ow Page 1186 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Iowa Hawkeyes
1. Jeff Horner Induces Pee-Phobia. If you're ever in a bathroom with Jeff, watch out... he may slap your ass. And then what will you do? Surely you can't just go on holding it. That's bad for you. Probably give you cancer. Also, Horner is Iowa's best player. Watch out ... he'll be leading the Hawks ...
Georgetown Hoyas
1. Ewing, Mutombo, Mourning, Iverson... Green and Hibbert? G'town used to be an NBA factory and may have a couple Association stars-in-waiting on the current roster. According to NBADraft.net, sophomores Jeff Green and Roy Hibbert are projected to go 11th and 26th overall in 2007. Green was Big East...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your family says their final goodbyes until you resurface from watching basketball in early April ... • College Basketball: Big East quarterfinals, at New York, Villanova vs. Rutgers; Big 12 Conference first round, Missouri vs. Nebraska at Dallas. Quincy Douby will lead the Scarlet ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as aliens circle the Earth looking for a parking place ... • World Baseball Classic: USA vs. Canada; Puerto Rico vs. Netherlands. Finally, some payback for the U.S. for that embarassing loss in curling. [ESPN2] • College Basketball: Big East Conference Tournament, first round, at New Y...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your ex-mistress talks about your sexual dysfunction on the cover of a national sports magazine ... • World Baseball Classic: USA vs. Mexico, at Phoenix; Canada vs. South Africa, at Scottsdale, Ariz. Bud Selig will be watching via closed circuit TV from his underground lair. If you ...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Rosie DiManno
We don't know what the Canadian eqivalent is of the Navy SEALS, but whatever agency trains underwater commandos in the Great White North probably has Rosie DiManno on their payroll. It takes strong lung capacity to read a DiManno column — even silently. Try this typical passage (warning: take a la...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the rest of the family interacts with each other (fine, as long as they keep it down) ... • College Basketball: Colonial Athletic Association championship, N.C.-Wilmington vs. Hofstra, at Richmond, Va.; West Coast Conference championship, Gonzaga vs. Loyola Marymount, at Spokane, Wa...
You Can Own Jim Thome's Home
One of our favorite games to play around here is showing you houses recently traded athletes put for sale on the open market. We showed you Terrell Owens' $4.3 million pad and Manny Ramirez' $6.9 million penthouse....
To Watch Tonight...
NBA: Bulls @ Cavs. A rematch of Thursday's game when the Cavs did their best to blow a huge lead. See if they can pull it off this time....
To Watch Tonight...
• College basketball: UNC @ Duke. As if you have any choice in the matter....
I Think It's Time Eddie Sutton Had A Reality Show
Police in Stillwater have obtained video footage of Eddie Sutton urinating in public. On a middle school. With a bottle in his hand. Oh dear....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you remind yourself to tuck in your penis before playing Texas A&M ... • Boxing: Vic Darchinyan vs. Diosdado Gabi, for IBF flyweight championship; lightweights, Anthony Mora vs. Rustam Nugaev, at Santa Ynez, Calif. Yeah, well maybe we could enjoy this fight if Al Bernstein weren't c...
Pity The Poor Derek Lowe
A couple of days ago, the Los Angeles Times' Bill Plaschke wrote a story about the emotional difficulties of Dodgers pitcher Derek Lowe, who last year famously left his wife for Fox Sports broadcaster Carolyn Hughes. (You thought we were gonna say "Fox Sports broadcaster Tom Arnold." Admit it.)...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you recoil at the horrible real-life tragedy of Dr. McDreamy ... • World Baseball Classic: South Korea vs. Taiwan, Japan vs. China, at Tokyo. It's finally here! Let's play ball! We can't understand any of the signs in the stands! [ESPN2] • College Basketball: Central Intercollegiate...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize your hi-definition TV is defining some things you'd rather not have defined ... • College Basketball: Texas at Texas A&M, Utah at TCU. Yeah, if we had a nickel for every time a horned frog was mentioned in the Bible ... [ESPN2] • College Women's Basketball: Baylor at Tex...
To Watch Tonight
A kinky three-way between your ass, the sofa and the TV ... • College Basketball: LSU at South Carolina, Illinois at Minnesota. Are we having Illini pie or Gopher stew? [ESPN] • NHL: Minnesota at Colorado. And we're back, after the longest layoff since the strike. Except for the Swedes, of course, w...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Peter Vecsey
Forgive the analogy, but it occurred to us that a Peter Vecsey column is a lot like going hunting with Dick Cheney. If you're loud and obnoxious enough to scare the little critters out of hiding and keep loudly blasting away, you're bound to hit something eventually. And those innocent people who ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that the Wayne Industries logo in "Batman Begins" looks exactly like the Indiana University logo ... • College Men's Basketball: Pittsburgh at West Virginia, Oklahoma State at Oklahoma. Those flaming objects hurled toward the court must mean it's rivalry week. [ESPN] • N...
To Watch Tonight...
• NBA: Boston @ LA Lakers. A rare Sunday night NBA game on ESPN. Solid....
To Watch Tonight...
• Boxing: Fernando Vargas vs. Shane Mosley. I'd watch, but I can only think of about 75,000 ways to better spend $44.95....