. Poor, Dumb Sap
You hate to see anyone become the victim of a burglary, but at the same time it's hard to feel any sympathy for Bruce Marziani. Bruce was born and raised in Philadelphia, but is a Dallas Cowboys fan, as you can see. And when he traveled to Irving for the big Monday Night showdown with the Eagles, he...
In Which We Ask The Musical Question, What The Hell Was That?
Kat DeLuna was called a "pop sensation" by the Texas Stadium announcer as she prepared to sing the National Anthem at what I'm assuming was the Monday Night game against the Eagles. She caused a sensation, all right. It's the first time I've heard an anthem singer booed who didn't unintentionally b...
The U.S. Steals The Ryder Cup, Week Three In The NFL And Goodbye To Yankee Stadium
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....